tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29341005822642162112024-03-05T01:41:09.373-05:00Torrential RainThe Outpouring of a Weird SoulTorrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.comBlogger266125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-70223594580910908432022-09-25T01:02:00.050-04:002022-09-25T01:25:12.934-04:00Is the "F*ck Trudeau" Movement Completely Ignorant, or Am I Missing Something?<p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">While I don't like Justin Trudeau (or, Sockboy, as I like to call him), and have never voted for him, I'd really like one of the Caucasian "F*ck Trudeau" people to explain exactly what they think he's done to them, in their actual day-to-day life (I understand why Indigenous people are pissed at him, however). I mean, it wasn't the federal government issuing mask and vaccine mandates, for the most part - it was our <i>provincial </i>governments...you know, the ones almost exclusively run by Conservative party leaders? They control <i>all</i> health regulations for all employment fields and businesses that aren't federally controlled (there are very few of those, by the way...just inter-provincial trucking, airlines, and banking, really, outside of the military and RCMP).</span></p><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I'm not saying people have nothing to complain about, but I do think they're diluting their own issues by ranting about things that have nothing to do with Trudeau. If they really want specific changes, they should be communicating that...with the appropriate governmental authorities, rather than blaming someone who has little control over provincial actions.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ostensibly, the issues were mask and vaccine mandates. However:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; white-space: pre-wrap;"><blockquote><b>"Up to and including August 19, 2022, a total of 370 reports with an outcome of death were reported following vaccination. Although these deaths occurred after being vaccinated with a COVID-19 vaccine, they are not necessarily related to the vaccine."</b></blockquote><blockquote style="font-size: 14px;"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: <span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif"><a href="https://health-infobase.canada.ca/covid-19/vaccine-safety/" target="_blank">https://health-infobase.canada.ca/covid-19/vaccine-safety/</a></span></span></i></blockquote></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">That's 370 people from a total of nearly 60 million doses given, and not all of those deaths were likely to have been caused by vaccines. (I could only find two deaths in Canada, specifically triggered by the AstraZeneca vaccine, but I'm likely missing some of the reporting on that.) Nearly 45,000 people have died from the virus in Canada, though that number is widely believed to be underreported. I prefer my quadruple-vaxxed odds, personally.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">For those who believe there's a microchip in them, one only needs to take a look at the size of the needle they have to use to microchip a pet (12-gauge for the older chips, and 15-gauge for the newer, much smaller ones - </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif" style="white-space: pre-wrap;">source: </span><span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.microchipidsystems.com/faq-items/develop-mini-chip-for-pets/" target="_blank">https://www.microchipidsystems.com/faq-items/develop-mini-chip-for-pets/</a></span></span></span><span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">). The chips themselves can be felt under the skin of the animal, even though they're smaller than a grain of rice.</span></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vaccine needles are super small - only 22- to 25-gauge, according to the CDC. They simply do not have the carrying capacity for microchips.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: xx-small;"><span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif" style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Source: </span><span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/hcp/admin/downloads/vaccine-administration-needle-length.pdf" target="_blank">https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/hcp/admin/downloads/vaccine-administration-needle-length.pdf</a></span></span></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Chipping is done subcutaneously, which is just under the skin. COVID vaccines are an intramuscular injection, which means you're basically stabbed with it. Two completely different methods. Additionally, most people carry around cell phones that can be <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-cybersecurity-phones/fcc-studies-technology-behind-60-minutes-hack-of-congressman-idUSKCN0XH2MC" target="_blank">remotely activated</a> unless you can pull the battery - which most cell phones no longer allow you to do, since they prefer you buy a new device rather than replace the battery. If the government chose to be that heinous, they would be far better off listening to your conversations than merely getting your location information from a tracking device (which your phone also does).</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">People seem to spend their entire lives being pissed off at the wrong leaders (or just for the wrong reasons), because they have no real understanding how government functions in Canada, and also seem to have no understanding of the actual definition of dictatorships or communism, much less the difference between communism and socialism (there's a big difference, I promise you).</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span>Most of the people who complain about Alberta having to pay a lot of money have no idea how deeply in debt Alberta was at one time</span><span> (a large number of the people who hate Trudeau hail from Alberta)</span><span>. During the Great Depression they defaulted on their debts, and it's the only province to have ever done so. It was the Social Credit party in charge at the time, who got into power on a platform of </span><a href="https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/alberta" target="_blank">religious fundamentalism and radical monetary theory</a><span>. Religious fanaticism does not make anyone wise, and certainly not in the realm of financial matters - particularly if they base financial decisions on religious beliefs. The general problem with the Alberta economy is a total lack of diversification. Apparently they've never heard the phrase, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." They're still making the same mistake. Oil is dead - it just hasn't learned to lie down yet.</span></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">While I hate to spoil the trucker pity-party, very few people who went to the rally in Ottawa were employed as truckers. 90% of truckers were already vaxxed when the rally took place, and it was led by people who weren't even involved in the industry. The vast majority of truckers cannot afford to take even a single day off that isn't required by normal trucking regs. They have far bigger concerns than being afraid of needles, and the rally distracted from those real concerns. Particularly when the hate flags started flying (Nazi and slavery symbolism, in addition to the Trudeau flags). Trying to argue your point of view doesn't fly when the hate flags are flying. More informed people turn deaf.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Sadly, I've seen "Every Child Matters" flags alongside "F*uck Trudeau" flags, and they were at the rally, too, where the other hate flags were flying. Those Trudeau flags weren't really seen anywhere until that rally. Considering the history of slavery in Canada, where Indigenous people were enslaved alongside Black people, I find that a little shocking. I'm not sure why anyone who cares about Indigenous rights would be flying the Trudeau flag, since most people associate the flag with hate groups. I do understand their anger toward Trudeau, but from a PR perspective, they would be far better served creating a different flag without the negative connections and connotations. Something that carries a real message, perhaps.
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span>It seems</span><span> most Canadians need to retake a history class (there are many free university courses online) on the things that have happened in Canada over more than just the last five years - looking for the root causes of the things they're seeing today, instead of just the present situation. [I'm talking about Caucasian people here, since many Indigenous people are all too well aware of their history, and the actions of the Canadian government.]</span></span></div><div><span face="Roboto, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Economic policy takes about ten years to come to fruition in the real world, so the majority of what Trudeau has been dealing with, economically, throughout his three terms has been fallout from Harper's <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/1952376/back-in-black-harper-sets-out-agenda-with-pre-election-budget/" target="_blank">smoke and mirrors budget</a> that sold off most of Canada's assets at a fraction of their value, and a global pandemic that's broken most other countries' economies, whilst we retain an A+ credit rating. The first year Trudeau was in office, Ft. Mac had their big fire, and Canada had zero money in the pot for emergencies. None. It was all gone. I speak as a former accountant and investment analyst, so I do know exactly what I'm talking about. I looked at the budget from Harper very carefully (what little he allowed the public to see, since he was never transparent). The fact that Trudeau's government has been able to provide any sort of support for Canadians during COVID is almost miraculous.
As for why I, personally, don't like Trudeau, I looked at his voting record before he ever got into office - something most people never bother to do. He was an MP and was happy to vote in favour of things like Bill C-51, introduced by Harper, which <a href="https://opencanada.org/the-disastrous-privacy-consequences-of-bill-c-51/" target="_blank">restricted many of our rights and freedoms</a> in Canada - particularly the right to privacy, so if you want to complain about privacy violations, that would be where to start. He was supposed to amend it, but never did - not a surprise when he voted for it. He never fulfilled his promise to get rid of first-past-the-post voting, and it's no longer even on his radar - his government created a convoluted survey no one knew how to answer, so they could cherry-pick the result they liked, which supposedly gave them the justification to go back on their promise.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span>I'm disgusted he never shows up for Indigenous rights. He also voted for Keystone XL, and bought the newly-defunct Transmountain pipeline expansion, paying far more than it was worth, considering it wasn't yet a functioning pipeline (and likely never will be now - the first one is still going, but leaks on the regular). </span><span>His claims of being environmentally friendly are a joke, as are his claims of being friendly to Indigenous people. Many of them wanted him to <a href="https://www.change.org/p/justin-trudeau-remove-your-haida-raven-tattoo" target="_blank">remove the Haida tattoo</a> he sports, because it's like a slap in the face.</span></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span>While I instinctively agree with the anger at his many trips using up a lot of jet fuel, when he could just as easily use secure forms of video calling, I also realize there are other factors at play on the global stage - sometimes it's a lot easier to talk in person (which I despise, but am forced to acknowledge) and get things done, and there's now the added security risk of Russia being a lot more determined to listen in on our political meetings with other nations. China (with their 'unlimited friendship' with Russia) also makes all of our tech. All of it. </span><span>It's truly stupid, and I've been yelling about it for years, but there isn't a nation in the world (that I'm aware of) that uses their own proprietary chips or motherboards, even in their most secure facilities.</span></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The US is finally getting a clue there, and they'll eventually be making their own, but otherwise every single comms device we have was made by a Chinese company. Every cell phone, every computer, you name it. And that includes all the 'smart' devices in people's homes. They've already been caught adding miniscule <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-10-04/the-big-hack-how-china-used-a-tiny-chip-to-infiltrate-america-s-top-companies" target="_blank">spying chips</a> to everyday tech. Motherboards, CPUs (despite major production largely being shifted to Taiwan, China still has power over Taiwan), GPUs, etc., are nearly all made in China. Think about it. CSIS and C-SEC computer systems were all made by Chinese companies. <i><b>That's our internal and national security. </b></i>The only thing Canada has done is require the removal of Huawei tech from our 5G network. The big telcoms are in the process of doing so now. That's just one company that was literally <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2020-07-01/did-china-steal-canada-s-edge-in-5g-from-nortel" target="_blank">caught stealing technology</a> from Canada (they bankrupted Nortel, a major Canadian employer).</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There's one big hiccup with regard to removing Chinese tech, however. Stephen Harper signed a <a href="https://thenarwhal.ca/harper-government-ratifies-controversial-canada-china-foreign-investment-deal/" target="_blank">deal with China</a> right before he left office, that forbade Canada from infringing on China doing business within the country, and allowed China to resolve any disputes <i>outside of Canada's court system</i>. It was one of his many backroom deals Canadians were not informed about until it was too late, and most Canadians still aren't aware the contract exists.</span></div></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Sadly, leaders like Pierre Poilievre are cut from the same cloth as Stephen Harper, and they're happy to brag about it. There were good reasons Erin O'Toole didn't bring Harper in to vouch for him during the last federal election - he's hated by most Canadians. Instead, O'Toole decided Brian Mulroney was a better option, despite him being ousted for taking literal <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/mulroney-tried-to-cover-up-cash-payments-he-received-in-hotel-rooms-schreiber-1.648379" target="_blank">bags of cash</a> from lobbyists and getting ousted from his role as Prime Minister. In other words, a crook was less hated than Harper. Harper had more scandals than any other PM in Canadian history. Thus far, Trudeau has had seven scandals whilst in office, though not all have been directly related to him, and there was one in particular that wasn't actually a scandal (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elbowgate" target="_blank">Elbowgate</a> - there's plenty of video showing what did, and didn't, happen). Harper had <a href="https://www.thestar.com/news/federal-election/2015/08/14/a-conservative-collection-of-harper-government-scandals.html" target="_blank">more</a>, and they were of a particularly serious variety, such as election fraud (the <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/key-facts-in-canada-s-robocalls-controversy-1.2736659" target="_blank">Robocall</a> scandal being just one of them).</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Any scandal is bad, frankly, so I feel little interest in supporting anyone who ends up in the middle of them. In Trudeau's case, his multiple <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/sep/20/justin-trudeau-brownface-scandal" target="_blank">brown-face scandals</a> are enough for me to conclude he's unsuited to lead a country full of people of varying ethnicities. It showed him as the overly-entitled child he seems to be to this day. He shows little understanding of the needs of anyone who couldn't afford private school. Even the recent 'help' for people to buy a home has an age limit, when there are plenty of people in Canada who have never been able to afford to buy a home - age has little to do with being priced out of the market. Far too many adults are still earning minimum wage, and fifteen dollars an hour (depending on the province) is nowhere near enough to buy a home, when the median price is (as of this writing) just shy of $700K.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I hate finding myself in the same camp as those who can't iterate their reasoning with regard to their anger and disgust toward Trudeau, however. I'm definitely angry with, and disgusted by, him, but I'm also not interested in associating with what amounts to a hate group in my mind. I find myself increasingly frustrated with the lack of awareness shown by a majority of Canadians, including those in power. Problems that could be solved with just a few moments of forethought and empathy are being swept under the rug as if they don't matter. Question Period in Parliament looks like squabbling children, rather than serious politicians trying to get work done for the people who hired them. The fact they're visibly enjoying the byplay makes it worse. It's not funny. People in Canada are dying of exposure and starvation, whilst our government employees are chuckling and having a good time getting nothing done for them.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">That's where the anger needs to go, frankly. It's happening in every legislative system in Canada; from Queen's Park in Ontario, to the Alberta Legislature, to our federal Parliament. Canadians are human beings, and we deserve a hell of a lot better than we're getting from our staff. One thing Trudeau should note, however, is that when people disengage from politics, it's usually not the Conservatives who do so.</span></div>Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-59431951905926692792022-01-21T19:44:00.003-05:002022-01-21T20:58:55.683-05:00The Return of 'Bad Jack' the 7-String - And the Rise of the Custom Build<p>As a metal and rock guitarist, I have two seven-string guitars - a super-cheap Jackson, and a slightly less-cheap Ibanez. Neither of them are studio-quality, but I've at least been beating the hell out of them the last two plus years. I practice a lot, hoping to get good enough one day to play my own music.</p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiux3g4-X9_-PYz_n6ibOxoI1zXQFZPzy-nFncMupGbGu_Tcvdf_CaVfp9rY2JXC0RKfUWzg2HRYnUhlKGXq15hp7euE23RQjB2H9mFEAl4jS-wkqCRnKSrDmmWpsEECkIR_Hgkkl9P1_fL/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="737" data-original-width="2400" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiux3g4-X9_-PYz_n6ibOxoI1zXQFZPzy-nFncMupGbGu_Tcvdf_CaVfp9rY2JXC0RKfUWzg2HRYnUhlKGXq15hp7euE23RQjB2H9mFEAl4jS-wkqCRnKSrDmmWpsEECkIR_Hgkkl9P1_fL/w609-h187/image.png" width="609" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jackson JS22-7 DKA HT Dinky Archtop<br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p>The Jackson is made in China, and, as one would expect, has really cheap parts. I eventually had to replace the output jack with something that didn't behave like an acrobat, bending in every direction and causing annoying grounding issues. It was my first soldering job, and it's honestly a miracle it worked as well as it did, since my daughter had oxidized the tip on the iron without me realizing it. I barely got things joined, but somehow I've had no issues with the jack since then. It got its moniker, 'Bad Jack', due to the brand name and the output jack being faulty. I still think of it as Bad Jack, despite the fix.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Y2wa4xecme1BrUTgS2CKT8ZYhWJf-qFgclM-UhQ4oqlR5Qan6YRjWsp0N-dPW9ZbCY6yQ88N2G8E7W1Ws0l0EFcTCCkrBl2zbVcN1Ixzge8eFdMqhxFsrQhyzyxK6Yj8WT2NUsC0otBv/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="862" data-original-width="2600" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Y2wa4xecme1BrUTgS2CKT8ZYhWJf-qFgclM-UhQ4oqlR5Qan6YRjWsp0N-dPW9ZbCY6yQ88N2G8E7W1Ws0l0EFcTCCkrBl2zbVcN1Ixzge8eFdMqhxFsrQhyzyxK6Yj8WT2NUsC0otBv/w619-h205/image.png" width="619" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ibanez RGMS7</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /></div>The Ibanez (I call it Ben in my head) was made in Indonesia, but it was below the $1,000 US threshold that generally indicates a competent guitar. It took longer to start experiencing issues, but eventually it got to the point where it was impossible to record or take any more guitar lessons. Now it's worse.<div><br /></div><div>I should point out here, frustration is my enemy. I don't tolerate it well, and I end up having meltdowns - I'm autistic, so I've learned I have to walk away when I start getting that frustrated. The frustration made it impossible to even practice at times, so I finally gave in and decided to get the guitars repaired. We took in the Jackson first, since we figured the Ibanez was still quasi-playable and we wanted to keep a 'working' instrument.</div><div><br /></div><div>We took the Jackson to Cithara Guitars here in Hamilton, Ontario, and we were well aware they were swamped and couldn't get to the Jackson until the new year, but we had assured them it wasn't an issue. Until it was, of course.</div><div><br /></div><div>That fantasy died a couple of weeks ago...along with the electronics in the Ibanez. It started putting out a thin, almost clean sound for a few minutes, until it failed utterly and completely, refusing to peep and squeal any further. I thought something had gone wrong in the amp sim on my computer. After rebooting multiple times and checking for updates, I went through the rest of the signal chain. I eventually plugged in an old six-string, which worked appropriately, in the very out-of-tune way one expects of a guitar that hasn't been played in years (at substantial risk of old strings snapping and cutting me, so I proceeded with caution).</div><div><br /></div><div>The six-string isn't a playable instrument, which means I haven't had anything I could use for practice. Most of my songs were written on a seven-string and require those extra notes. I'm trying to rehearse for studio recording, so it's been a little crazy-making for me. While I started out not using an amp at all, I now need the auditory feedback (not actual feedback) to know if I've got the feel of something. If I can't hear how it sounds through an amp, I'm not sure if my muting technique is correct, or even my pitch in many cases. I don't want to practice something the wrong way, in other words, because breaking a habit is a pain in the butt...and fingers, hands, wrists, elbows, shoulders, and back. Playing rock or metal guitar is a very physical thing. One just has to watch Angus Young, shirtless and dripping sweat on stage to get the idea.</div><div><br /></div><div>With all that, you can be forgiven for assuming I was excited to get the e-mail from Cithara that the Jackson was ready for pickup. Because, your assumption would be correct. My husband has it in hand, and I am awaiting its return as I write this. He's now dropped off the Ibanez, as well, and it's just a matter of time before we have two working instruments once again.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is important, because it's pretty tough to rehearse with someone whilst sharing a guitar. Yes, I know Walk Off The Earth can do a lot with one acoustic. We're not them. My husband normally plays the Jackson now, since he had to learn to use a seven-string if he wanted to play my music. For now we'll share it. We do have a five-string bass, so one of us can play that in the meantime and get more of our bass lines written.</div><div><br /></div><div>Our recent issues have highlighted the need to have better instruments. However, as a female guitarist with a fairly large chest, I have a big problem with standard guitar shapes. (Nita Strauss might not understand the need, and jokes about it, but she's not particularly large up front.) They may be designed to <i>look</i> like a woman's body, but they sure as hell don't fit one for playing - especially not lead, where the angle of the guitar changes drastically. There's only one guitar on the market that was designed by a woman, for a woman's body (the St. Vincent model). Cheers to Ernie Ball for doing more than any other guitar manufacturer in the world, but the problem is, it's a six-string. They don't make a seven. I guess they don't think women play metal. But, for their effort, at least, they deserve something. My husband loves their guitars, so he'll likely end up with a John Petrucci model at some point.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ironically, it was Fender that stumbled onto the fact nearly half the guitarists are women these days. They did a survey a few years ago and got the shock of their lives, apparently. They haven't actually done anything about it beyond giving a few women 'signature' models that look the same as every other guitar in their very small lineup of shapes. Not having a woman design them from scratch is a huge lapse in judgment on their part, and they're still missing out on almost half the market. And Fender, while 'classic', is boring. They never seem to do anything different. Teles, Strats, and the odd squashed versions they do of their own designs. Not very imaginative.