A Man Lernt Me 'Bout Female Orgasms Today - UPDATE

It's so nice to run into an 'expert' on something, especially a man who is telling a woman she has no idea what she's talking about when it comes to a woman's orgasm. I opened up my e-mail this morning to have some weirdo trying to tell me I was selling snake oil with a comment I left on a +The Huffington Post Canada article. All I said was that working out your abdominals increased the intensity of orgasms, and didn't even go into detail the way I did in my previous blog post that you can read here. I let him have it, as politely as possible, beginning with asking if this was some sort of weird trolling joke. I ended by telling him Kegel exercises helped men too, that he should do his research on Wikipedia, and that maybe he wouldn't be so grumpy if he tried it.

His comment (and mine) was more extensive than I illustrate here, but I think you get the point. It's quite possible he was trolling. If he continues I'll just tell him to use someone else's post to increase his popularity, as there is no point in having a battle of wits with someone who is so obviously unarmed and outgunned. Imagine a man thinking he knew about the intensity of a woman's orgasms. I'd sure like to know how. Well, I guess that'll be my first ass-kicking of the day, even though I didn't get the rest that was prescribed by a very interesting friend of mine. ***(UPDATE - Interesting as in so insanely intriguing that I would like to delve into the mystery a lot more - apparently my meaning was not clear earlier, but I'm not giving any more details on a blog posting.)***

I'll consider that a warm up for the rest of the day. You know, it's a good thing I've developed a sense of humour about the inane and stupid things a large number of people feel it's their responsibility to say. Last night a woman started getting mad at me and arguing about something I didn't even say. Hence the remark about a friend prescribing rest so that I can kick more ass today. I think  he gets a kick out of my feistiness, but then he'd have to since it's an intrinsic part of my nature.

Sadly, my chauvinist 'friends' are being very circumspect and polite with me lately. Their behaviour surprises me. As a reward, I'm being very nice back to them. I even read one of their articles and posted a complimentary comment on it, and considering he was the worst offender I think it was pretty gracious of me to do so (I'm so vain). He's been posting polite answers to my queries, posting polite questions to my responses. Kind of scary. I wonder if his wife tuned him up. The other guy has been polite as well, but his only article that I could have commented on was a military one, and it just wasn't something I was knowledgeable enough about to take on.

What's funny is that I used to get all tied up in knots over stuff like this, even knowing how ridiculous it is, and now it's mostly just funny. Maybe this blog helps a bit, since it's good for venting...and a little bit of revenge if I'm honest with myself. I just don't get upset about this kind of thing anymore, though. People are what they are, and more often than not what they are is ignorant and mouthy. Ignorant meaning unaware of the facts, rather than ignorant meaning being a jerk (although that applies, too, I suppose).

Lest y'all think I'm just tough as nails, let me assure you that I'm not. I will bawl my head off if I see someone or something hurting. I have a weird empathy streak a hundred miles wide. I tear up or cry at every movie, cartoon, commercial or book you can think of. If there's a sappy moment, the waterworks rise to meet the occasion. When someone I love hurts me, though, it may not always show on my face, but it guts me to the core. I've learned to hide pain very well and at a very young age. One of my teachers in elementary school used me as an example of someone who projected a blank face (he wasn't being mean - I loved that teacher), and that was in grade 6. So, by the age of eleven I was already a master of the facade.

It took me a lot of work to learn to show my feelings again when it came to my personal hurts. I have no control over it when it comes to empathy for others, but for myself I do not cry. I have to consciously look at someone and allow them to see what I feel, because the mask and wall are so automatic. I also spent many years forcing the wall away. It's mental imagery, but it felt like a physical wall would drop down in front of me, blocking out my feelings for something. So, I had to break through the wall, and tear off the mask.

I started working on it when I was thirteen, when I realized I was dying inside. A failed suicide attempt at that time shocked me into realizing I had a problem. Being numb will only be a good thing for so long - a protective mechanism that harms you eventually. Once it starts killing you internally, suicide isn't far off. I never again attempted suicide, and never will. I love being alive. It goes back to the knowledge I've talked about many times, that everything changes. There is nothing static about life. A new beginning is often only a few minutes or hours away. Like anyone, I had to learn that lesson the hard way, but I did learn it.

A good example in my life has to do with the last five years of emotional numbness when it comes to anything even approaching a romantic situation. A big part of me feared I couldn't possibly be interested again, while another part of me was quite content with feeling that way. I was exhausted by the very idea of a relationship. I seem to have worked past that, thankfully, and it's with a great deal of relief that I know I'm capable of feeling those things again. Oddly, it started with a dream a couple of months ago, one I mentioned briefly in another post. It was about intense feelings, and in the dream I had them for someone specific that I didn't even know yet, despite knowing what he looked like. Tell me that's not weird.

At the time I had that dream I was still wrapped up in painkillers, so I pushed it aside. I knew I wasn't a whole person while I was on the drugs. I should still be on them, but outside circumstances forced me to make a decision; either stay on the drugs and continue as I was, or take a chance on opening up to something new. I chose the latter, and despite the pain I don't regret the decision. There are some really bad days for me, but I won't base my future on a drug-induced haze. This works for me on both the business end of things and the personal.

Now I'm at a place where my life is moving forward again, so I've lost a lot of the feelings of inadequacy I felt before. I'm a damn fine human being for the most part, with a good future ahead of me, and a little bit of a struggle to go through to get there, that's all. I'm no longer a drug sponge that can't bring herself to pick up the phone or deal with the complexities of her situation. No, now I'm an ass-kickin' Canadian...and proud of it! But you can just call me Sassy Pants!!