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not going near Gibson with a ten-foot pole. Their litigious tendency, and poor design choices top the list of reasons, but the fact you can't keep the damn things in tune is really the biggie for me. They have a lot of nerve charging thousands of dollars for a guitar you can't properly use. When it comes to metal, you're also digging in a lot more, which causes almost any guitar to have tuning issues. So, why make it worse for myself?</div><div><br /></div><div>This is the reason I've never gone with a vibrato bar (Leo Fender named it a tremolo, and the term stuck, but it's not accurate - he made the opposite mistake on an amp, calling the tremolo knob a vibrato). Even the best vibrato system has tuning stability issues. If one string breaks, the rest usually go wildly out of tune. It happens on a regular bridge, too, but it's not as severe. It's why we have to go through the tuning sequence a couple of times to get things as lined up as possible, and there's a particular way you have to tune vibratro. It's actually not possible to have a guitar in perfect pitch, but we do what we can.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, after years of frustration with horrid designs, we decided it was time for me to build my own. At one time I would have literally done the building part myself, but I was one of the 'lucky' ones who got early-onset arthritis. My work with hand tools is at a minimum these days. I'll destroy my body to play a guitar, but I'll have to get someone else to build it for me.</div><div><br /></div><div>The repairs at Cithara are a sort of test, though their reviews are really good. They won't be able to start making it until summer, giving me plenty of time to sort out the details, but I've got most of the stats and components figured out. I'll be doing a video about it on my YouTube channel at some point, but that will be skewed toward the guitar nerd audience. None of the components will make any sense to non-guitarists.</div><div><br /></div><div>This new guitar is already in the process of being named. Yes, it's a thing. I'm not sure if all guitarists do this, but it does make it easier to tell someone which guitar to hand you if you have multiple models of the same brand. I believe Keith Richards and Todd Rundgren both name their guitars. I don't really follow either guitarist, but I did watch interviews about their gear.</div><div><br /></div><div>My brain has decided this guitar is female, not male like the other two. She's either going to be called RainStorm or Nemesis. I like both, so it's a toss-up at this point. Nemesis is the goddess of Justice and Retribution, and I've sort of identified with her for as long as I've known of the mythology. It's appropriate the guitar is likely going to be made by a company with a Greek gods theme going on. A cithara is an ancient type of lyre, but they've named at least five of their models after gods. They have yet to use the name Nemesis, so I will be mentioning it to them. Frankly, I want a trademark on the body shape, so I have to figure all that out.</div><div><br /></div><div>There are two or three companies that make something fairly close to what I'm planning, but one of them charges ~$8,250 US for the model I like, and the others are fully custom shops that charge exorbitant prices. While my own build will be over $4,000, it's still something we consider reasonable for what we're asking from our luthier. The build quality is important, obviously, but some of the parts are also expensive and some require extra router work.</div><div><br /></div><div>Basically, I'm getting rid of everything in the guitar that bothers me on a regular basis, and tailoring the shape for playability both sitting and standing. Every component will be extremely high quality, and a lot of parts will be Canadian-made. I could get custom pickups wound in Canada, but I already knew I liked the sound of a certain kind of active pickup that happens to be rechargeable, so I didn't want to go with something else that required a disposable 9V battery. Lithium Ion is already bad enough for the environment.</div><div><br /></div><div>I expect this to be something of a journey, and I'm hoping to include the whole experience in video form on my guitar channel. I've waited this long for a proper guitar, so I'll have to be patient a little while longer. Or try to be, anyway.</div>Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-3915647565352992492021-02-16T20:56:00.000-05:002021-02-16T20:56:02.929-05:00Life in the RV World, Part 2: Procrastination Screws Up Our Winterizing in a Good Way<p>We're in the middle of our third cold snap since winter began. We've had above-seasonal temperatures for most of the winter, but clearly the cold wants to sneak in there somewhere, climate change or not. This means winterizing, even with a four-season trailer that includes the Arctic package.</p><p>If you know me, then you know I procrastinate. Constantly. It can save me a lot of work, to be frank, because doing things early often means hearing, "I've changed my mind and no longer need this." At least, that's how it works in the corporate world. I always hit my deadlines when I worked those jobs, but usually waited until the last minute. I don't think I consciously knew that would happen, or that I procrastinated for that specific reason, but it did sink in somewhere in my hardheaded brain.</p><p>Of course, I've always procrastinated. Even as a child with school assignments. It gave me plenty of time to think about a project. I could figure out the best way to do something, and (potentially) it added a lot of value to my work. I constantly came up with new ideas, because the project was sitting in the back of my granite-like skull, awaiting execution.</p><p>Winterizing our trailer has been one example of this, even though it's also led to some issues for us. Those problems have shown me what I really need to focus on, however. Let me elucidate my strange reasoning.</p><p>The one thing I did right from the start was to winterize our exterior, potable water line. I added a strip of aluminum tape, and then used more aluminum tape to attach a heat trace (also called heat tape) down the length of it. The aluminum tape supposedly disperses the heat from the heat trace over a wider strip of the hose, which may or may not be helpful. I'm not entirely sure, but I wasn't taking chances with our water line. Then I added foil-covered bubble-wrap insulation. I covered the entire hose with it, and secured it with reusable zip-ties. Not only is it insulated, but it also has a thermostatically-controlled heat source. When the temperatures drop below 3C (37.4F), which is just above the freezing point (depending on your elevation), the heat trace turns on to keep the line warm(ish).</p><p>I still did this at the last minute, because we moved into the trailer right before it got cold and it took us a while to gather the necessary items. It was the night before we were going to hit a cold spell, though, when I finally got it done and installed it.</p><p>I did not insulate the post coming from the ground. It froze before I got to it, but I was planning to get it done. I eventually did that and even made a hood for it, which has since blown away in the wind because the rope wasn't fastened (I forgot to tell my husband the rope was there, and he just stuck the hood over the post without securing it). Now I have to make a new one, but I've run out of the bubble-wrap insulation. We bought a giant roll, but used most of it to make skirting - more on that in a minute.</p><p>As a make-do project, my husband used aluminum tape to press the heat trace against the brass y-connector that kept freezing, and then he wrapped scrap bubble-wrap insulation around that. Thus far it's been working, and we haven't had our water line freeze since he did it.</p><p>I chose to wrap our giant (120-pound rental) propane tank with the bubble-wrap insulation, just in case we had a really cold winter. Propane can turn into gelatin if it's exposed to extreme cold, and it won't fire once it does. The last thing we need is our heat source not working. According to one of the gentlemen who fills our tank, that's what he has to do in the Yukon Territories when he goes winter camping there. We don't get quite that cold in southern Ontario (not even close, actually), but it's possible we'll get an ice storm or some other freak-of-nature occurrence. We weren't sure what this winter was going to look like, and it was an easy thing to do.</p><p>The tank was delivered with a cap already on it. The valve is covered, as is the wireless sensor that tells them when it's time to come fill the tank. Of course, that failed and told them our tank had plenty in it. We ran out and they had to deliver more, but we told them it could wait until the next day, because we have three spare tanks. Two came with the rig, but they're only 20-pound tanks. We bought a 30-pound tank we were also refilling until we were able to get the big tank delivered. Now we keep them full just in case. It's a good thing we do.</p><p>I considered wrapping the pigtail hose for our propane, as well, but propane doesn't tend to remain in place in the hose when it's cold, so it doesn't have very much exposure before it's pushed through for use. So far it's been working. If it stops, we'll know the reason and we can fix the problem.</p><p>To make sure we're never without water, even if there's a freeze-up, we keep quite a few 4-litre jugs of tap water on hand for washing up, or to flush the toilet for solid waste. We also buy spring water in large jugs for drinking, coffee, and for the ferrets (we have three, and we hate giving them tap water).</p><p>We bought almost all the stuff we need to skirt the entire trailer, but I ran out of the snaps I intend to use to attach it. I misinterpreted the quantity information and didn't realized they were talking about pieces, not sets (there are four pieces to a single snap), and now we have to order more.</p><p>I used the 4-foot-wide bubble-wrap and cut it to lengths corresponding with each section of the trailer. Otherwise it would have been a hundred feet long and a pain in the butt to handle (our trailer is 33 feet long and about 8.5 feet wide, with a hitch/tongue extension). Some of the segments are already long enough to be annoying. Then I used a cheap landscaping fabric and spray glue to cover one side of each piece - I wanted it to match our trailer a little better and not be so reflective.</p><p>At some point I installed snaps on each piece and also smashed the back pieces together to ready them for attaching to the trailer itself. Those will be epoxied on, rather than screwed in where they would create holes that might be problematic (RVers hate putting holes in their hulls - it's a thing). The problem I've been trying to figure out has been how to keep the snaps in place while the epoxy putty cures, while still making sure they're placed in exactly the right spots. Measuring might work for some, but for me I don't trust how accurate I am there. It takes five minutes for the JB Weld putty to set, and another 24 hours for it to cure. I'm not sure what other brands are like.</p><p>The solution, which we will likely implement one day soon, is to use hook-and-loop strips. We buy it by the roll already, because it's awesome for putting up paintings and other things, rather than sticking holes into something. I haven't had good experiences with 3M adhesives, but my husband bought Command hooks the other day that seem to be staying up in our shower now. I might give their products more of a look for interior stuff, but it's unlikely I'll trust them for the exterior where windy weather is more of a factor.</p><p>We also bought a vent cover for our bathroom vent, but haven't put that on either. We don't get a lot of snow in the Hamilton, Ontario area, so we've always been able to open it if we needed to. I still want to put it on to keep out rain when it's warmer and we're opening windows and such again. Neither of us are keen on being on the roof, eleven feet off the ground, so we've put it off. We have two other vents, but we had a lot of other expenses at the time and only bought the one cover. We'll likely get the other two later, and maybe they'll all get installed at the same time.</p><p>The benefit to having procrastinated with the vent covers, however, is that I realized quite recently that I want to put insulation in them. We don't want light coming through them, for one thing, so we're going to have bubble-wrap insulation inside them to keep the sun from glaring in and heating us up during summer months, as well as keeping our own heat in during the winter. I'm not sure why they aren't sold as insulated units already. The insulation won't cover the air slits on the side, just the bubble on top. Hopefully they won't increase our roof height beyond the air conditioner already sitting up there.</p><p>Many RVers insulate their shower skylight, too, which we will likely do in the summer to limit heat exposure. Our bathroom is already too warm because we keep the door closed (ferret-proofing), and there's a heating vent blowing into a very small room. It's really nice when one of us is cold for whatever reason, because we can heat up almost instantly. It's also nice to have the extra heat when you're wet from a shower.</p><p>The benefit to procrastinating with the skirt is that it's allowed me to figure out how to do it properly, in addition to showing us what parts of the trailer really need it. We know the rear of the trailer is quite exposed in our current space, which means the lines to and from the water heater are exposed (we've lost our hot water when these lines have frozen, but it was extremely temporary). That's also the end with our kitchen's grey tank, and the gate valve froze for a couple of days so we couldn't empty the tank. In other words, we have to cover our ass in this trailer...as in life.</p><p>The non-door side of the trailer (where all the utility stuff is dealt with) doesn't need to be covered at all, since we're back-to-back almost with another trailer, and we aren't getting heavy winds from that side at all. The other two gate valves are located near the furnace exhaust (carbon monoxide, so you have to be careful) and we haven't had any problems with them so far.</p><p>I was originally trying to figure out how I could get the skirting to cover the utility area, because we would still need access to the valve handles to empty our tanks, but it looks like we won't have to cover that section at all. This means I have a nice, long piece of insulation I can use for other purposes. If we park in a different location, with different exposure, next winter, we can always buy another roll of it to make another piece. As it stands, I prefer to use it on interior windows.</p><p>Speaking of windows, that was something else I did to keep things a little warmer in the trailer. Our bedroom windows and vent are all covered inside with bubble-wrap insulation, using hook-and-loop fasteners so they can be quickly removed. One of the windows is our emergency escape, so we can't block it off in a way that's problematic to remove. Interestingly enough, since I stuck the fasteners to the screen on the emergency escape window, it actually pulls off the whole screen if I just grab the insulation to take it off. That makes it easier to remove the screen, now, than it was by pulling the tab they installed on it.</p><p>Only the stuff covering the roof vent is visible, since our windows all have blackout blinds on them. Strangely, the bedroom windows did not have the side pieces of the valences to prevent people from seeing in around the blinds. Yet the living room windows do have them. How that makes sense, I'll never know. The bedroom is where you want the most privacy, one would think. But, I'll get into the foibles of this trailer in another post.</p><p>I also covered our door window. It was the first window I covered, actually, because we were getting too much heat through it when the sun was beating on it, and I didn't appreciate the sun blasting through it to pierce my eyeballs with its strange pain while I was trying to sleep.</p><p>At the cold end of the trailer is also where my desk is situated. It's built-in (and the only model that had this feature, it seems), so I can't move it somewhere else, and with my arthritis the cold drafts I was getting were pretty hard on me for pain. I insulated the window over my desk, and also the wall in the knee well. It's done a fantastic job of keeping me warm while I work.</p><p>The only other window I've insulated so far is the one behind our theatre seating. We're there every night to watch news and educational (research for my novels) programming together, and my husband sits there with his laptop while he's working on stock reports, so I wanted to make sure we were warm there.</p><p>The roof vent in the kitchen was insulated, too. I've left the bathroom vent in case we need it, but in the kitchen we already have the range hood, which vents out the side of the trailer. We don't need a second vent for that kind of thing. It's mostly good for air flow in the spring and fall.</p><p>As someone who grew up in northern Ontario, I know what a cold winter looks like, and this doesn't feel anything like I remember. Today's conditions are nothing like what we dealt with in Muskoka back then. In fact, even in Muskoka they no longer deal with anything close to what we had when I was a kid and young adult. In my mid-twenties I remember we had a cold snap in Huntsville that was particularly nasty. The temperature itself was already -50C/-58F. We had wind chills down to -70C/-94F, according to weather reports on the radio at the time. (Much to my surprise, however, my car started that blustery winter day, and the block heater wasn't even plugged in.)</p><p>All-in-all, I think we're probably set for the rest of the winter, even if we never put the skirt on. The fact my husband generally walks around in his boxers is a good sign, and I'm often barefoot (neither pregnant, nor in the kitchen, thanks). A day or two of freezing isn't going to be a problem for us, and it's good to know that. In fact, having the challenges I talked about in <a href="https://rainstickland.blogspot.com/2021/02/life-in-rv-world-part-1-poop-pyramids.html" target="_blank">Part 1</a> has not only brought us closer together as a couple, but they've also increased our mutual confidence in our ability to look after ourselves in adverse conditions. The next step is going to be off-grid upgrades - something I'll tell you all about in a future post - and I cannot wait. Incinerator toilet and solar power here we come! Now, if only we could find a decent mobile internet provider. Yet another future post...</p>Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-49613159313815666862021-02-03T21:15:00.002-05:002021-02-03T21:15:19.329-05:00Life in the RV World, Part 1: Poop Pyramids, Poopsies, and Poopsicles<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcWnjyNj8WtJ11j06_k4rXuauIHulPNJWMy5SdrBpfbvcXCIpJ_Wbnn2Pk7q6SI1V7if14xmTqGr66kmosv1aIl_MJ4BuMEyHVMDM3SioSJIO4tjTLcqzQi8DE9tXTC2GCoVw4VawUX0S/s1000/gallery-front-cap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="668" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcWnjyNj8WtJ11j06_k4rXuauIHulPNJWMy5SdrBpfbvcXCIpJ_Wbnn2Pk7q6SI1V7if14xmTqGr66kmosv1aIl_MJ4BuMEyHVMDM3SioSJIO4tjTLcqzQi8DE9tXTC2GCoVw4VawUX0S/s320/gallery-front-cap.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our New Home</td></tr></tbody></table><p>It's been four months since we started *camping in our travel trailer. We've had a couple of cold snaps, and a few things have frozen, but it hasn't been a bad experience for us. In fact, we've rather enjoyed the challenges from those problem.</p><p>One of our first problems was a clogged black tank, which is the tank holding the waste from a toilet. This is not a fun prospect, but it's far easier to fix than one might imagine. You see, we accidentally left our valve open. We knew we weren't supposed to, but one of us forgot to close it. It was probably me, since I was doing the majority of the tank maintenance at the time. It's usually my husband who forgets this kind of thing, but I've got ADHD, too, so he's not the only one who has trouble with distractions.</p><p>We ended up with a 'poop pyramid'. In other words, all the fluid drained from the tank, leaving only solids behind. They form a pyramid shape right below the toilet (you can see it when you flush the toilet) which can then clog the main line. This is not a good thing, but we do have a flush inlet for an outside hose to be used. This helped. However, I don't think it did a good enough job getting rid of the clog, because we ended up with it clogging at the internal valve. We bought a flushing elbow that allowed us to use backflow pressure to break it up, which worked really well to remove the clog. (You MUST keep the toilet flush valve closed when doing this, or risk sewage spraying into your face when it suddenly clears.)</p><p>We also got an auger and sprayer wand for cleaning the inside of the tank - something we'll do in spring and fall when it's warmer, because we have to run an outside hose into the bathroom through an open door or window. Keeping the inside clean means the sensors, which tell you how full your tank is, will work a lot better. Toilet paper and other solids can cover the sensors, preventing you from getting an accurate reading. Many RVers complain their sensors don't work. This is why. You can buy external sensors that might work better, but I personally think it's better to keep the tanks clean. That prevents other problems from occurring.</p><p>As we were working on the clog, however, the sewer line popped off and spilled sewage onto the ground. This is affectionately known as a 'poopsie' in the RV world. I immediately closed the gate valve, so the damage was minimal. (I always watch when I first open the valves to make sure we don't have a problem, because that first rush of materials has a bit of force behind it, and this time the force must have been pretty high with the extra water rushing through it to remove the clog.) After some research, and also checking with the RV park where we're staying, we sprinkled garden lime over it to deal with the problem. It neutralizes it, apparently. Cold temperatures help avoid any smells, too.</p><p>Funnily enough, our 'neighbour' tried to tell us immediately after that we should leave our valves open all the time. Um, no. Don't. Very bad. Especially in winter. If your sewer line freezes you won't be able to drain your other tanks, either. All three of our lines come out in one line. A sewer freeze-up means we can't shower or wash dishes once our grey tanks fill. Our owner's manual tells us to only have one open at a time. If they made a mistake with that, they pay for the damages. If we go a different way and it's a mistake, we have to pay those damages. However, we already have experience that tells us the manual is correct. Expert advice says the same. 'Some yahoo next door' isn't an expert.</p><p>Then we had a problem with the elbow, because we got rain that froze the gate valve shut (it has an extra valve). We ended up with a bit of a 'poopsicle' (frozen poop inside the drainage line) by the time my husband decided the solution was to pour hot water over it to thaw the valve. This worked very well, and did not cause anything else to freeze later since he did it carefully. We removed that elbow to prevent future problems, and will only attach it when we need it.</p><p>We haven't skirted the trailer yet, which literally means putting a skirt around the entire base of the trailer to prevent cold drafts around our pipes, etc. I finally figured out the easiest way to do it, so we'll likely do that tonight or tomorrow, but I'll explain our winterizing steps in detail in another post.</p><p>Not skirting the trailer, however, caused us to have a frozen gate valve on our rear grey tank (called a 'gray tank' on our panel because it was built in the US - why am I so annoyed by that spelling irregularity?) for two or three days until the weather warmed up a little. Thankfully that's our kitchen tank, so it just meant my husband couldn't do dishes for a bit (he does them because my sensory issues make me gag if I stick my hands in dishwater, and then I later freak out from my hands getting dry...and I'm disabled, so standing for long periods is a problem). I suggested using the shower to do them, since a sink isn't really required. Plus it would allow him to sit down while doing them. A small bathroom means the toilet is right there.</p><p>Our furnace heats the internal plumbing in the underbelly of our trailer, but it wasn't quite enough to handle the cold snap we just had, so unless we skirt the trailer we're going to continue having this problem. And we're about to have another cold snap, so we need to get it done. Our floor will be a lot warmer to walk on, too.</p><p>Another issue we had during the two cold snaps was our hot water line freezing. That may sound like it doesn't make sense, so I should explain the reason. Our water heater is also at the rear of the trailer, which is the most exposed to the cold and wind right now. The line going into the water hater isn't heated, of course, and the water coming from it eventually gets cold if we're not using hot water. One of those lines froze, not the water heater itself.</p><p>The very first problem we had was a brief period where the water line itself froze. I had already winterized our hose, which I'll discuss in detail in the winterizing post, but I hadn't wrapped the park's line yet. The pipe from the ground was still exposed. I had intended to insulate it, but hadn't made it that far. Additionally, I hadn't flipped the breaker for the 110V power, so our heat trace wasn't working either. I'm not sure which was the bigger problem, but it melted pretty quick and I got everything running properly. Well, my husband noticed the breaker not being on, which made me feel pretty stupid, but then I'm usually the one fixing those sorts of problems so I probably shouldn't feel too bad. Thankfully, he's not the type to humiliate me for mistakes.</p><p>We've had the main line briefly freeze (from the park) since then, but that was because the hood on the post blew off and was lying on the ground...instead of insulating like it should do. There was supposed to be a rope holding it on, but my husband didn't know it was there (because I didn't explain it to him, since I wasn't expecting him to do the work outside).</p><p>An issue or two per month, I suppose, as we adjust to winter camping and all its quirks. Not bad for our first go-round. We're not only learning, but we're also somewhat slow at getting things done. I'm heavily medicated for my arthritis, so I have stretches where I can't concentrate or I simply feel incapable of doing anything. I also have bouts where my pain flares up beyond my medications' ability to handle it. Those days usually involve me lying in the fetal position, rather than getting anything done.</p><p>My husband, while somewhat handy, isn't as knowledgeable about RVs, mechanics, electrical, etc. I've been using power tools since I was a child, and went camping every summer for two months in an over-the-cab camper (a slide-in camper for truck beds that has a bed area over the cab of the truck). Winter is a new thing, but I've done a lot of research. I spent weeks before we moved into the trailer, learning everything I could about how things work and all the maintenance we have to do.</p><p>We're slacking, though. I still haven't gone up on the roof from sheer terror. Same with my husband. We both happily admit we're chickens. It's more than eleven feet off the ground, and it's a rounded roof. I want to install a fall-protection system. That kind of fall is a very bad day, and possibly deadly. I've already had a skydiving accident (from trying to face my fear of heights) and have no interest in falling from a height again. We have a vent cover we have to install over our bathroom vent, since we feel that one in particular needs to be something we can open. A lot of snow will prevent that unless we install the cover.</p><p>Another issue for me, of course, is my schedule. I sleep during the day, because I can't sleep at night. (It's childhood-onset delayed sleep phase disorder and can't be fixed by light therapy.) Meaning, it's usually dark in the winter by the time I'm ready to get anything done. I'll either have to stay awake for a day to do it, or I'll have to wait until spring. Decisions, decisions...</p><p><br /></p><p><i>*I have to call it 'camping' because it's illegal to live in RVs in our province. We have to have a fixed address, and Ontario law does not allow anyone to live (even on their own property) in an RV. We have to go to designated campgrounds and also have a 'bricks & sticks' address in order to retain our residency. Residency is required if we want to keep our healthcare and driver's licenses. Not to mention the insurance on the trailer, which is required for our loan on it.</i></p>Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-90570799252256732572021-01-18T21:21:00.000-05:002021-01-18T21:21:51.930-05:00Ethics Vs. Expediency - Boeing's Moral Bankruptcy and the Lack of Consequences<p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Cheating culture has become normalized in society. So has lying. People seem to think it's the easy way out of every problem, and it has become an accepted part of how people go about doing their business. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in corporations who are supposed to provide a good or service. Many companies start out with good service and good intentions, but when they get bigger they're either bought by a company with no ethical standards, or they <i>become</i> a company with no ethical standards.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I could list multiple examples of heinous behaviour from corporate entities, who simply do not care how much their actions hurt people. They're too large to give a damn about one angry customer, or even a hundred. The only time anything changes is when there's a class action lawsuit against them, but generally they settle so they don't have to fix anything. They pay a nominal fee to make the nuisance go away, and don't bother to change a single thing they do if there's no court order to do so.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Take Boeing, for example. They killed 346 people. They are responsible for their murders because they lied to regulators about the software in the 737 Max 8 jet. They <i>deliberately </i>misled FAA regulators so their plane would pass inspections and be cleared to fly. Two planes went down, killing hundreds. Imagine the horror of the pilots when the computer took control of the plane, forcing the nose down, and there was nothing the pilots could do to avert the tragedy. They were killed by a computer glitch that was hidden by Boeing. They knew there was a problem, so they lied. <i>And many people died.</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Yet, not a single person went to jail. Hundreds murdered, no jail sentences. The company <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/7563091/boeing-737-max-settlement/" target="_blank">settled</a>.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Now those planes are back in the air, and I don't care how 'rigorous' their testing was; I will never fly on any Boeing plane again. None of them can be trusted with my safety, and I would not give Boeing the financial recompense. There were no consequences for the people who lied and killed hundreds of customers. The company paid money in a settlement, but the people who lied weren't punished whatsoever. This is a major legal and ethical failure - not just on the part of the Boeing executives who chose to lie to the FAA, but also on the part of every government that's still allowing Boeing any air space. Boeing should have been permanently barred from creating passenger planes after proving they could not be trusted with the safety of human beings. Alternatively, they could sacrifice everyone who had a hand in making such a heinous decision, by allowing them to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">How, exactly, are we to trust any company that lies so egregiously that they don't care about risking human lives? It's not the plane that's the issue now...it's the ethics of the executives involved. They will literally allow people to die if it gets their plane cleared to fly. And what happens when they do it again? Since there were no consequences this time round, what kind of deterrent is in place to keep them from repeating their actions? Even if the people responsible were let go, there's no criminal record to keep them from being hired somewhere else, and they will be just as morally bankrupt there as they were at Boeing.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">The thing is, <i>this is NOT normal</i>. This is <i>not</i> how our laws are set up, and it is not how our country was intended to run (I speak of Canada, specifically, but it applies to any nation with consumer protection laws). Citizens are supposed to be protected from corporate malfeasance and perfidy. When they steal from us, corporations are supposed to be held accountable. When they lie and people die, they're supposed to be held accountable. Paying a settlement, from what amounts to petty cash for an airline manufacturer, is not accountability. Jail terms, prison sentences...those are accountability. If you kill people through intentional actions, you should be going to jail. Manslaughter charges would have been fully appropriate for every person who chose to remain silent regarding the software on the Max 8.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Instead, the US government got a settlement. Has Canada received any of that money? What about the two other countries the planes took off from, and all the countries people lived in before they were negligently murdered? Only $500M goes to a trust for family members of the victims. And who, exactly, thinks a settlement replaces family members who have been killed?</span></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I didn't know anyone who died on either of those planes, but I'm horrified that this has become the normal way of doing business for every western nation. Zero accountability. The company is blaming two of their expert pilots, and they eventually ousted their CEO, but that does not fix the problem, does it? People lied and people died, yet, somehow, no one is being punished for that. This isn't a society. It's a corporate free-for-all.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As House Transportation Committee Member DeFazio (D-Ore) said, it's a 'slap on the wrist' for Boeing, adding in a statement, "<span style="background-color: white; letter-spacing: 0.25008px;">I hope the DOJ can explain its rationale for this weak settlement to the families, because from where I sit this attempt to change corporate behaviour is pathetic and will do little to deter criminal behaviour going forward." The explanation is simple. It's called lobbying, also known as legalized bribery of public officials. Citizens United is not anything that helps actual citizens, and it's not about unity for citizens either - it's all about corporations being able to pay their way out of any situation (of their own making) that they find themselves embroiled in.</span></span></div>Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-86627404049499601312020-12-25T21:53:00.000-05:002020-12-25T21:53:46.852-05:00The Problem With Celebrity 'Expertise' on Social Media Platforms<p>A social media platform these days can be
problematic. Not only because celebrities are somewhat forced to share their
opinions on a variety of subjects they know little about, but because they inevitably
give them, even if they have no idea what they’re talking about. For some reason,
a large percentage of the public tends to believe whatever asinine thing they
say, despite their complete lack of expertise. As an autistic, I’m particularly
sensitive to this. In part, because neurodivergents are regularly attacked and
endangered by these unproven statements, but it’s also in large part because my
traits are such that I despise bad information and unfair practices. Fairness
and justice are a big deal to me.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Lies and disinformation, even if unintentional,
are harmful. The spreading of misinformation results in people dying. That may
seem like an exaggeration to those who are privileged enough to never have been
subjected to these situations, so I feel it is necessary to illustrate my point
with some examples.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">LGBTQ+ people have been subjected to hate
and ‘street justice’ for their differences from the majority of society, for
centuries. This prejudice increased with the actions of the American Psychiatric
Association (APA) which labeled homosexuality a psychosis some time ago. In the
mid-1900s a psychologist did a study which proves this was not the case. The
APA refused to remove the label of psychosis until <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201509/when-homosexuality-stopped-being-mental-disorder" target="_blank">1987</a>.
The World Health Organization (WHO) didn’t remove it until 1992.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Electroshock therapy was used until gay
people vomited, and they were forced into going on dates with the opposite sex.
In other words, they were tortured and told they didn’t know what they were, by
people who couldn’t possibly have known such things without being psychic, and
then they were forced to behave according to the conventions contemporary society
wanted displayed.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA"><a href="https://www.britannica.com/event/Stonewall-riots">Stonewall</a> is just
one result of that. The ~700,000 people who died of AIDS (<a href="https://www.kff.org/hivaids/fact-sheet/the-hivaids-epidemic-in-the-united-states-the-basics/" target="_blank">in the US alone</a>), is another result. The prejudice against gay people led the Reagan
administration to ignore a major health crisis. It wasn’t until Reagan’s
daughter came out as a lesbian (and Ronald Reagan became terminally ill) that <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/patti-davis-nancy-reagan-gay-marriage_n_3100166?ri18n=true" target="_blank">Nancy Reagan changed her tune</a>, but by then it was too late. They treated these
people as if they deserved to die for their ‘life choices’. While Mike Pence
was Governor of Indiana, his prejudice against LGBTQ+ people led to a large <a href="https://www.npr.org/2020/02/27/810095474/reexamining-mike-pences-record-on-health-care-as-indiana-governor" target="_blank">outbreak</a>
of AIDS, which was badly mismanaged.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Even if homosexuality were a psychosis,
they would still have no choice in their actions, but people are blamed for
their mental health challenges, no matter what they are. The prejudice against
anyone with a psychosis has always been a problem. The word ‘psychosis’ is
deemed to be synonymous with dangerous.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">It took the APA until June 2019 to <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-lgbt-stonewall-psychoanalysts-idUSKCN1TM169" target="_blank">apologize for their actions</a> against the LGBTQ+ community.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">The same thing happened with transgender
people. The APA labeled it a psychosis. Trans people have been subjected to
cruelty and murder for their differences, just as LGBTQ+ have been. They cause
no harm to anyone, and are far less likely to commit acts of violence than the
population at large, but are subjected to violence on an ongoing basis. Searching
for trans violence sources on the internet results in a plethora of studies on
violence against them, rather than displayed violence. The reason for this is
simple. They have been singled out by the APA, and the non-trans population was
thereby given permission to single them out for abuse and discrimination. 22 trans
people in the US were <a href="https://www.hrc.org/news/hrc-releases-annual-report-on-epidemic-of-anti-transgender-violence-2019" target="_blank">killed</a>
in 2019 alone. Nearly all of them were black transgender women, so racism is
also likely a factor, but bigotry is still bigotry.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">I won't even get into the JK Rowling <a href="https://www.thecut.com/2020/07/j-k-rowling-writes-essay-defending-her-transphobic-remarks.html" target="_blank">debacle</a>, for which she seems to have left Twitter.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">It wasn’t until the APA released DSM-5 in
2013 that ‘transgender’ was officially removed as a psychosis and they were
recognized as knowing who and what they are. Apparently their 2019 apology
encompassed trans people as well. However, the damage was already done…once
again.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">This infantilizing and patronization of
human beings by the APA has led to violence and murder. Repeatedly. Now they’re
doing the same thing to autistics, and celebrities are lapping it up. William
Shatner is only the latest in a long line of celebrities spreading
misinformation about autism, and it pains me to admit one of the worst for
spreading lies about autism is another Canadian; <a href="https://time.com/3944067/jim-carrey-vaccines/" target="_blank">Jim Carrey</a>, along with
his former partner, Jenny McCarthy Wahlberg, has been spreading vaccine
misinformation for a very long time, claiming the work of former physician <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Wakefield" target="_blank">Andrew Wakefield</a>
proved vaccines caused autism. Work for which he later lost his licence to
practice, because he concealed his funding and manipulated the data to ‘prove’
his theory for his patrons. Anyone can buy a study, apparently, so one always
has to look at the funding sources.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Many studies have been conducted since
Wakefield’s shameful work, and they have all debunked his hypothesis. But the
damage was done there, too. The anti-vaxxer movement was born and we suddenly
started having <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/measles/cases-outbreaks.html" target="_blank">measles outbreaks</a>.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">We also started seeing a lot more hate for
autistics. We’ve been told autism is a disease and a disorder. We’re told
constantly, by people we once admired, that we’re a drain on society and should
be kept from view of the public. The premier of the province of Ontario, <a href="https://pressprogress.ca/heres-why-parents-across-ontario-are-furious-about-doug-ford-cutting-supports-for-autistic-children/" target="_blank">Doug Ford</a>, is one such public figure. He’s claimed autistics bring violence into
neighbourhoods, among other heinous statements.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">When autistics who can speak actually speak
out for autistics, we’re told we couldn’t possibly know what we’re talking about,
and that we don’t know what’s in our own brains. We’re told we’re audacious
because we speak for fellow autistics who are non-verbal, such as the latest
tweets by Bill Shatner. ‘Yet another high-functioning autistic thinking they
can speak for non-verbal autistics.’ (I’m slightly paraphrasing, as I’m not
interested in promoting his account by grabbing the actual tweet. You can look
it up on Twitter if you don’t believe me, however.)</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">My response? Yet another white, male,
cisgender, ableist celebrity who’s arrogant enough to tell us who we are. This
is a man who will never understand prejudice. He converted to Judaism, rather
than being born into it, so he didn’t experience the anti-Semitism many Jews
have experienced. None of Shatner’s co-stars from Star Trek seem to like him
very much, though, so I guess I’m not alone in my disgust of him. In 1998, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001150/bio" target="_blank">according to IMDb</a>, James
Doohan said, “I wish I could say that Bill is a nice man, but he isn’t.” He
also said, “I like Captain Kirk, but I can't say that I'm very fond of Bill
Shatner.” Shatner refused to appear on stage with George Takei at Doohan’s last
convention, and while Leonard Nimoy sponsored Shatner’s conversion to Judaism,
the friendship later soured to the point where Shatner <a href="https://comicbook.com/startrek/news/william-shatner-leonard-nimoy-funeral-star-trek/" target="_blank">did not attend Nimoy’s funeral</a>, due to Shatner filming Nimoy without his
permission and including the footage in a documentary about Star Trek captains.
Nimoy had already refused to be in the production, and Shatner’s arrogance led
him to ignore his friend’s refusal. Clearly, Shatner exhibits a behavioural
pattern to suggest he believes his own wishes trump the personal rights of
others. Even <a href="https://trekmovie.com/2020/05/18/interview-walter-koenig-talks-new-memoir-closure-with-william-shatner-and-putting-chekov-behind-him/" target="_blank">Walter Koenig has issues</a> with him. If it weren’t for the fact he still has a huge
platform, I wouldn’t bother with mentioning him, since no one seems to like him
anyway. His verbalizations indicate we should maybe just remove the last three
letters from his surname, because that’s the kind of thing that falls out of
his mouth.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">As an autistic, I can tell you far better than
a neurotypical person how another autistic might be thinking. I can describe
what goes on in my brain quite well, and I can fully relate to what other
autistics are thinking and doing. I watch non-verbal kids as they play with
light and shadow, and I remember the feeling of watching pretty lights and
getting dazzled by them, soothed, lost in their beauty and magic in a way
non-autistics will never understand. While I don’t spit or play with fluids, I
have similar sensory behaviours. I touch fabrics that are particularly soft,
and I stroke them repeatedly. I pet my ferrets. My feet move back and forth on
my bed sheets, because it calms me and helps me sleep. And also because it just
feels good. Not in any sexual way, but as a sensory experience. I’m very
tactile, but extremely selective about it because of my sensory issues.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">I watch parents struggle with their
non-verbal autistic children, and I grow frustrated with the lack of
information they’re getting. They really don’t know how to work with their kids,
and there are some very simple things they could be trying (such as musical
interaction and interacting in such a way as to understand the world their
child is seeing). Instead they’re told to put their children into ABA, which is
behavioural adjustment that results in nothing more than a temporary fix. It’s
also well-known to autistics as a form of torture. They tried it on gay and
trans people, too. It’s called conversion therapy.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">There is no evidence to support the
hypothesis that ABA works for anything more than the <i>short-term</i>, as the latest, admittedly less cruel, version of it has only been practiced for a short period of time. It instills
a heavy load of guilt and shame no autistic should be carrying. We cannot
change. We can only work with who we are. Dogs don’t become cats, gay people
don’t become heterosexual, and autistics don’t become neurotypical. It used to be worse, with 40 hours a week of intensive 'therapy' to 'fix' autistics. We are not broken. We just are.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">We can, however, learn to communicate through other means, such as music. One child <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/4-year-old-with-nonverbal-autism-begins-to-speak-thanks-to-old-town-road/" target="_blank">learned to speak</a> through the song "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus. It baffles me why this method is semingly never used. Singing along to a song is <i>by far</i> a more fun way to learn to speak, and fun is the best way to get an autistic to cooperate. Many of us simply refuse to speak because we do not wish to, and frankly that's our right.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Autistics are regularly experimented on
without our consent. It’s a violation of our human rights in both the US and
Canada, and no one is doing anything about it. We autistics are terrified and
traumatized by society’s reaction to us. And it doesn’t help that defense
attorneys are attempting to use autism as a defense for mass murder. It’s
happened in the US for mass shootings, and in Canada most recently with <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/23/toronto-van-killer-autism-defence-alek-minassian" target="_blank">Alex Minassian</a>, the man behind the van attack on a Toronto street. They’re
trying to say his extreme autism means he doesn’t know right from wrong. He
clearly does know the difference. He just doesn’t care. Sociopathy or
psychopathy is the more likely explanation. It has nothing to do with autism,
specifically, but rather a comorbidity that can potentially come with it. I
have ADHD and OCD traits as comorbidities.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Psychologists telling people that autistics
kill is going to get the rest of us killed. Celebrities telling autistics we
don’t know our own minds isn’t helping anything. We’re being gaslit in every
conceivable way.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">The solution? Psychologists actually
listening to autistics.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">But that is not happening. We’re being
labeled psychotic and dangerous, and it’s showing up in courtrooms, where
precedents are set. We aren’t being asked who we are. We’re being <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">told</i> who we are. No one has the right to
do that, but the ‘autism’ label has somehow made these people feel they have
permission to dissect us in the most public and humiliating ways possible. We’re
being talked down to by celebrities with platforms on social media who are
under the mistaken belief they’re qualified to do so.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Many autistics are so intelligent they
qualify for entrance into Mensa. Actors think they’re smarter and better
educated.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">When the APA decided to roll people with
Asperger’s into the autism spectrum in their diagnostic manual, major problems
started cropping up. They didn’t bother to ask autistics about their thoughts
on the matter. They didn’t bother to ask anyone with Asperger’s. They simply
decide to lump us together, uncaring about the damage they might do to all of
us.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">The public at large does not understand autism.
The majority of people think it’s a single arc, with verbal and so-called ‘high-functioning’
autistics on one end, and non-verbal and ‘low-functioning’ autistics on the
other. That isn’t how it works. There are many bands on that spectrum. Some of
those bands include verbal skills, others include life skills. Some bands
correlate to creative ability, etc. A non-verbal autistic can be a musical
genius, whilst a verbal autistic can be terrible at life skills and social
interaction.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Every autistic is unique, just like
neurotypical people. Labels have turned us into a race of people who are then
subjected to bigotry. Autistics don’t all look alike, just like people of
colour do not look the same. Bigotry in any form is fear. People fear that
which is different, until they understand it and realize it isn’t a threat.
However, we have been labeled a threat. Now what? Are we going to be rounded up
and put into concentration camps?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Parents who cannot handle their autistics
children are looking for solutions, and institutionalization is one action they
sometimes default to. It isn’t a solution. It’s a way to get away from the
exhaustion they’re feeling. And it’s a way to make sure their child is looked
after if they die. It doesn’t improve anything for the child, and in all
likelihood makes it worse for them.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Parents want to ‘cure’ their child. But, it’s
not a disease, and it’s a bloody insult to call it one. Autism is part of our
entire genetic structure. It involves a thinner myelin sheath, which means we have
less insulation on our nerves (an electrical system, so that may indicate the
nature of the difficulties we face with communication just within our own
brains) and tendons. We’re born with it, and the signs can begin to show very
early if a parent is observant. There have been studies to indicate <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15142659/" target="_blank">deficiency in DHA</a> may be a
trigger. DHA is a type of fat found in meat.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Pregnant women who are vegan may not be
consuming enough DHA, and the first two years of a child’s life are important
for consuming fat, as well. The brain requires it. Constant dieting has led us
to a point where parents are not allowing their children to eat enough healthy
fat. Doctors have recommended homogenized, full-fat milk for children under the
age of two for decades now, because their brain requires it for proper
development. When I had my own daughter more than thirty years ago, they were
already recommending full-fat milk. I made sure she got it.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">While many children are diagnosed around
the age of two, the traits will have manifested before then. Otherwise, parents
would not have taken the extreme step of having their child diagnosed. It is,
after all, a very expensive thing to do. In Ontario, it costs anywhere from
$3,000 to $5,000 to get an autism assessment. And that’s in a place with
healthcare insurance. That amount is astronomical to most young parents. So
they wait until they can get assessed through the province. In Ontario the
waiting list was about two years prior to the commencement of the COVID-19
pandemic. It will be much longer now. In other words, people are correlating
the diagnosis with vaccines simply because the diagnosis occurs around the same
time children receive certain vaccines. Correlation is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> causation, and society would do well to remember that. Making
these assumptions has hurt not only autistics, but children who have
subsequently contracted nearly-eradicated diseases that experience a resurgence
when parents refuse to vaccinate their children.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Fear drives these issues. Parental fear for
their children, societal fears about safety, political fears about elections
where politicians use autism as part of their platform, and celebrity fears
about things they don’t understand. None of these fears are based on scientific
evidence. And, of course, confirmation bias is something of a problem. People find
sources that confirm their beliefs, rather than looking at evidence presented
from all sources to determine the most likely point of truth.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">One additional comment from William Shatner
had to do with people telling him to stay in his lane, and was his response that (paraphrasing again) only people under thirty would use that phrase. Seeing as many of Donald Trump’s
cohorts use that term, and many, many people of my own generation also do so (unrelated to Trumpism),
he’s off-base on yet another assumption.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">Neurotypicals do not understand neurodivergents.
Psychologists and psychiatrists think they understand us without bothering to
ask if they’re right.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA">So, speaking as a 49-year-old autistic
woman, who very clearly has had an online presence for many years and is a real person who writes real books, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">William Shatner,</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">stay in your lane</i>. You’re hurting autistics in a way you can’t even
understand because you’ve never experienced real hate and prejudice. You are
more of a danger to society than any autistic, due to the garbage you speak. No
one is threatening <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your</i> life for
something you have no control over. Autistics are already being abused and <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/autism-stigma-and-murder_b_5211817" target="_blank">killed</a>.
We don’t need more ‘help’ from celebrities.</span></p>Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0Canada56.130366 -106.34677127.818781766686541 -141.503023682209 84.441950233313463 -71.190518317791017tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-17384047610886187372020-12-12T21:54:00.002-05:002020-12-12T22:08:31.799-05:00Going Non-Verbal, the Dangers of Advice, and the Latest Music and Writing News<p>Since this blog was originally intended more for personal use, and to practice my writing, I'm going back to that format for a little while. It helps me get back into it, and also fills people in on how things are going in my world.</p><p>I went non-verbal the other day for nearly twenty-four hours. Normally I talk a lot around my husband, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. I was upset about something that wasn't anyone's fault (anyone currently in my life, at least), and couldn't talk about it. It was so huge inside me, taking over every thought I had so that I was unable to care, or speak about, anything else. And I wasn't ready to discuss the problem until I figured out what the hell it really was.</p><p>I do that a lot. I didn't even notice I was doing it, but as I look back at my life with the fairly recent knowledge I'm autistic, I see the behaviours I didn't see before. I see the years of getting lost in books. I see the many months of gaming, when I barely spoke to anyone. Later in my life it was guitar, where I practiced for hours every day. My activities are nearly always solitary. Music is a little different, since I'm making a career out of it and my husband rehearses with me, but my whole life has revolved around activities where no one else was involved, and I had no need to talk. Even my jobs were solitary. And my work still is, for the most part.</p><p>I spend my time in silence thinking about what's bugging me. Until I have it sorted, and find a solution, I don't want to talk at all. Not about anything. Even when I do have a solution in my head, I don't discuss the problem unless it involves others and I have no choice. People have complained about that trait, telling me if they had known they would have been there for me, but I don't want anyone there for me. Usually that involves advice I would never take, and since people are insulted by that I prefer to avoid the situation.</p><p>It's not just about not taking advice, since I don't like giving it, either. Even when people ask me. I don't feel people should be giving advice on anything unless they're experts and fully understand the situation the other person is in..and they should never give advice without being asked for it. Anything else is rude and intrusive. I find it offensive. It's like saying to someone, "You're too stupid to figure this out on your own, so let me tell you what's best for you."</p><p>Maybe it sounds arrogant, but my IQ tests say I'm intelligent, so to assume I don't know how to fix a problem in my life is a pretty big assumption. If I don't have an answer and need help, I go to people who have the real answers.</p><p>When I was much younger, I was insecure enough to listen to what everyone else thought. So I gave up on music after being told I didn't stand a chance of making it, because so few people actually did. I believed people who had no knowledge of the industry, or even of music in general. I did the same with my writing for a while, too, until I realized those people had no clue what they were talking about.</p><p>Naysayers derailed my life plans for a very long time, because I allowed myself to believe them. But when I finally got to the point where I no longer cared what those people thought, I realized I needed to listen to the people who knew exactly what they were talking about. I listened to published authors who were friends of mine, and became a published author myself. My books have done better than I expected, considering what people used to tell me.</p><p>When I was finally ready to go back to music, I decided to take lessons from someone who knew what they were doing. I needed an expert. A heavy metal rock star. Which is exactly who I got. If you're a guitarist, Michael Angelo Batio probably needs no explanation or introduction. I asked him for private lessons, and since the first lesson worked out well, we've continued them since April. He's offered to solo on one of my songs, so that's going to be an awesome experience for me, and he's helped me so much with my confidence (not to mention my playing). Michael's an amazing teacher, and he's been super nice to me.</p><p>But that's the difference, isn't it? Getting advice from the people who know what they're doing can make all the difference. Especially if they encourage you. I've been lucky in recent years to have the right people in my life, encouraging me to follow through on my dreams.</p><p>My husband has been terrific from day one. He never doubts me, and that alone makes me feel like a success. He's never laughed at me, and most partners would have, I think, when their late-forties wife says she's starting a metal band. Instead he wanted to join. He's supported my dreams in every way.</p><p>My past catches up with me a lot, though. The trauma I endured as a child will never be gone. I was changed, inside and out, by physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. The latter lasting about nine years. The two former lasting two or three decades, depending on how you look at it. There is no way to forget all that. I recovered from the sexual abuse, despite being sensitive about people talking like sexual predators. I think most women are, though. Friends will unknowingly echo things without thinking about what they're saying, so I'm left feeling like I have to say something about it, and it puts a strain on my friendships.</p><p>Right now I'm going through situations with a number of people in my life, and I'm having a hard time coping with all that. It gets to be too much, so I drop out of socializing entirely. While I've been pretty verbal with my husband (with occasional exceptions) I haven't been speaking to anyone else. I don't make phone calls, no matter how much I love someone. Phones freak me out. I consider them a necessary evil when I have to yell at a company for lousy customer service. The only person I speak to, verbally, other than my husband, is Michael. It's surreal, I know.</p><p>Fear of a deadly pandemic does not help. My daughter works in a retirement home and I don't think any of them are taking enough precautions, so I bitch at her (in text) for that, knowing at some point she's going to stop speaking to me entirely, but also knowing I don't want her to die. I'd rather have her silence and anger, than have to bury her, if it means she remembers to wear a mask and take all the precautions.</p><p>Our Premier isn't doing anywhere near enough to stop the spread of the virus, because he's more interested in doing things for businesses than in preventing deaths, so it's left up to individuals to do what they know is right. The problem is, people aren't yet understanding where this virus is going, and some are being truly stupid about it. We are not going to get the vaccine in time to prevent a horror show, and because a vaccine is on the horizon, people think they can relax their guard. As our Prime Minister has said (and yes, I think he's a tool, too), a vaccine in a few months' time will not help you if you get the virus tomorrow. They're preventative measures, not cures.</p><p>A deadly pandemic is actually right up my alley when it comes to what we have to do to avoid getting sick. I'm not a germophobe by any means, but I'm definitely an enochlophobe (someone who fears large crowds). I like staying home, and happily remain there for months at a time. I mean that quite literally. I don't leave for very long stretches, and I've been like that for years. I go out only if I absolutely have to. Right now there is no compelling reason for me to leave our home. My husband goes to see his son (even though they remain physically distant and wear masks, they still hike together nearly every day), and if there's anything we need he picks it up. A doctor's appointment is pretty much my only reason for going anywhere, and those are done by phone mostly now.</p><p>The interesting thing about my life is that we recently bought, and moved into, an RV. There were a few reasons for this, but one of them was so that we could do a bit of travelling at some point without having to leave our house behind (the only way I would ever be willing to go anywhere). We still have residence in the form of apartment space, since you need that to keep your healthcare, driver's licence, and insurance, but the last thing we wanted was to be stuck in a crappy apartment in an even crappier city. We enjoy being able to live in the country, where the worst thing we hear is a cranky neighbour and howling dogs (wolves?) in the middle of the night. We don't get sirens and gunshots anymore, which were not good for my stress levels.</p><p>I'm going to have some YouTube videos out about the whole thing once I get them edited (takes me forever, seemingly, and I have tons of footage). I'll be putting some on my writing channel, with a focus on the whole off-grid living aspect to things as I put in solar panels and an incinerator toilet, etc. For my music channel (available <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1y6TPU3kyN4yTAJE9WttYA?view_as=subscriber" target="_blank">here</a>, though it doesn't have much on it yet) I'm going to be showing another side to RV living, where we get to travel to various recording studios in Canada, as well as Canadian guitar luthiers. I intend to record in the studios we visit, if there's a song we're currently working on, so there will be footage of the recording process, as well.</p><p>None of that will happen while the pandemic is raging, of course, but waiting for the vaccine gives me extra time to practice and build up my music following online in the meantime. It also gives me more time to prepare for the eventual day when I have to perform live (terrifying thought). I'm planning to do a bunch of livestreams on YouTube while I have no fanbase, just to get used to the concept. It should be interesting to see what goes wrong there. I haven't been getting along well with technology lately, and seem to have become something of a luddite; hopefully I can figure it all out without a fatally-embarrassing delay.</p><p>As for my writing, well, I have quite the ambitious project on the go, so you'll have to bear with me. One happy reviewer was hoping for another book showcasing a couple who appear in book three of my trilogy (Salvage Rights, it's called), but I was already planning another trilogy that connects to the first one so they will not be disappointed. The characters they liked will be prominently featured.</p><p>And that's not even the ambitious part. I've got another series in the works, and it encompasses thousands of years of human history, so the research has been complex. I have some help with that, since my husband has a degree in social anthropology. Not only does that mean he understands human culture, but he also understand how to do proper research. I've got a video interview planned with him that I'll be sharing on my writing channel, talking about the research we do.</p><p>If you're curious about the writing channel, you can find it <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1y6TPU3kyN4yTAJE9WttYA?view_as=subscriber" target="_blank">here</a>. It's about writing for a living, so I've got videos on there about publishing, editing, etc. I was supposed to have a tour of the Diefenbunker up a long time ago, but the pandemic has prevented that, too. I did provide a 360 tour someone else created, which is what I used to help me visualize the Diefenbunker while I was writing Salvage Rights. I can visualize my own mental creations just fine, but I needed the research to be accurate for a real place.</p><p>For now I'm going to keep practicing, and also get back to my writing routine. Hence this blog post. I've gotten out of the habit of writing all the time, but my ideas are starting to clutter up my brain again. It's time to get them written down. I haven't written much of anything other than e-mails since I published Salvage Rights in March (right after they announced a global pandemic...lovely timing, that). I do have a couple of chapters done for the newest books, so they're in the works.</p><p>The song I'm recording with Michael is called So They Say, and it's about my musical journey, so it's a very personal song on a variety of levels. It will be out pretty soon, so I'll let everyone know when that happens. I hope you're all staying healthy and safe. (And reading plenty of books & listening to lots of music, of course.) I'll talk to y'all again soon!</p>Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-47426981939338416902018-11-03T03:34:00.000-04:002018-11-03T03:34:55.170-04:00My Upside Down Life - Not Even KiddingThis is going to be a short post. I'm working on my third book right now, and wanted to post this so people know I'm still alive, but y'all are getting the bare-bones facts for now.<br />
<br />
In a very bizarre coincidence (that I don't buy at all), it looks like I may have the same auto-immune disease my ex has. It's not supposed to be contagious, yet I'm not the first woman to start showing symptoms about ten years later. It's called ankylosing spondylitis. Maybe I don't even have it, but my blood test shows I have some form of inflammatory arthritis, and it's not rheumatoid arthritis because my rheumatoid factor is normal. Every symptom I have is pointing toward it being a type of psoriatic arthritis. I've had very mild psoriasis in the past, so I didn't even go to a doctor for it. Just scratched at it for a while until it went away, the few times it bothered me. I certainly wouldn't have expected to be one of the few people who develop inflammatory arthritis from it. Ankylosing spondylitis is very rare. And it's even more rare in women, so I'm still holding onto the hope that I have something else. Something that isn't going to cost $72,000 a year to treat (yes, really). For now I'm on a lot of pain medications, in addition to high doses of cannabis.<br />
<br />
We ended up buying a dual-monitor arm system, with a laptop tray so that I can work in bed. It's taking me forever to figure out how to configure it, and everything has to be tightened into place. The end result, however, is me working on my back in bed. Nice life if you can get it, right? Well, I have somehow managed to snag my dream job. I can't really complain. The pain comes with it, mind you, but I'm making it work somehow.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNX6GiLEv7bXLjq5pus6R5_q3sce0x8U8wLxRg7QwfcFMumqx5zkkkqHVETGsLQvgcut_qG6A036EBo0SjcUIDtXy2JawF-097NBHMf_1l47VquBM_G-YPK3CNJeNnd0SJtGDLCr843aOa/s1600/Dual-MonitorArms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Dual-arm monitor supports for desk mounting" border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1346" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNX6GiLEv7bXLjq5pus6R5_q3sce0x8U8wLxRg7QwfcFMumqx5zkkkqHVETGsLQvgcut_qG6A036EBo0SjcUIDtXy2JawF-097NBHMf_1l47VquBM_G-YPK3CNJeNnd0SJtGDLCr843aOa/s320/Dual-MonitorArms.jpg" title="Dual-arm monitor supports for desk mounting" width="287" /></a></div>
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I have to say, I'll be eternally grateful for the love and support I get at home. Both my daughter and my fiancé are amazing people who make sure I'm fed and watered on a regular basis. They do stuff for me voluntarily, and always ask if I need anything. I feel like the luckiest woman alive despite everything going wrong with my body. It's a topsy-turvy world out there, though, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is decide we really like being upside down.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0Hamilton, ON, Canada43.2557206 -79.87110239999998442.515658099999996 -81.16199589999998 43.9957831 -78.580208899999988tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-42225610399042569592017-04-06T08:01:00.000-04:002017-04-06T08:01:03.801-04:00Air Guitar is a Thing of the Past, and the Loss of PepperWhen I was fourteen years old, I saw this really cool-looking guitar in a music store in Edmonton. I was living with my mother and step-father, which was sort of odd for me since I'd lived most of my life with my (very abusive) grandparents. (Don't let the semi-positive change fool you--they weren't the greatest people to be raised by either.) We spent a fair bit of time in this mall for the couple of years I actually spent living with them, and every trip found us visiting the music store. My step-father played guitar, though not particularly well, and we always ended up getting new instruments like a banjo, a harmonica, I'm pretty sure there was a tambourine in there somewhere, and then we got a really nice electronic piano. It was one of the first that were touch-sensitive like a real piano, and it played really nicely. Full set of keys, you name it. I had spent much of my younger years, from the age of four and up, taking piano lessons, and I had competed and performed in a wide variety of places, so pianos were nothing new to me. A guitar, though...that was what all the cool kids played.<br />
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Somehow I knew, when I saw that guitar hanging from the hooks, that my mother and step-father would be getting that for me for my fifteenth birthday. I saw my step-father ask to see it, and then he played around on it a little bit. Maybe it was the fact that it was a copy of a B.C. Rich Warlock, which has a very distinctive shape, that assured me he couldn't possibly be looking at it for his own collection. Case in point:<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPSMLD3AZf4iIIIS0QMXTnm0cHYtTgUZkCavg1T31A_jaqHQ6B7NiAj0ZdrcVAKcbaD3eCGXPD1JUljmhRGIwckZakImmf7yDJM7Tfds_ILqNjSfiFRnaKBkJdbvkruiR9E00YIfRt2JVU/s1600/BCRichWarlock_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPSMLD3AZf4iIIIS0QMXTnm0cHYtTgUZkCavg1T31A_jaqHQ6B7NiAj0ZdrcVAKcbaD3eCGXPD1JUljmhRGIwckZakImmf7yDJM7Tfds_ILqNjSfiFRnaKBkJdbvkruiR9E00YIfRt2JVU/s320/BCRichWarlock_.jpg" width="114" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">B.C. Rich Warlock</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As you can see, it's not exactly the kind of guitar that would appeal to conservative step-fathers. Mind you, the one he was looking at was a copy, with a very odd brand name, called Series A. It looked almost identical to the above image, except mine had a whammy bar...or tremolo bridge, if you want to use the technical name.<br />
<br />
And so, along comes my fifteenth birthday, and surprise surprise, I got the guitar as a gift. Now, it had been $200 in the store, so part of me was surprised they would spend that much money, and yet I still somehow knew that guitar was coming my way. I was ecstatic. I could finally feel like one of the cool kids. (I had been very unpopular in the small town I grew up in, but when I moved to Edmonton I was actually very popular, except the scars from being bullied could never allow me to believe I really was cool.)<br />
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Now, as wonderful as the moment of receiving the guitar was, it could not overcome the disappointment I felt when I couldn't play the damn thing well. I had played my step-father's electric guitar and done fairly well with it, but with this guitar I could do nothing about the horrendous rattle I got from pretty much every chord. I mean, I already have short fingers and small hands, so playing guitar is more challenging for me at the best of times. On the plus side, I've got pretty strong hands from playing piano and typing my whole life (I started writing on an electric typewriter when I was twelve, rather than four like when I started playing piano, but that's still a lot of my life). Having a guitar that rattled the way it did completely ruined any enjoyment I had when I learned all the notes for the melody guitar of Breaking the Law by Judas Priest (I had the official book, but that was really the only song I wanted to play, despite them being my favourite band).<br />
<br />
I thought things would get better when I bought myself a small Peavey amp, since less of the rattle would come through the amp. It helped a little, except that I always played at night, when I was awake, which meant keeping the volume down. No matter how much quieter an electric is when it's not plugged in, when you're parents are across the hall from you it's still too loud, so even listening on headphones wouldn't have worked for me.<br />
<br />
Eventually I just gave up on the whole thing and sold the guitar, not picking up another one for a few years. A friend of mine had a limited edition Gibson of some sort, however. After some time spent searching online, I think it might have been an M III, because that's the only body shape I've found that makes sense. More than twenty years ago that guitar was worth at least two grand, which tells you what it might cost today. The point is, I picked up her guitar and found out I actually had a little bit of skill. It was a huge shock to me. I sounded like I was playing real music. Damn!<br />
<br />
Not being able to afford several thousand dollars for a guitar, however, meant I just let the whole thing go for a couple of decades. Every once in a while someone would have a guitar and I would play on it a little bit, but I never quite got the enthusiasm back. Until a few weeks ago.<br />
<br />
My fiancé has at least five guitars, and ever since he moved in they've just been sitting there when he wasn't playing them. He handed me one of the acoustics one time, and I fiddled for an hour or so, but my nails were too long, and my fingertips got sore right away. Again I put it down and didn't touch another guitar for months. Finally I tried his Fender Strat, which wasn't bad at all, and then he had me try his Japanese-made SG (one of the ones with the thicker neck join so they don't break, among other improvements to the original SG). That's when I knew I could really pick it up again. Despite the fact that I preferred the body style and aesthetic of the Fender, I liked the action on the SG much more, and that's what really counts when you're trying really, really hard to play barre chords.<br />
<br />
As a side note, barre is spelled three different ways, and they're all correct when referring to guitar chords. Go figure. Bar, barr, and barre. Yet we wonder why people can't freakin' spell! Same word, same meaning, same pronunciation, but three different spellings. English is stupid.<br />
<br />
Anyhoo. Suddenly I was practicing for hours every single day for weeks. My fingers were damn near bleeding, and hitting something with my fingertips was pretty painful for a while. They're actually still sensitive, despite the rather impressive calluses I have now. The funny thing is, I still have a lot of surface numbness from my accident last summer on half of my left hand, so I'm not sure what made me decide to make my fingertips numb, too, but suddenly I could not stop playing the damn guitar.<br />
<br />
One of the first things I did was print off the sheet music for a David Bowie song that makes my guy emotional, because he thinks of me when he hears it. It's Wild is the Wind, and believe me, even after weeks of practicing it I still suck at it. The weird chords in that song are a serious pain in the ass for someone with small hands. From a C to a Cmaj9, and from an Am to an Am/G, are the two most vivid difficulties I've had with it. Every time my fiancé was out of the house, I was practicing that song. I have printed dozens of other songs, but I hid that one, hoping one day to surprise him.<br />
<br />
You see, I had decided I was going to record that song for him for our anniversary present, which is exactly what I did. I laid down a track for the so-called drums by using a program called Stagelight. Now, I can actually play the drums, but I don't happen to have any so I was stuck using fake ones. I just used a closed hat for a nice ticking sound in the background, so that I could keep time properly. Then I laid down a rhythm guitar track with just chord strums. I finally laid down a melody track with a fairly intense bit of picking throughout the song, but based strictly on the chord shapes. The last track was the vocals, and let me tell you, that was a serious pain in the ass. How the hell is someone supposed to sound good while singing off-key? Never mind the weird off-timing of the singing, and then the long stretches without any vocals at all, right in the middle of the verses and the chorus.<br />
<br />
Long story short, I finished the recording the afternoon of our anniversary, after finally having to kick my fiancé out of the house to get it done (such nice behaviour for our anniversary, I know). I wasn't even with him when he heard it the first time, because I sent it to him through Facebook as a PM. He did, however, react rather emotionally to it, so it was a gift that came off well. I played it for him later on my headphones so he could get the full gist of it, and again he was quite emotional about it. I guess you could say he liked it.<br />
<br />
Just in case, however, I had already made plans to take him out for dinner. I'm hopeful, not stupid. We had a really good time for our anniversary. What did he do for me, aside from simply being the most wonderful man I've ever known throughout our entire relationship? Well, he got us tickets for a fundraiser dinner that we thought was going to be on our anniversary, but turned out to be on another date. It's for a cafe we go to where you can buy buttons that people can use to pay for food if they can't afford a meal, or even just for coffee to keep warm in the winter. We used to go there together a lot when it was warmer and I wasn't in hibernation mode, and he goes there quite a bit on his own. As soon as I saw the event, I thought it would be a great thing for our anniversary. He bought the tickets on the spot. So, basically we'll have taken each other out for dinner two consecutive weekends. For me, especially in winter, leaving the house two weekends in a row is pretty much unheard of, but my guy is worth it.<br />
<br />
I haven't stopped playing guitar, even though one of my biggest incentives was learning to play well enough to record that song. I do take a day or two off now and then, but I keep printing off new songs to learn, which keeps my interest level high. There's no shortage of music I like, so I look forward to learning a lot of songs.<br />
<br />
My ADD really shows itself when I practice, though. I'll play a few licks of Metallica's One, veer off to Blink 182's Adam's Song (which, if you know both songs, you'll realize they are enough alike to be confusing when you're learning both at the same time, even though I don't drop the tuning for Adam's Song), play Dan Seals' Everything that Glitters for a bit, add Iron Maiden's Wasted Years, and then bounce back to my old stand-by, Judas Priest's Breaking the Law. There's some Dwight Yoakam in there, with his version of Suspicious Minds, a whole bunch of Martina McBride, etc. I have a collection of 59 songs that I like so far. Most of which I can play at least some of the fingering parts, if not all, and I can generally play all of the chords now. Barre chords still give me trouble, especially getting my fingers in the position to start, but I'm improving.<br />
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I still need a lot of improvement, but I've become damn stubborn about it. Okay, I'm always stubborn, but I wasn't specifically stubborn about learning to play guitar, as evidence by my quitting all those years ago. Now I put in an unbelievably amount of time practicing.<br />
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How's the book coming along, you ask? Uh, okay, that's kind of another story. Book three is on its third iteration, but it's not too bad. At least it's way better than it was, plot-wise, and for the third draft I stopped repeating myself and pontificating...I think. Part of the reason I'm writing this blog post, actually, is to get myself back in the habit of typing something out. Believe me, you really can regain momentum if you just start writing something...anything.<br />
<br />
I did have one major issue that was making it hard for me to write, understandably. One of my ferrets died very unexpectedly, and honestly it's still killing me. Not only am I grieving for him, despite it being nearly five months after his death, but I modeled one of the ferrets in my books after him. It was Pepper that we lost, on December 8th, and Pickle is his counterpart in the book. Having to write a scene with Pickle/Pepper in it was killing me. And there's the stuff I wrote while he was dying. I knew he was sick, and was waiting for the vet to be able to see him. I was trying to keep busy. That part will probably not make it into the book, because I started writing a new version entirely, but I can't bear to delete it. Normally I have no problem ridding myself of writing that I've rejected as being crap, but in this case I'm keeping it. Just like I'm keeping the small Pepsi bottle Pepper last chewed on as a fantastically noisy chew toy. I don't care if that makes me weird. I'm okay with being weird.<br />
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It's been tough getting back into it, despite the book itself being pretty damned exciting. I'm enthusiastic about it, but I'm a horrible procrastinator. Especially when something is painful for me to do. This book is now inextricably tied with the death of my much-loved ferret, and every moment of writing is something I kind of have to grit my teeth through, so I've been avoiding it. I'm about a quarter of the way done the final book in the trilogy. There will most likely be other books that will tie in to this series, but they will be separate trilogies on their own if I choose to go ahead with them. After all, a trilogy is meant to tell the full story arc. Tacking more books onto the end wouldn't work very well, since there shouldn't be any more loose ends to tie up after this one is done.<br />
<br />
Shortly after Pepper died, I also got very sick. I was down for about a month if I remember correctly. I spent days in a blurry state of mind, with almost no voice, a horribly sore throat, dizziness, etc. Not a lot of fun. I stayed away from my future step-son because I didn't want him getting sick. I would try to carry on a conversation with my fiancé or daughter, and it wouldn't last long before my voice gave out again. Sometimes uttering a single sentence was too much for me. I'm pretty sure it was strep throat, though I didn't bother going to the doctor for it. A lot of people I knew got really sick, too, and they sure as hell didn't catch it from me. Hard to catch something from someone in another country, and nearly all my friends are people I know on Facebook. I'm not the most social of people when it comes to the in-person thing. It's actually kind of a miracle I met my fiancé, but then we did meet on Facebook.<br />
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I'm not sure if I mentioned my accident in any of my blog posts either, though I know there haven't been many of them. When I mentioned not having much feeling in my left hand, there's a good reason. The reason? I'm a freaking klutz. I made a couple of over-easy eggs for my fiancé because he was hungry and he doesn't react well to the lowered blood sugar (he gets really absent-minded and confused, plus frustrated and irritated). I didn't want to send him off to the kitchen to cook something for himself in that state of mind, so I decided to make breakfast. The problem is, I was hungry, too, which means my hypoglycemia can decide to kick in rather fiercely and I start to freak out a bit. I was carrying the eggs back to our bedroom when my toe caught on a box. I am completely incapable of regaining my balance these days, and so I fell right into his plate of eggs. Scared the shit out of my daughter, who was also in the living room at the time, and my fiancé came tearing out of the bedroom to see what happened.<br />
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I didn't think it was that bad, though the plate had broken. Of course, I hadn't seen the blood yet, and the numbness in my hand seemed a normal reaction to a falling injury. It wouldn't be the first time a body part had gone temporarily numb on me like that. So, my fiancé helped me to the bedroom and got his first aid kit. After seeing the wound on my wrist, I felt more than a little sick. I knew then that there was nerve damage. We went to a clinic, I got some stitches, and then I was sent home after being told I'd be contacted by the plastic surgeon, who may or may not do surgery on me. About a month later I was getting surgery. Apparently the nerve was trying to regrow through a neuroma (a tumour caused by trauma in my case), which explained why I was getting an electrical zapping/zinging sensation whenever the injured area was touched. I had a partial cast on it for a couple of weeks. I was supposed to be able to type, though I really couldn't because it was covering the palm of my hand.<br />
<br />
I know, I know...all these excuses! It does seem like this book has been jinxed right from the beginning. Admittedly, I took quite a bit of time off when my fiancé and I started dating, and then moved in together. I figured, after putting out three books in less than a year (one being the anthology I edited and wrote short stories for), that I deserved a bit of a break. Apparently life thought I needed a much longer one. Life is really starting to piss me off. Now I'm obsessive about playing the guitar, and have gone back to playing a lot of computer games, and my sleep schedule is way out of whack.<br />
<br />
I also have to adjust for the fact that I'm sharing my bedroom/work space with someone (yes, that someone is my fiancé). I'm just not used to that. I was single for eight years. Happily single. I was not expecting to find someone so amazingly perfect for me. Yet, he basically works freelance as a paralegal, and he was driving for Uber (which wasn't really worth it financially), so he's around almost all the time. Wonderful for us as a couple, but not so great for my self-discipline when it comes to my writing. He would happily give me all the time in the world to write, but I miss him too damn much when he's gone. I mean, yesterday he was only gone while I was sleeping, and I still missed him! We're truly sickeningly sweet and affectionate with one another.<br />
<br />
However, the other day I finally started cracking a bit. As much as I love my time with him, I'm very much an isolationist. Even when I don't notice it, that need to be alone starts to build up. When I need my space, I really need my space. I turn into a bitch, where I have to protect him from me. What I need is actual, inviolable work space, where I absolutely cannot be bothered while I'm in that space. The moment someone walks in the bedroom, I'm distracted from what I'm doing. Or if I'm lying on the bed, just plotting out things for the book, he may not realize I'm actually working, and so he starts saying something to me. Believe me, he isn't the kind of guy who would knowingly do that, so he feels horrible about it, but without a sign attached to me that says, "I'm working," there's no way for him to know that's what I'm doing.<br />
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We'll figure it out. After all, writers are pretty creative, so if there's a solution out there, I'm sure I'll find it. I just need to think of it like I do in my books. A problem to be solved. Of course, holding up a sign while I'm doing that might be a good idea.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-33761122976170734452016-11-15T01:19:00.003-05:002016-11-15T01:19:34.296-05:00A Glowing Bride - Scottish Steampunk with an Avatar TwistThe more that happens in my life worth writing about, the less time I have to write about it. I know I've been totally quiet on all the political stuff, lately, and frankly it's because I'm disgusted with the whole thing. Instead I focused on personal stuff, which has kind of been necessary. You see, aside from getting involved with a new man last spring, we've got huge plans for ourselves and our relationship. Nothing other people aren't doing, but enough that it keeps us really busy. I've already talked about the fertility thing, and how we're going to a clinic. (Which, by the way, is going to cost us a fortune. Around $10,000 to $15,000 to harvest my eggs in a single batch. So, that's on hold until we have that kind of money. Apparently it's at least as expensive to do it in Canada, as it is in the US, if not more so.)<br />
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So, just to be different, my then-boyfriend-now-fiancé and I proposed to one another. We both got engagement rings, too. His is so big he'll have to put it on his right hand when we get to the 'I do' part, and I may have to do the same since I've got short fingers. Two rings on the same finger looks weird on me. Still I love my ring so much. It was supposed to be my wedding ring, but it got here before the one that's supposed to be my engagement ring, so we said to hell with it. We each have amethyst and silver in one of our rings, and rose gold and emerald in the other. I happen to be allergic to nickel, so I can't wear white or yellow gold, but I'm fine with rose gold and pure metals. The emeralds have to do with the fact that we happened to be only a few blocks apart, down Emerald Street in Hamilton, when we met. Yet we had no idea we were even in the same country when we really started talking. Of course, it turned out we'd spoken long before then, because we're part of the same political groups on Facebook.<br />
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Well, now the big stuff to deal with is a wedding day, hopefully on our anniversary, but the sad fact remains that we both have other entanglements to get out of, and my fiancé happens to be embroiled in something pretty nasty. I won't discuss that publicly, since it wouldn't be respectful of other people's privacy, but suffice it to say it prevents us setting a firm date.<br />
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However, we do have plans. Big plans. We already think we know where we're doing it. They're heritage buildings that they rent out for arts and culture events. It's really inexpensive to rent the place for almost two weeks, so we're going to have something like an art festival in the days surrounding the wedding. I was originally thinking of doing a writing seminar only, but then I realized we could really make the whole thing a lot of fun for everyone. I mean, if people come in from the US and different parts of Canada, I wanted it to be worth it for them. When my fiancé said we should have a ceremony, he was mostly thinking of us writing our own vows, and didn't realize that for me to have people at the wedding, they would have to be people from way out of town. I know very few local people. Four maybe, and that's including my ex and his girlfriend.<br />
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From the possibility of a writing seminar, it expanded into various crafts and such. I was thinking a Victorian photo shoot would go along well with a portion of the theme of our wedding, since Steampunk is very much of the Victorian flavour. I also thought it would be good to do proper photo shoots for authors, who will need good headshots for their writing careers. I'll probably hire a make-up artist and hair-stylist to make it all look great. I'll have to have discussions with the various professionals to find out what they'll charge for a day, or for individuals, especially since it will be a group deal, and then any member of the public can pay for either the seminar by itself, or the seminar with the photo shoot. I thought a mug-painting day would be good, too, where wedding guests can do two mugs - one for us as their wedding gift (instead of them trying to figure out what to give us, which is silly at our ages), and one for themselves. A painting class, flower arranging perhaps, where guests can do two arrangements if they like (one for the wedding, and one for themselves).<br />
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My dress is going to be very unique, though. I'll say that much. I'm planning to have parts of it glow. My fiancé and I were/are planning to make our own top hats, but I'm debating on an elven circlet or something. At the moment I don't have the time to deal with any of it, but I'm letting the ideas simmer. We'll have LED lights and electroluminescent stuff. An arbour will likely be present, because who doesn't want to get married under an archway??<br />
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We're going to have a blast, whatever we do, and so I'll be posting all about it here as we do it. You'll get pictures, of course. And speaking of which, here's our engagement ring shot!<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaenITB_RjYT_arazWTtm7H9ucDfifv0bI-J4WvZtIeRObKQiTeGJTz3k6fwrHz9ieEE7lbdq2X3gkjNi5N-ZP071WUTKwk97xGN76Ri7IJ8MQcEny1iTYDCeHgICkFMUIJSySR44K37pO/s1600/Our+Engagement+Rings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaenITB_RjYT_arazWTtm7H9ucDfifv0bI-J4WvZtIeRObKQiTeGJTz3k6fwrHz9ieEE7lbdq2X3gkjNi5N-ZP071WUTKwk97xGN76Ri7IJ8MQcEny1iTYDCeHgICkFMUIJSySR44K37pO/s320/Our+Engagement+Rings.jpg" width="176" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our Engagement</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
You can also partially see the lovely lightning bolt-shaped scar I have from my attempt to imitate Harry Potter. Okay, so I tripped and fell into a plate of eggs, the plate broke and severed a nerve, and then I had to have surgery on it to repair the nerve - yay me! Do I do good work or what?<br /><br />
I'm definitely happy to be having all this fun with wedding stuff, despite being too busy dealing with a dead laptop (a story for another time involving juice, that I'm just not ready to talk about yet), and trying to get a book written, while trying to get the podcast show back on track. The thing is, what really makes me happy is being so thoroughly loved, and being with someone I love just as thoroughly. We complement one another in so many ways. I'm ridiculously, madly, head-over-heels in love with him, and I have no doubt he feels exactly the same. It took until we hit our mid-life to find one another, but we finally did. None of this other stuff would matter without that, and I'm not at all stressed about dealing with that stuff either. It's not stressful when you know it's just something you'll have a blast with.<br />
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So many people go through life looking for the wrong things. They want someone to rescue them, or someone who has money. In truth, what we need is to be with someone where it wouldn't matter if we were living on the street. I know very well that I could sit snuggled up next to him on a sidewalk, and wouldn't even care. I don't have to have money or a house. I don't need cars. I didn't have to have fancy jewelry, though it's nice we were able to give one other rings that we both liked and picked out for ourselves. I just needed to know I was accepted for exactly who I am, and that we could sit down and talk to one another for hours on end. The chemistry doesn't hurt either! I'm just so blissfully content, and I have a hard time explaining how very right everything feels now.<br />
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Oh, and the Scottish part of all this? My baby wears a kilt in his family tartan...and he wears it <i>very </i>well! ;)Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-5045920752648350822016-07-23T23:20:00.001-04:002016-07-24T18:20:54.063-04:00An Even Bigger Change of Life - Time to ConfessI've been plotting and scheming lately, and it's time to fess up to what I'm doing. Partly because I'm bursting to talk about it, but also because I think it might be helpful to someone if I document this journey I've decided to undertake. I should really say that it's a journey <i>we've</i> decided to undertake, because it involves my boyfriend, too.<br />
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The plotting and scheming I refer to has nothing to do with writing, though I still do that of course. After all, I have a trilogy to finish. This is far more personal, however, and I'm sure many will judge me for my decision. Yet, everyone close to me has been cheering us on.<br />
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My boyfriend and I have decided to attempt to have a child - well, at least one, possibly two, depending on how things work out. Having a child at our ages (I'm 45 and he's 51) becomes complicated just by itself. On my end there's an additional hiccup. I've had my tubes tied since my early twenties. That combined with the age of my eggs makes things difficult, to say the least. There's little point in getting my tubes untied and trying to conceive by the usual means. We certainly have no problem practicing the maneuvers, but the odds of conception are practically nil. It would be a waste of time and money, most likely, and surgery is always a risk.<br />
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This leaves us with IVF, or in vitro fertilization. My eggs will need to be harvested, fertilized, and then implanted at the appropriate moment. From my understanding, this will cost us quite a few thousands of dollars. Are we still going to go through with it? Hell, yeah! For that matter, we're already spending a fair chunk of change just getting ready for it, and we haven't even had our first fertility appointment yet.<br />
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Let me explain.<br />
<br />
The older eggs get, the less healthy they are. However, until recently doctors believed that we were stuck with the eggs we were born with, and there was nothing we could do to improve on them. Or, if we allowed our egg health to decline there wasn't anything we could do to get it back. Now it's looking like there's a lot we can do to make things better, which includes certain vitamins and nutrients, as well as switching to a fully organic diet. Our food bill skyrocketed this month, and it's probably going to cost me a couple hundred dollars a month for vitamins and such, in addition to buying a water cooler so I can drink spring water rather than tap water with all that chlorine and fluoride in it. I've cut out caffeine, alcohol, and sugar, too. Plus I'm getting out and walking a fair bit.<br />
<br />
You're probably wondering if all these changes are making me crazy, and they're really not. I guess it's true what they say. If you want something badly enough, you'll do what you have to do to get it. I used to think of myself as a person who couldn't achieve my goals, and most of that had to do with my writing (and the fact that I'd never published a book). Now I realize I'm perfectly capable of attaining my dreams, seeing as I've got two books published and I know there are more on the way.<br />
<br />
How does my boyfriend feel about all of this? Actually, he's even looking forward to potentially crazy mood swings when I have to start injecting myself all the damn time. I was warning him about what I'd heard of the process, and he said he couldn't wait. I thought he was being sarcastic, but apparently he was serious and couldn't wait for the whole thing to happen. Huh. Well, colour me surprised. Honestly I've never known a man who was so into the idea of having kids - with me at any rate.<br />
<br />
So far we've gone to my family doctor, and she's referred us to her favourite fertility clinic. They called a few days ago and booked us in for the end of August. It's good timing, seeing as I only started trying to improve my egg health around the end of June, and apparently your egg cycle needs at least 90 days of healthy living, though the full egg-production cycle is 150 days, I believe. By the time we've both been tested for our potential fertility, and they can get me started on the constant injections, it should be a good 90 days of proper nutrition and supplementation.<br />
<br />
I haven't yet started the prenatal vitamins, which they recommend as part of the preconception process now, but I'll start that later this week. I just want to keep my folic acid down a bit. They've been doing studies that indicate too much folic acid may be part of what causes autism (through Johns-Hopkins, so I trust the source, though it's not yet peer-reviewed). I'm going to take only half the prenatal vitamins they recommend, and also choose the lowest level of folic acid I can find. I'll still be supplementing with it, in order to prevent spina bifida and other issues, but I don't want to overdo it.<br />
<br />
One issue I currently have is the pain medication I'm on for my hips. I've cut back, partly because I had a shot of something called Visco put directly into my left hip joint. I still have to have the other hip done, but my pain has been lowered enough that I can cut back on Gabapentin and Tylenol 3s. The opiates are the worst thing, because they can kill your ovulation, so I'm down to 1.5 to 2 pills a day of those. Gabapentin is mostly an issue once you're pregnant, to the best of my knowledge, though I'm going to do more research on that. I was taking 4 Tylenol 3s a day, so I've cut it to just under a half (on average).<br />
<br />
I've lost weight since my boyfriend and I got together, which helps with my hip pain, of course, and allows me to be even more active. Eating nothing but healthy food is helping me lose additional weight. Being overweight affects ovulation as well, and since the plan is for hyper-ovulation so they can extract a bunch of eggs at once, I really need to make sure I'm ovulating.<br />
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I'm also avoiding things called xenoestrogens. They're in damn near everything, including hand lotion, nail polish, shampoo, body wash, lipstick, etc. And the kicker is that you absorb 100% of what goes on your skin, as opposed to only about 10% of any xenoestrogens you might ingest by mouth. Your organs actually filter out 80% to 90% of what you might get orally, but they can't do anything to filter out what your skin absorbs.<br />
<br />
What do they do that's so bad? Well, they act like estrogen, and too much estrogen makes you infertile. It can cause things like micropenis in boys - I'm assuming it's when women are exposed to it during pregnancy, since the penis is already formed when the baby comes out, but it could also impact the eggs in a way that causes it. I'm not certain of my facts there, but I'd just as soon avoid having to deal with that issue with my potential son. Then you get things like breast growth in men (who use products that have xenoestrogens in them), and lowered testosterone.<br />
<br />
In order for women to be fertile, and for proper implantation to occur as well, it's progesterone that they need. Too much estrogen is pretty bad. I'm actually taking hormone supplements to regulate estrogen levels, and that's correcting any issues I've had with my periods, too. I never really noticed it because my periods were never that bad, but I have less cramping and other symptoms usually synonymous with PMS. Thankfully I've never been particularly moody with PMS either, though I certainly get plenty moody when some guy asks me if I'm PMS-ing just because he's done something to piss me off.<br />
<br />
Speaking of periods, though, I've switched to organic cotton tampons, seeing as the other ones are made with cotton that's been sprayed with oodles of pesticides. It never even occurred to me before that it would be an issue, but apparently cotton is one of the most heavily sprayed crops, and it's not a good idea to have that stuff anywhere near your nethers. Those tissues are highly absorbent, and pesticides can also act as xenoestrogens. Yippee.<br />
<br />
One thing I haven't done is switch my wardrobe to safe fabrics. I figure any cotton stuff I buy to wear will, or has been, washed umpteen zillion times. Nylons and polyesters aren't good in general, though, so I think I'll work on at least using natural fabrics where anything bad can be washed out. I tried hunting down the organic cotton underwear, but there was a sizing chart issue and so I had no idea what size to order. Plus my weight loss has changed my underwear size.<br />
<br />
Thankfully I didn't have a lot of bad habits that needed to be broken. I don't smoke and I don't take illicit drugs - not even pot for pain simply because it doesn't work for me, and it apparently has an effect on fertility, particularly in women. I drank a bit of alcohol once every couple of years until pretty recently. When my boyfriend and I got together we would have a beer or two when we went out, which was pretty frequent at first, but I started to go back to my old habit of not drinking even before I started on this fertility kick.<br />
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My diet was the worst thing. Too much sugar and too many preservatives. Granted, I wasn't going for fast food at all. The worst I had there was Subway. Now everything has changed. I drink black, decaf, organic coffee. I drink lots more water, and I also drink herbal tea sweetened with organic honey (or whatever the pure, unpasteurized stuff is called). I'm rather shocked at how well I'm doing. I'm taking Maca Root capsules, which are supposed to be amazing for fertility, but I still have to add a few other supplements, like CoQ10, the aforementioned prenatal vitamins, and Royal Jelly.<br />
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I probably sound like a nut with all this, but I'm looking at very bleak odds here. I have to produce not only a high number of eggs, but ones that are as healthy as possible. I also have to make sure my uterus is healthy. Good times. Luckily I'm not the type that gets stressed out easily, because that can be a huge factor in fertility issues. My boyfriend and I have both procreated before, so if we're infertile it'll be a recent development rather than a lifelong issue, so making healthy choices could make all the difference.<br />
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My boyfriend is also pretty familiar with this whole thing, seeing as he was a sperm donor before his son was born. He was extremely fertile in that respect, so I've got very high hopes that this will work out. So long as there is a batch of healthy eggs (or embryos) to be used, a woman can carry a successful pregnancy well after menopause. According to my doctor at my last physical, I'm nowhere near menopause. I guess the average age in Canada is around 51 or 52, and I've shown no signs of perimenopause. Everything is as regular as can be.<br />
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You might wonder, if I wanted more children, why I had my tubes tied - and especially at such a young age (I had just turned 22). Well, there are a few reasons. First, my doctor at the time recommended it. I couldn't take the pill, and an IUD made me bleed for two and a half months. The only other options for birth control back then were extremely inconvenient for anyone in a monogamous relationship. I'd had a total of three miscarriages by then (one before my daughter was born and two after), and I didn't want to keep going through that. It turned out to have something to do with the boyfriend I had at the time, rather than my own physiology, so I wasn't happy that I'd 'sterilized' myself for no good reason. In retrospect I think the doctor was tired of seeing the plethora of young women getting knocked up so they could go on welfare or 'trap' some young man into taking care of them. I could be wrong, but it's the impression I have.<br />
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Strangely, the people I thought who would be so against us doing this, have been very supportive and encouraging. We've been told that we're exactly the kind of people who <i>should</i> be having children, so I feel pretty good about that. Even my adult daughter seems pretty happy and excited about it. We were out shopping one day, and she suggested we go look at baby stuff. Apparently any children my boyfriend and I have now will be spoiled rotten, because my daughter was looking at all these outfits and saying she was going to buy this, that, or the other thing for 'the kid.'<br />
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I'm no better in my level of excitement or prematurity. I've already looked at cribs and stuff. We've discussed names we like, and pretty much all the decisions parents have to make when a baby is born, like breast feeding, circumcision, religion, vaccinations, you name it. We got all the deal-breakers out of the way (or non-starters as my boyfriend calls them), seeing as there wasn't much point spending thousands of dollars to do this if we couldn't agree on some of the more important issues. We've also discussed what to do if there are congenital issues. In one way it's lucky we're going through IVF, because they can actually check if an embryo is healthy before implantation. That doesn't rule out all issues, of course, so we may be faced with tough choices later, but the fact is he's already told me he would never interfere in my right to choose. Of course, I can't imagine being with a man who would.<br />
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I did tell him any kids we have would have his last name. I have no interest in carrying on my own last name, with the exception of continuing to use it myself because it's who I am now (and my name has been changed far too many times - something I wrote about in a previous post). He thinks kids should have their father's last name, but not for the reasons you would think. He believes it engenders a deeper sense of responsibility in the father, if his children carry his last name - and some men need that reminder. He doesn't. I already know what kind of father he is, even under less than ideal circumstances, so I have no fears there. If I did I wouldn't have even considered this.<br />
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How much is this going to cost? No idea at this point. In the US an egg harvesting cycle would cost about $10,000, and I'm okay with that. Canada's a bit different, however. At least some portions of it will be covered by our healthcare, such as our initial appointment. In fact, Ontario Healthcare actually covers fertility treatments now, but there's a 3-year waiting list and we can't afford to wait that long at our age, so we'll be paying for anything that isn't generally covered by our regular insurance. As we go through all this I'll keep track of it and talk about it more when I know what's covered and what's not.<br />
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What will we do if my eggs (or his sperm) don't work out? Well, nothing. Call me selfish or picky, but the whole point to this is for us to have our own child - together. There are donor eggs and donor sperm out there, but neither of us is interested in that at this point, and I doubt we will be. There's always the possibility of adoption if this doesn't work out, but we haven't discussed that yet. I don't even know if they allow people our age to adopt.<br />
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Yes, we know how old we'll be when our child(ren) reaches adulthood. And, yes, we're both looking after our health to make sure we're alive as our kids grow. The fact is, no one knows whether or not they're going to survive to see their children grow, and we'll both be well under the average ages when men and women in Canada die. We're not dealing with alcoholism, drug addiction, or other risky behaviours that will shorten our lifespans.<br />
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The fact is, I've been waiting my whole life to meet the man I wanted to have more children with. The one where I could imagine him being a full partner and truly sharing the whole experience, as well as the responsibilities. Now I have, and I'm not letting even a small chance of experiencing that slip from my grasp.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-84633766602667261392016-07-15T22:04:00.000-04:002016-07-15T23:04:21.806-04:00A Change of Life, Just Not That OneI'll admit that I had become completely cynical about my chances of finding the right person to share my life with. I was considering getting back into the dating world, but I was also planning to wait until after the third book in my trilogy was published. After all, I didn't feel like I had the time to spend on vetting all the candidates one tends to find on online dating sites. So, I hadn't bothered to create a profile anywhere.<br />
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Funnily enough it turned out that I'd already met the man of my dreams, and it was more than a year ago now. We had political interests in common, so we were both members of a certain Facebook group. We're also both actual members of the Green Party, so that was a weird kind of synchronicity, among other things. With all our commonalities, however, we were more than a little surprised to find out we not only lived in the same city, but we were only a few blocks apart. Go figure.<br />
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Just when you think life isn't going to give you the one thing you've always looked really hard for, it can suddenly seem like it's throwing you a surprise party with all the perfect gifts.<br />
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When I was awake and aware I never felt lonely, but I knew that some part of me was. I used to have these dreams where I would be held by a specific man, who made me feel truly loved. I'd wake up feeling so ridiculously content, and I would close my eyes at different points throughout the day to hold onto that feeling, picturing it in my mind. Nearly four months ago I finally discovered what that felt like in real life. All previous relationships paled in comparison, and I realized that if I'd truly know what this felt like, I would never have settled for what I had before. I would have known the real deal.<br />
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Nobody is perfect, but sometimes you find someone who is absolutely perfect for who you are. They fit with you somehow. All the things that you're insecure about, and that you've been told are fatal flaws, suddenly they're things that are cherished by another person. Don't get me wrong - we weren't all sunshine and roses about who we were, pretending to be something different. We were both almost brutally honest about ourselves. I was pretty enthusiastic about telling him I swore like a drunken sailor, cracked every joint in my body, and the only thing domestic about my habits is the fact that I'm potty-trained.<br />
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For his part, when we started private messaging, he bluntly asked me if I was single, and said he needed to know because he was certainly happy to be friends with me, but he would be sitting there wondering the whole time if I was available. It made me smile, I can tell ya. And it was a first for me. After all, we met on Facebook rather than a dating site. On a dating site you're assuming the person you're talking to is single (though there are plenty who are trolling for a side piece, too). I'd never had a guy have the courage to be so blunt about his interest in me on there. Of course, he was pretty blunt about a lot of other things, too, like wanting to talk to me, see me, kiss me, you name it. And he had the confidence and courage to follow through on it. He still does, and it's something I find endlessly fascinating and attractive about him. Especially since a lot of guys seem pretty intimidated by me.<br />
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Of course, explosive chemistry helps. I'm not giving details, but I will say that time stands still when he kisses me. There's a Zen-like calm that comes over me when we're together. I've only been truly mad at him once, and from what I can tell I was being stupid. However, all he had to do was touch me and I was lost (as was the anger, though I tried to fight that). There's a magic in it, and I've never felt it before. Any time in the past when I've been mad at a guy, they've been mad at me, too, and so the last thing they were interested in was making me feel better. Yet, my boyfriend has got to be the most selfless person I've ever known. He can (and does) feel empathy even toward a person who should be his most bitter enemy. I've seen examples of it time and time again. Honestly, we need more people like him in the world. He just truly cares about people. He talks to them on the street, homeless or otherwise, he buys strange kids a meal, he stops to help people who have been involved in car accidents, he's politically involved, and he stands up for women online when men start acting like misogynistic jerks.<br />
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He's also the best father I've ever seen. He's been involved in his child's life from the moment of birth, and even against adversity he's made sure he remained a major part of his child's life. It makes me wish I was ten years younger so I could easily have a couple of kids with him. Not that it's impossible even now, of course, but the odds are against it.<br />
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We've both had our share of bad luck and bad choices when it came to past relationships, so you would think we'd be a lot more leery of moving forward with things, but we were pretty much living together within a week or two of starting to date. People thought we didn't know each other, even though we did. In truth I've never known anyone so well in my life. My own experiences kept my eyes open, and not just for suspicious behaviour, but also for the evidence that backed up everything I was being told. Fate stepped in, over and over, to show me that he was everything he said he was. My one instance of anger with him was all the more stupid because I've been given constant proof of his character. Yeah, I felt like an idiot...and well I should.<br />
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Have we talked about taking things to the next level? Well, in an oblique sort of way. Neither of us are against the idea of getting married. I just have one caveat there. It's gotta be a 'hell, yeah' kind of thing on his part. I mean, it would definitely be a 'hell, yeah' for me, but I won't do it if he doesn't feel like that, too. After all, I was told in a previous relationship that I'd dragged the guy into it (despite him being the one to propose). It was a month after the wedding, and that was the end of our marriage in that very moment. For me, anyway. I never felt the same way after that, even though I tried to keep going. My heart just wasn't in it anymore. I couldn't even bring myself to care enough to fight with him after that. I became rigidly logical and cold-hearted whenever he tried to fight with me. It was painful enough for me then, but if I had to go through that with my current guy I don't know if I'd survive that kind of heartbreak. He isn't the kind of guy who would say something like that, but without the 'hell, yeah' part of the deal, he might as well be feeling it.<br />
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Still, he feels more like a husband to me than any man from my past, with or without the marriage certificate. When I talk about him, or even think about him, I have to actively stop myself from calling him that. I'd have to say it's because we work so well together in everything we do. You know those things you try to do with someone that usually lead to fighting? Like hanging wallpaper, fixing things, etc. Well, we can do those things and just be happy to be together. We have fun with it, because we always have fun together, and we genuinely like each other. We enjoy talking about pretty much anything - though he's admittedly a bit attention-deficit, so I find myself repeating things, but then I have to ask people to do the same with my hearing being so crappy.<br />
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Probably the funniest part of all of this is how we started out being so logical about love. We both agreed that it took about two years to really get to know someone, and until then you couldn't truly say you loved them. Then I told him on our first date that he was going to fall madly in love with me. Go figure. Of course, my barometer for knowing if I love someone is a pretty morbid one. I try to imagine how I would feel if they died, and whether or not it would devastate me. Within the week I told him he'd smashed my barometer. I couldn't imagine my life without him.<br />
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So, you see, there's a reason I've gotten so far behind on blog posts and other writing projects. I don't blame him, of course. He's perfectly willing to give me the space I need to get my writing done. I just haven't been able to tear myself away from him. A first for me. I've always managed to work and do what was necessary before. Thankfully I'd already published book two of my trilogy when we started getting all crazy in love. I had a bit of breathing space. Or should I be calling it 'breathless' space, because that's how he leaves me.<br />
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It took me until I was 44 years old to find the man that was right for me. I've made a lot of mistakes in the past, and not just with my choices. I've also made mistakes with my behaviour within those choices. I know very well that I had my share of the blame to shoulder, and I needed to learn from all that in order to be where I am right now. It's tempting to wish we could have met ten or twenty years ago, where we could have saved ourselves the heartache we've both been through, but that might have been a disaster for us. We needed to be who we are right now, in order for things to work as well as they do. I needed a certain maturation. Our experiences form us, and there's no regretting those experiences when they brought us to this point. We each have offspring we might never have had, and we would never have wanted to miss out on them.<br />
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I guess the point is this. No matter how crappy things can seem, they can change in a heartbeat. I learned that lesson a long time ago, and it's something I keep trying to share with people who are going through hard times. I almost gave up on finding someone I could be happy with. I'd thought about dating, but I had no faith I'd find anyone who would put up with my foibles, much less someone I was willing to tolerate. And I certainly held no hope I'd find the exact person who was everything I ever needed and wanted. He feels the same. I can only hope he keeps feeling that way, and hope is no longer in short supply for me. Of course, it helped that my ferrets were all over him like he was wearing a meat suit, and he likes doing dishes.<br />
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The best part? I feel more free with him than I ever felt when I was single.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-53605957369074032502015-12-22T15:56:00.000-05:002015-12-22T15:57:00.186-05:00It Might Hurt, but I Refuse to Toughen UpIt's been more than three weeks since I've written anything, other than an e-mail to a friend and some private messaging on Facebook. Ever since I finished off my word count for National Novel Writing Month (also known as NaNoWriMo...or insanity) on November 30th, I haven't felt the slightest urge to write a single thing. There was a writing contest I had intended to enter for The Prepper Journal, but I could not bring myself to even seriously contemplate a topic. Maybe I'll send them something at a later date and ask if they're interested in publishing it, but I desperately needed to take a step back from working for a little while. Luckily it coincided with the Christmas break for the show I produce, because I've been a completely lazy git for the last three weeks.<br />
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Not that I can blame myself for it. Most people don't write a book in the course of less than a month, edit it in three weeks, and then write half of another book, while overlapping the editing of the first book. For two and a half months I worked every single day, usually from the time I woke up, until I finally fell asleep about twenty hours later. I'd take the odd break here and there, usually to binge-watch the X-Files with my daughter (we just finished season five and watched the movie a couple of days ago), but mostly I worked. Not that it felt like work at the time, because I was enjoying the hell out of it, but in reality I was busting my butt.<br />
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The problem didn't really come until after my book was published and I started receiving negative reviews. The first couple were great, and I consider the majority of them to be positive. However, the negative ones were pretty bad, and in some cases downright rude or wrong. Believe me when I tell you that writers are very sensitive to criticism, though we're told we just have to suck it up and move on. It's not anywhere near as easy as it sounds. Even when a review is dead wrong (to the point where you believe they didn't even read the book, or they skipped half of it), it gets in your head and plays a tune on you whenever your brain gets a little too quiet. I tend to have a lot of quiet time, so my brain poked fun at me quite a bit.<br />
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So, since the end of November I've been having a pity party along with my burn-out. In addition to that I've had to suppress my irritation with people. I mean, unless you're stupid you don't respond to the reviews on Amazon. It's bad form, for one thing. For another, it's a no-win situation. Not only is it rude to the person who left the review, but then other people start thinking you're a jerk. For that reason I'm not going to talk about specifics even in my blog. People should be allowed to review. I do think Amazon should consider their review policy, such as disqualifying reviews from people who haven't bought a product, or who are blatantly attacking or bullying someone, but other than that people have to be allowed to express their opinions.<br />
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I just can't imagine expressing my opinion in such a rude fashion as some people do. Maybe it's because I'm Canadian, and the whole mud-slinging thing is anathema to me, but there are rude Canadians, too, so I don't think that's entirely the issue. I think it's simply a change in how people behave when they're allowed to be anonymous. There's an expression I like that applies to this.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching." ~ John Wooden</span></i></b></blockquote>
We've all seen what's been happening online these days, particularly when it comes to inflammatory issues. Women are subjected to rape and death threats online, just for stating an opinion. Muslims are seeing hateful rhetoric in a constant barrage. Gun-control advocates are getting threats that they'll be shot by 'responsible gun owners.' If these people were sitting face-to-face, in most cases the majority of their words would not pass their lips, and that comes from all sides of the arguments. It doesn't matter if a person is a liberal or a conservative, a man or a woman, a Christian or a Muslim. We're all guilty of it.<br />
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When it comes to my personal situation, I tried to make myself feel better by looking at reviews other authors had received, and it actually made me feel worse. Sure, I felt like I was in pretty good company. Well-known authors (such as Nora Roberts, Karin Slaughter, and J. K. Rowling), were subjected to major abuse in their Amazon reviews. I started seeing that the reviewers who spoke like that had some issues. Often they were extremely hateful. Teenagers were leaving nasty reviews about the Harry Potter series, and I have to wonder how they even have access to leave comments. In order to review an item you have to have made a purchase on Amazon, which means you must have a credit card of some sort. In most cases that would mean it's the parents' accounts, and yet the parents are okay with their kids leaving those sorts of remarks. It doesn't bode well for the future of society.<br />
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I honestly thought I would feel better about my own bad reviews if I was in good company. I mean, hey, if it can happen to some of the best (or even most popular, whether or not you agree they're the best), then it should be okay that it happened to me, too. Instead I feel scared by it. I'm scared of what we're turning into when it becomes okay to belittle people online. I know that there are people that get off on hurting others. I know there are trolls and bullies. I know some people try to feel better about themselves by showing off and criticizing other people for doing something they themselves cannot do. I see it all the time on Facebook. I'm a member of some movie groups for some reason, and I see people panning movies left, right and centre, when I sit there and think, "I'd like to see you do better!" If they can't do it themselves, then at least they can cut down someone who has already done it, in other words.<br />
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That's the real test, though, isn't it? A friend of mine reminded me of that saying, "Those who can, do, and those who can't, teach," and said he didn't think that was a fair thing to say. I agree completely. You can't teach something if you don't know how to do it. He said those who couldn't would just criticise those who do, and again I agree. But I'm still very worried about society. There's a damn good reason I don't leave the house much. When people think it's okay to issue threats over books or articles, there's a serious breakdown in our humanity. People are shooting people over idiotic things. Young men think they have a right to kill a bunch of people because young girls won't send them naked pictures of themselves. The sense of entitlement on this planet is growing all out of proportion with what we actually deserve.<br />
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Part of me is saying that I should just toughen up and get on with my life, and the other part of me is saying that's entirely the wrong thing to do. Why should I toughen up? Why should I be any less sensitive than I am? The real question is, why should I change because of what other people are saying and doing? Yes, I will have to suffer if I don't toughen up, but I also won't lose the part of myself that refuses to become desensitized to aggression and violence - and that's what it boils down to. People are being rude and angry toward other people, for no good reason. They're taking out their own insecurities on others, and we have to stop tolerating it.<br />
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I don't believe in all the old-school manners and etiquette, but by the same token we should treat one another with respect. Even when another person has shown they don't really deserve it, we do not need to sink to that level. We become that other person if we do. I've made it a habit the last few months to simply stop arguing with people the moment they become rude. I refer to one-on-one encounters online. If a person calls me a name I tell them I'm done with the conversation for that reason, and then I actually leave the conversation. I don't care what they say after that, because the name-calling just invalidated their argument for me. A debate is fine. Even an argument can be fine. When you step across the line to abuse, I'm done with it. And I wish more people did the same. It might teach these rude people that it's not socially acceptable to do what they're doing.<br />
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Of course, far too many people thrive on drama, and often cause it. It's like those people who like to gossip. I can't understand why they have so much of an interest in someone else and how they live their life. It makes no sense to me. And yet they sit there and talk about another human being in the worst possible way. It might sound terrible to say, but I honestly don't have that much concern for what other people are doing, so long as they're not hurting anyone. I'm more than happy living in my own little world, while everyone else lives in theirs. I like my solitude. The only people I make an effort with, to find out what's going on in their lives, are the people I love. Other than that, I can't be bothered. I've got too many other things in my life to do, that I find far more interesting.<br />
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Today I finally wrote an article for a friend of mine who asked me to contribute to his online magazine about a month ago. I wrote about dealing with criticism, because it was what I've had on my mind for some time, and his site is about happiness and mental health. I've worked through a lot of it, though I still get somewhat irritated when I stew about it too much. In my case I can't resolve the criticism with a confrontation, so I have to vent in other ways - like this blog post.<br />
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I don't want to be a whiner or a wimp, but I also don't want to lose touch with my honest feelings. I've distanced myself from people in many ways, in order to prevent loss of emotion on my part. It may sound counter-intuitive, but I find too much interaction with people I don't know can result in me shutting down my emotions just to get through it. I did it when I worked in the corporate world, and I worked too hard as a teenager to regain my emotions (after a childhood of abuse) to lose them now because of strangers.<br />
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So, instead of toughening up I've examined the criticisms, learned what I could from them, determined what parts might be accurate, and then tried to get a handle on why people would feel the need to behave in such a fashion. Allowing myself to understand their motivation has been a big help. Any disparaging remarks will hurt, but knowing why they were made makes them easier to deal with. And of course, just because someone has an opinion, doesn't mean they're right.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-9947976511487484522015-11-20T00:53:00.000-05:002015-11-20T00:53:23.809-05:00Things I've Learned About Indie Publishing and Promo So FarIt occurred to me, while I was actually responsibly working on my next novel (and adding to my <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo </a>word count), that maybe people were looking for an update on how things were going with my first novel, and possibly looking for some tips to help them. While I have learned a great deal, it's been less than a week since the release so nothing is a hard-and-fast truth when it comes to anything that's happened since then. I only really know what has happened so far <i>for me</i>, and what I learned about the technical aspects of publishing through Createspace and Kindle Desktop Published (or KDP as it's usually referred to).<br />
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I was admittedly paranoid and anal about the technical aspects of submitting files to Createspace, because so many people seemed to be confused about it. Then there were all those fear-inducing articles written on a competing company's site, talking about how terrible it was to publish through them. They are, of course, biased, because they offer the same services, and it was their smear campaign that turned me off using their services. I'm Canadian, and don't hold much with those sorts of business practices. Doesn't seem very professional, and that's my same moral basis for not naming the company that does it. If you ever look into self-publishing you'll find it, I'm sure.<br />
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There were no complications with submitting my files, however, so I don't have a clue why people had a hard time with it, but I am a former accountant and administrator so I tend to be detail-oriented. Not everyone is geared that way. And believe me, getting lost in details is not always a positive thing, so if you're not like that you can feel grateful for it. When I ordered proofs (I got five of them...just because), the books were put together fine. No two books will ever be identical, particularly in self-publishing, because this isn't precision German engineering we're talking about. It's a book. Even the best traditional publishers have variations in individual books. Some so bad that they have to be returned. Happily that was not my experience with Createspace.<br />
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The Kindle segment was much easier. I chose to start with Createspace, because then it can be put through to Kindle after the main part is done, and I wanted to be absolutely certain that people would see both options on the same page when they saw the listing on Amazon. When it comes to royalties there isn't much difference in my case. I only get eighty cents more for the paperback than I do for the Kindle, and so far only one paperback was ordered. Granted, I've got a bunch of people asking for signed copies, which means plenty of orders to come. I just haven't tallied them.<br />
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The big surprise for me was the lending library. I checked off the box to participate in that with a sort of shrug. I didn't think it would be a big part of my royalties, but I'm really, really glad I did it now. The last time I checked, authors were getting paid approximately $0.0058 per page. When you're having thousands of pages read per day, it can really add up. In fact, I will probably make more money from that than I will from purchases, and people who subscribe to the service get to read the book for no extra cost above their monthly fee. More readers means a better chance someone will leave a review, and from what I'm seeing it actually impacts my book's ranking on Amazon. I almost cracked the top 100 (in a specific genre, not the main list) yesterday and today, which was pretty exciting for me. Once you manage to do that, apparently Amazon starts promoting your book for you, so I'm doing what I can to make that happen.<br />
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Being pretty much broke, I haven't spent a lot of money on promo, though I have found some really great bargains there, including sites that include and promote your book for free because they want to get books out to their readers. One such site is <a href="http://authorsdb.com/" target="_blank">AUTHORSdb</a>, and another is <a href="http://www.iauthor.uk.com/" target="_blank">iauthor</a>. I mean, when you're broke you sometimes have to spend more time on promotion than you would like, if you want to get your book out there, but it's worth it if you ever want to <i>not</i> be broke. Struggling for art is fine, but who actually wants to if they don't have to? I've got a promo through <a href="http://sweetfreebooks.com/advertise/" target="_blank">SweetFreeBooks </a>coming out on November 29th (it'll be free for a day!!) and they only charge $5 right now. Your book either has to be 99 cents or free, but free promos can really get your ranking up if people know about them. Sure there's no return on investment on the day the promo runs, but the ROI after-the-fact can be huge according to every other author I've spoken to or read.<br />
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Other free promo ideas include <a href="http://www.ereaderiq.com/authors/submit/" target="_blank">eReaderIQ</a>, <a href="http://contentmo.com/submit-your-free-ebook-promo/" target="_blank">Content Mo</a>, <a href="http://support.hotzippy.net/?page_id=585" target="_blank">Hot Zippy</a>, <a href="http://beezeebooks.com/book-promotion/" target="_blank">BeeZeeBooks</a>, <a href="http://authors.choosybookworm.com/" target="_blank">Choosy Bookworm</a>, <a href="http://www.peoplereads.com/list-your-ebook" target="_blank">PeopleReads</a>, <a href="http://www.readfree.ly/submityourfreebook/" target="_blank">ReadFree.ly</a>, and <a href="http://booktastik.com/promote-your-own-competitions-giveaways/" target="_blank">Booktastik</a>. A lot of those are for when you're promoting a giveaway or contest, but well worth it if you're trying to boost your numbers with a free Kindle deal.<br />
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Another suggestion, which I was reminded of by my business partner and host of the show I produce, is to do radio shows and podcasts. Now, I'm lucky because I've already been able to do one of those without even asking, because Steve Kovacs chose to have me come on and talk about my novels, along with the very real possibilities behind it that were the inspiration for writing it. We don't normally have fiction authors on the show, though we've had some, so I didn't want to change the format just to be able to plug my book. He was nice enough to suggest an hour-long show, but I said it wouldn't work. Hey, I'm Canadian. I can't help it.<br />
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If you decide you're up for interviews, a good option is to use Radio Guest List to find potential shows. You can sign up for their <a href="http://www.radioguestlist.com/radio-talk-show-guests.html" target="_blank">free e-mail</a> that's meant for guests, or you can choose to go directly to <a href="http://www.radioguestlist.com/blog_index.html" target="_blank">their listings</a> where you'll get a lot more possibilities than what they send out to you. I know most writers are probably introverts, and it may not be easy to do interviews, but the majority of the ones you'll find that pertain to authors will be podcasts rather than vodcasts - audio-only, as opposed to video. You also don't have to leave your house. Technology is a wonderful thing. Just watch for any shows that request a donation, though they're few and far between.<br />
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At the very least you should be prepared to offer them an electronic review copy, along with a media kit. Don't worry. I haven't put together an actual media kit yet myself. It's something I'm going to have to do soon, because I'm trying to get proper book reviewers to take a look at it, which means professionalism will be required on my part. Especially as an indie author. I luckily have my own company, and I used it as my publisher, which might make them more likely to take a look at it.<br />
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Just as you would with your book, try to make sure you have a well-edited review request. When I was editing my book I used a program called <a href="http://www.naturalreaders.com/index.html">Natural Reader</a> (there's a free version, though it has some downsides) to read my chapters out loud to me, and you can do the same with any of your official correspondence. (I have the free version, and the third voice on the list of available ones was even better than the paid voices I found, so I'm happy to use the free version of the software for now.) Even when we read our writing out loud to ourselves, we often read out what we think is there, rather than what actually <i>is</i> there. One of many compelling reasons to have your book professionally edited if you can afford to do so.<br />
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I had to put my money into promo, so aside from my daughter reading the book, as well as a friend of mine, I used Natural Reader. Windows has something built-in that does the same thing, but I got irritated trying to set it up because the voice kept telling me every button I was hovering over, when that wasn't what I needed at all. It's meant for blind people, not authors, so I can't say I blame them. It's just not its true function.<br />
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In case you're wondering, I'm not getting paid for any of these links. This is all stuff I found on my own and I'm actually using. None of these sites have any idea I'm linking to them. In fact, I don't get paid for this blog in any way, shape, or form. It's just too random. The only thing I have on here are linked images to animal shelters I personally donate to, and hope someone else will choose to as well.<br />
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As for paid promo, aside from SweetFreeBooks, I've used a few different ones without really thinking it through and being critical - probably because I wasn't spending much money with each of them. Since then I've found a site that offers some advice on that sort of thing, called <a href="http://enovelauthorsatwork.com/ebook-promoters-the-best-the-worst/" target="_blank">eNovels Authors at Work</a>. The link I've provided is the first in a series of articles on promoters they've found that are good and bad. I haven't even read all of the series yet, since there are at least five parts to it. I've already found a lot of good information, so if you go through their blog I'm sure you will, too.<br />
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Something weird that I noticed about pricing for a lot of book promotion services is that they charge more when your book is free. Not all of them, but most. For instance, <a href="https://www.bookbub.com/partners/pricing" target="_blank">BookBub </a>charges less when the Kindle is free, but sites like <a href="http://www.freebooksy.com/for-the-authors/" target="_blank">FreeBooksy</a> charge more. I used their BargainBooksy list, which was only $35 to promote a $2.99 book, but the other list can cost anywhere from $40 to $200, depending on the genre (since some genres have more people subscribed to them, which means the books go out to more people). I understand the reasons, of course, because there are a lot more subscribers for the free lists, which means way more exposure for an author, but it's confusing when BookBub does the opposite. Of course, they have everything all on one list. They're also a lot harder to get on, for good reason. They have a huge list of subscribers.<br />
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I've done massive amounts of research on all this promotion stuff. Many, many hours of it that I would rather have spent writing. When you're a novelist, however, there's little choice. Unless you're Stephen King or something, even traditional publishers don't provide much in the way of promotion for their authors, which was my reason for heading straight to the indie route. I get much higher royalties, with no difference in work, except for the formatting and cover stuff - it's a very good thing my daughter is skilled with Photoshop, because I suck at graphics. Even opening a proper graphics program gives me a splitting headache. Every single time. I can use MS Paint, and I can crop or resize photos, but that's pretty much it.<br />
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I really wish I could afford someone to do all this stuff for me, because I just don't wanna. Hopefully I've managed to save my fellow authors a bit of time with this bunch of information. It really is worth it, though. I got my first review yesterday, and it was amazing. It was five stars, with a great deal of praise in the comment section, and I don't know the person who left it (unless they used an alias). I also didn't pay for it, which you can find someone to do if you go on <a href="https://www.fiverr.com/" target="_blank">fiverr</a>, but I'm hoping to get real reviews as opposed to paid, ergo <i>biased</i>, ones. It just didn't seem very honourable, though I was admittedly tempted. Now I'm really glad I held off, because I've got two (honest) 5-star reviews on there, and I'm pretty sure I don't know either of them. There's criticism within them, but they still liked the story, so that gives me something to work with for the next book. I'm quite thrilled to see that one complaint was that there wasn't enough detail on something, which means they would rather I had left in some stuff I took out because I thought it would be too boring.<br />
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[WARNING! *Shameless Book Plug Ahead!*] If anyone reading this is interested, Tipping Point is available on Amazon here at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Tipping-Point-Rain-Stickland-ebook/dp/B017V7IPME/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1447358303&sr=1-4&keywords=tipping+point&pebp=1447358306527&perid=02X7AEJ25W6ERJH2CSTN" target="_blank">this link</a>. If you're from a different country, it will tell you where to go (and it's polite about it). It's the first of a pre-through-post-apocalyptic trilogy that's based on a very real possibility. I was actually warned by a former Ontario Hydro executive that the power outages were going to get much, much worse, and that warning turned into a novel. Hopefully we can figure out a way to avoid it in the near future, but we'll have to wait and see.<br />
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The first book takes you up to the apocalypse. The second will take you through it. The third will show you a possible new beginning for humanity. The man who reviewed Tipping Point said it was terrifying, but there's action, romance, suspense, adventure, and science fiction. You can read it for free if you're a subscriber and have access to Amazon's lending library, or the Kindle's regular price is $2.99. If you read it and enjoy it (or even if you have a criticism of it), please leave a review - they're vital for indie authors. I honestly want to know what people think. It will help me improve as a writer.<br />
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Since the second book isn't going to write itself, and I have to catch up on my word count for National Novel Writing Month, I'm going to get back to it. Here's hoping my writer friends will attain the success that will allow them to do what they love for a living, rather than working to be able to afford to write. It's what we all dream of, isn't it?Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-44783611515760021752015-11-03T21:25:00.000-05:002015-11-03T21:25:50.806-05:00I'm Either Livin' the Dream, or Dreaming My LifeSince the middle of September my life has been nothing but a fantasy. Now, I don't mean a fantasy where it's been a series of perfect events. Not at all. Though it's certainly been perfect in its own way. Of course, no one else can really see it happening, because it's mostly been inside my own head. That's one of the many joys and frustrations of being a writer. You can be as happy as a clam (decide for yourself if a clam is really happy), yet no one has a clue that you are.<div>
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Starting around September 15th I began writing a book. I finished it (technically) around October 12th. Now I've spent the last few weeks editing and revising that book. I dream about the characters, and my first thought when I wake up is about those 'people' and what they're 'doing.' I don't remember ever getting involved with my writing like this before, even when I was much younger and was getting those mad spurts of creativity that made me look like a female version of Dr. Emmett Brown. Oddly, my biological father looks a bit like Christopher Lloyd, but thankfully I don't look like my father - not that I'm really happy about looking like my mother either.</div>
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I actually wake up, roll over, and start working every single day. It's become my waking habit if you will. I live within my book, because it's the only life I have at the moment. Not that I consider that a bad thing, because I truly love fiction and its ability to zip us around through alternative realities. The places we can go, the people we'll meet, and the things we'll do in those books can never be duplicated in everyday life.</div>
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This year I decided I would join National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo as it's called. After writing 126,000+ words in less than a month, I realized that writing 50,000 words was rather like a walk in the park for me. (In case you're unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, the goal is to write 50,000 words in a 30-day period.) I'm three days into it, while still putting the final touches on the other book, so I'm just hitting the daily word count for that book, but since I'm also working on the other one still I'm not too worried about it.</div>
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The joy of writing this new book for the contest, is that it's the second book in a trilogy. Both books are connected, and everything is staying super-fresh in my mind. This is a very good thing, because I have a lot of characters to keep track of, and various events on the timelines, so I don't want to lose the details. The world has basically come to an end, a lot of people have died, and the survivors are limping along. I honestly never thought I'd write science fiction, as apocalyptic fiction is labelled, but my personal interest in off-grid living became a trigger.</div>
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The research, before, during, and after writing the book, has actually been a joy. It's all stuff I'm interested in for my own life, and I feel I need to know anyway, so the two-bird-with-one-stone thing makes it seem like half the work to begin with. Plus I have a genuine interest and get enjoyment from learning about pretty much anything. My head has been stuck in a book (if you can call online research a book) even when it wasn't stuck in <i>my</i> book.</div>
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You might be wondering why I would have to research <i>after</i> writing the book, but that's to do with revision and editing. I occasionally get to a part where my critical thinking skills finally kick in and ask, "Yes, but is that really how things work, or were you just pretending to be a know-it-all?" I've been schooled a few times since the 'completion' in mid-October. In fact, a friend of mine has introduced me to some knowledge on survival knives recently, that may find its way into the book even now when I'm about to format it for CreateSpace. I'm not sure if it's particularly relevant, but I'm keeping an open mind.</div>
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At this very moment I'm actually supposed to be rewriting the first two pages of the book, along with the epilogue. Both are rather ham-fisted at the moment, and not what I intended, but sometimes writing is like that. You just get the general concept down, and fiddle with it later. Not everyone wants to write like that. Often people who call themselves writers will refuse to write unless the blinding light of inspiration strikes. Most often those writers never finish a project. Believe me, I know. I was one of those.</div>
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I'll be fair to myself here and say that a good portion of the reason I wasn't doing my 'real' writing (also known as novel-length fiction), was pain. It can be very difficult to get out of your own world and into a fictitious one, when your body is screaming at you. I had to figure out a way to write so that I was as physically comfortable as possible, which isn't easy if you're trying to avoid mind-numbing narcotics. I don't want to be one of those writers that can only write if they're drunk or high. It's one point on which I'm in complete agreement with Stephen King. Substance abuse is substance abuse, whether or not you're using it to write. I feel the same about music, actually. I've never like listening to drug-infused garbage. I figure if they can't play it straight, then they really can't play it. Anything else is like being an athlete on steroids or blood-doping (ahem, Lance Armstrong).</div>
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Thankfully I've given myself a major deadline on my first book. I've told a whole bunch of people that it's coming out on Friday the 13th (yes, this very next one, here in November). It's most likely that will be Kindle only, because the paperback may take a couple of weeks longer to be finalized. Still, a promise is a promise, and that means there will be no more fiddling and procrastinating after I submit the formatted work.</div>
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I love Friday the 13th. It's my lucky day, and it has been my whole life. Back when I was a figure skater (the main cause of the pain I deal with these days), I always did exceptionally well during tests and competitions if they happened to fall on that day. Good things were attracted to me on Friday the 13th. A friend of mine (who actually knows and loves me) tells me it's because I'm the devil, and so I chuckle wickedly in response. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. It could all be an intricate plot. In my life pretty much everything is.</div>
Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-119081448764393582015-10-21T12:50:00.001-04:002015-10-21T12:54:47.236-04:00It's Never Been a Better Time to Be a Writer - Kindle Part TwoIt has taken me a while to get back to writing the second part of this, because I've already been taking my own advice. It really is a great time to be a writer, and I wanted to capitalize on the changes I'll be telling you about here in this post. In fact, I wrote a whole book between September 15th and October 15th. Actually, I finished around the 12th of October if I remember correctly, and since then I've been editing and revising as madly as I wrote it. Yes. That was me. I did that! 120,000 words worth at the time, though it's since crept up to 125,000 with the addition of some new scenes I felt were necessary. (I'll be announcing a release date soon, and sharing the cover design around that time.)<br />
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In this day and age anyone can be a published author. I really do mean anyone. Even me. You don't have to go through stacks of envelopes, a zillion e-mails, or receive a hundred rejection letters. No, you can let your readers decide whether or not they like your books, not some executive sitting in the ivory tower of traditional publishing. Let's face it. Readers know what they want far better than some stranger.<br />
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Traditional publishers try to convince authors that they can't go it alone. Well, here's where my true-false meter flashes a big, red light. They're lying to you on three counts. One, it's entirely possible to go it alone. Two, you really don't have to be alone out there. Three, the majority of writers who go through a traditional publisher often end up going it alone anyway. There is very little support for a writer when it comes to promotion. You have to hire your own people for that.<br />
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The best you can expect from your traditional publisher is to be included in the information they send out to book stores. You don't usually get any bookmarks to hand out, they don't book radio and television appearances, and they don't take out ads promoting your book. You have to do all that yourself. And for all that nothingness that you get from them, what's the bottom line? About ten or fifteen cents per book sold.<br />
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In other words, to receive about $40,000 per year you would have to sell up to 400,000 copies of your book. That year and every year thereafter. Pretty tough to make a living as a writer under those circumstances. Sure, the idea is that you're going to write more books, and then the effect would be cumulative, but why would you want to give all that money to a traditional publisher anyway? What have they done for you lately?<br />
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So, here's the deal. Self-publishing used to be a great way for printing companies to gouge desperate authors. The industry has cleaned up a great deal, however, and now it's at the point where publishing a book can be completely free, or so ridiculously cheap that it might as well be. It all depends on what you need the self-publishing company to do. If you publish through Kindle, the formatting costs absolutely nothing. Same with CreateSpace, which is the print-on-demand side of Amazon, as opposed to the e-book only side. CreateSpace will try to up-sell you on stuff, but if you have any competence with a computer this should be a non-issue. Or you can go to websites like <a href="https://www.fiverr.com/">Fiverr</a> and pay someone $5 to do the work for you.<br />
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The same holds true for cover design. If you're no good at graphics, and you don't know anyone who is (and who would be willing to do it for free), there are a lot of cover designers on Fiverr, as well as a number of very reasonably-priced graphic artists out there who specialize in cover design. Believe me, you want someone good. I did a mock-up of the cover I want done, but it totally sucks as it is. That's why I'm having my daughter deal with the heavy-lifting there. Your cover is what will sell your book, far more so than the blurb that accompanies it. As a reader, I know very well that I tend to skim the back-cover paragraph. If I see certain keywords I'm happy, but the cover <i>has</i> to get me to pick up the book in the first place. If my daughter can't come up with something really grabby, then I'm going to talk to some of the wonderful folks on Fiverr.<br />
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My book's cover art is a bit of a challenge, however. It's hard to define it in an image. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but can you encapsulate 125,000 words in a single image? Well, I guess we'll see what we can come up with there.<br />
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As for the rest of it, the resources that are out there if you do a simple Google search are amazing. Truly amazing. So many blogs and articles about how to take on different aspects of writing and self-publishing. Everything from the nuts and bolts of forcing yourself to sit down and write, to the hundreds of ways you can market the finished product (including how to time your promotions for the best results). There are some really great ways to promote your books that are completely free. Things like joining pages and groups on Facebook that include people with an interest in the topics your book centres around. For example, my book deals with preparedness and survival, along with an oncoming end-of-the-world scenario. So, any page that talks about those things has the potential to help me market my book (I should say 'books,' since this is the beginning of a trilogy).<br />
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A great way to market your book is through those e-mail lists I mentioned in my last post for Kindle readers. <a href="https://www.bookbub.com/partners/pricing" target="_blank">BookBub </a>and <a href="http://sweetfreebooks.com/advertise/" target="_blank">Sweet Free Books</a> are two of them. There's also <a href="http://www.freebooksy.com/for-the-authors/" target="_blank">FreeBooksy</a>, which I just discovered recently. You can hire people from Fiverr to promote your books for $5, through banner ads, radio shows, or podcasts. I mean, seriously, what's $5 when it comes to advertising and promotions. BookBub, Sweet Free Books and FreeBooksy cost way more than $5, usually, unless they're running a special. Currently Sweet Free Books is actually $5, but that could change at any time, so always look at their pricing. Last time I looked, I think it was 99-cents. Some e-mail sites require your books to have a certain number of reviews on Amazon, or a rating of a certain amount. BookBub can go out to as many as a million (or more) people, however, and their rates of return are really quite good. Well worth the hundreds of dollars they charge (and the amount depends on the genre and listing type - whether you're offering your book free or for discounted rates).<br />
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Amazon has a built-in tool for marketing that I'd suggest you use if you publish through Kindle. It's Kindle Select (check out <a href="http://marketingeasystreet.com/how-to-launch-book.php" target="_blank">this article</a> for tips to leverage it). It means agreeing to a 90-day exclusivity contract, so you cannot publish through any other e-publisher, no matter what format it is, and you can't give your e-books away to anyone unless it's through the 5 free days they give you as an optional promotional tool. This does <i>not</i> apply to any print versions of your books. The reason I suggest you use it is two-fold. First, because your book automatically gets marketed through Amazon - are you really going to get any better advertising than that? Second, your book goes into their Kindle lending library, from which you make a percentage of the royalties. People can read your book for free by subscribing to the service, but you still get paid. If you're looking for exposure, this is one great way to get it.<br />
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Seriously, when it comes to marketing, the options are myriad to the point of being limitless. I'm the kind of person who <i>despises</i> selling. Marketing is just not something I want to spend any time on at all. I'm going to have to, of course, but I'll be very picky about what I'm doing. Mostly that means paying someone else to do it, but I'm also a cheapskate, so that means I'll be paying as little as possible at the very beginning. I'll funnel book profits back into marketing on a sliding scale. If I can afford it, I'll do it, because the only way to sell your books is to let people know you've written them. <a href="http://bestsellerlabs.com/">Bestseller Labs</a> has some really great advice on its site that you should check out, too.<br />
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So, what's the bottom line on profit? Okay, most writers write because they have a compulsion to do so. They really do it for love, if they're any kind of writer. (I've been doing it since I was twelve. Not that I was any good at that age, but I was still writing. I'm 44 now, so I've had writing in my head for 32 years. I wasn't writing the whole time in a physical sense, but my head was always telling stories to me.) However, people still need to eat, so we all have to make money at doing things if we don't want to starve. Kindle offers you up to 70% royalties, and CreateSpace offers up to 60%. I'm focusing on those for two reasons. One, their royalties really are the highest I've found. Two, this article has Kindle in the title. I will be using them both, because I want print version of my books. Call me old-fashioned if you like, but it's also a vanity thing. I want them in my house. I want to be able to give them out. When I read I tend to read e-books these days, but it's pretty damn hard to sign and hand out e-books.<br />
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What do those royalties come down to? Well, let's do the math. If you have a trade paperback selling for ten bucks (which is extremely cheap these days) through a traditional publisher, and you only get ten or fifteen cents per copy sold, you have to sell up to $4 million in books every year to your readers to get $40,000 per year. If you're getting seventy cents on the dollar, however, in order to get that much in annual income you only have to sell a little over $57,142 worth of books per year. You can easily charge $2.99 a book and still make out like a bandit, only having to sell about 19,048 copies each year. In other words, your readers have to shell out seventy times more money, just so you can earn a semi-decent income, if you choose to publish the old way.<br />
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If you're writing a series, the options are amazing when it comes to promotion and sales. You absolutely must take advantage of this stuff if you're writing a trilogy, or a giant series. For one thing, every single book in that series will work to promote all the other books. Your sales will increase exponentially, if people like what they're reading.<br />
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This blog is a good example of that, if you think about it. When I first started writing it my readers were pretty thin on the ground. As time went on, even though I don't have a serious theme going here, I got a lot more readers. That's because they've clicked on something they found on Google, and ended up getting sucked into the black hole of my brain. I've been writing a lot fewer posts, and getting a lot more activity on each post, yet without much in the way of promoting them. Half of what I write on here is just to chat with the people who have become loyal readers. Okay, maybe more than half - I'm not really sure, since I just write what I feel like writing. When I do have a post that has some seriousness to it, I'll usually promote it a little bit through <a href="https://hootsuite.com/">HootSuite</a>, which shoots it out to all my social media platforms.<br />
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At the end of a Kindle book (at least it works this way for the Android app), Amazon automatically asks for a rating of the book. If the book is part of a series, Amazon knows this (assuming the author entered that information correctly when they published their books), and it will direct the reader to other books in the series, as well as other books written by the same author. I've bought a lot of my books this way. I start out with a free book, but then the rest of the series I willingly pay for if I'm hooked. It's perfect for readers and authors. Readers find new authors they love, and writers can promote a series of books.<br />
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Offering books for free can be a very good idea for other reasons, too. You see, Amazon has a ranking system for all books, and your rank is based on how well your book is doing within its genre. Picking your category is extremely important (see <a href="http://www.selfpublishingadvice.org/self-publishers-use-amazon-categories-to-drive-more-sales-50-ways-to-reach-your-reader-10/" target="_blank">this article</a> for an explanation on categories and what they can mean for authors), because the fewer books there are in a genre, to more likely you are to rank high. The higher you rank, the more likely Amazon will help to promote you. Your book may end up going out to millions of potential buyers, without you having to do the heavy-lifting. I know, if your book is always free then it's not possible to make money from it. However, the idea is to space out your free promo days (Kindle Select will give you five of them that you can schedule based on your own needs, if that's the promo type you choose), so that you spike your readership enough to increase your ranking. And if you've already got another book published that's part of the same series, then you're getting massive promo for it.<br />
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Honestly, I cannot begin to cover everything I've learned about self-publishing in a single blog post. People dedicate entire blogs to just the marketing end of it. All I can do is tell you that I'm convinced it's the best option for me when it comes to publishing my own novels. A traditional publisher would have a long way to go to convince me that it was worth signing a contract with them. What they do offer is massive editing and proofreading, plus professional cover design. All of those are available through freelancers, however, and just for the record, the top five things of importance when it comes selling a book are these: Good writing, a good story, a top-notch cover, pristine editing, and marketing. If you want your book to succeed it really should have all five of those elements. Not every successful book does, but if you want to guarantee you sell oodles of books, you should do everything you can to have every one of them in place. And you don't need a traditional publisher to do that.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-51544083370894522052015-08-16T21:25:00.001-04:002015-10-21T12:54:07.554-04:00It's Never Been a Better Time to Be a Reader - Kindle Part OneFirst let me start out by saying that I'm an absolutely voracious reader. I consume books at a very rapid rate, and I'm addicted to them. If I don't have at least one more book lined up for when I finish the one I'm currently reading, I feel very anxious. I need my fix. So, believe me when I tell you that if there are more free books out there than even I can keep up with (and they're in my favourite genres), I'm not blowing smoke. In fact, my phone is now completely overloaded with books waiting to be read. The vast majority of those books were completely free, and I downloaded them legally from Amazon.<br />
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So let me tell you how it works. No, it's not a gimmick of any kind where you have to jump through any hoops other than technological ones in the form of downloading the Kindle app and the books themselves. There are two websites out there that I will recommend that sends you daily e-mails about free or nearly-free books. They don't send you anything else. No spam at all. One is called <a href="http://sweetfreebooks.com/" target="_blank">Sweet Free Books</a>, and the other is <a href="https://www.bookbub.com/home" target="_blank">BookBub</a>. The other thing you'll need is an Amazon account. Just do their free sign-up thing if you don't already have an account.<br />
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Both mailing lists ask you for your genre preferences, and that's what they send you for recommendations, which include the Amazon link for getting the books you choose at that price. Now sometimes these deals go fast, but usually I can try the next day and they're still there - some last much longer.<br />
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This works whether you have a physical Kindle or not. If you have a smartphone or a computer, you can read Kindle books. They have a downloadable app for iOS, Android and BlackBerry. They even have it for Windows phones. They also have the app for your Windows PC, and possibly others. Just go to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/digital/fiona/kcp-landing-page/?ref=spkl_1_0_2165036122&qid=1439772575&pf_rd_p=2165036122&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_t=301&pf_rd_s=desktop-auto-sparkle&pf_rd_r=029BQKJ51ATEPQTBS5K2&pf_rd_i=kindle+app" target="_blank">this link</a> for the various apps. They can send it direct to your phone or e-mail you a link.<br />
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Personally, I didn't like reading on my laptop. Reading on my phone, however, is a totally different story. You can change the font size, type and colour, it's convenient, and you can carry dozens of books around with it - potentially thousands, depending on your phone's memory capacity. You can also move the Kindle app to your replaceable memory card, so you have a lot of storage capability for books. It is so much more convenient (and lighter) than carting your current books around, and then your next one just in case you finish the one you're already reading.<br />
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The other thing people need to know about, is that you can look at books by genre and sort by price on Amazon, and you're going to find hundreds of free books available to you at any given moment. This is where I've managed to increase my collection so quickly. One or two books a day is great, and probably more than I'm going to be able to read, but I'm a total hoarder when it comes to reading material.<br />
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One more area to scavenge for free reading material are places that store out-of-copyright, or public domain books. After a certain number of years books lose their copyright status. It's usually somewhere between fifty and a hundred years after the death of the author, depending on which country you live in (and I believe it's the reader's country of origin, not the author's, but I could be wrong). So, if you've been looking to catch up on the classics, those are great places to start. <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/" target="_blank">Project Gutenberg</a> has a huge collection. Google Books is doing some sort of online indexing now, too, but I haven't ventured into that except when researching specific topics and I haven't downloaded anything. Keep in mind that the major databases have books in multiple formats, so if you have a Kindle app you're looking for the mobi format. Sony has a reader, as does Nook, and Kobo, etc., so make sure you pick the right file format.<br />
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However, if you're looking for a book on one of those sites and it's not available in mobi, you can download what they do have and convert it very easily using <a href="http://ebook.online-convert.com/convert-to-mobi" target="_blank">Online-Convert.com</a>. I use this site for so many different things, and I have for years. The conversion works perfectly as far as I can tell. The link I've provided is for converting everything from Word documents to PDFs to LIT into mobi files. They also have audio and video converters on there, so it's a really helpful website for pretty much anyone. I used to use the Microsoft reader, so I've got tons of books I've had to convert from LIT to mobi.<br />
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Let me reassure you once again that everything I've told you here is legal. These are books that are either out of copyright, or the authors have chosen to give the Kindle versions of their books away. Now this is the only part of the whole thing that you might be able to call a ploy. The reason authors give away their books is because they're hoping you'll love their work and want to buy the rest of them. Now for those of us who love books, paying for a book isn't a hardship if we can afford it. We want to support the authors, because we want them to keep writing, and a good book is well worth its price. This works especially well when an author has written a series, and at the end of the first book, which they've given away free, there's a link not only to rate the book, but also to purchase the next book(s) in the series.<br />
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I'm perfectly okay with that. In fact, it makes things really convenient for me if I love what I'm reading. In most cases the subsequent books are also very reasonably priced. Indie authors are doing this all the time, and they can afford to when they publish with Kindle. Amazon gives authors great royalty percentages on their books, unlike traditional publishers where authors will often make only a dime or so per book sold. Kindle authors can sell a book for under a dollar, and still make five times as much on it as they would have with a traditional publisher. They're cutting out the biggest middle man. Amazon would be there anyway at the end of the retail chain, but suddenly the reader is no longer paying the bloated salaries of publishers that don't really do much to help their authors anyway.<br />
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"Yeah, but are the books any good?" I can hear that question a thousand miles away. There is an absolute plethora of amazing authors out there, publishing independently. I have friends who have written great books, like the Time Change series written by <a class="g-profile" href="https://plus.google.com/112615047228137079613" target="_blank">+Alex Myers</a>. They're great books, fast-paced, fascinating, and with a ton of research put into them. No, I'm not saying those are free. I got copies of them so I could review the first one, and he was kind enough to send me a couple more of his books because I was so thrilled with the first one I read. I'll be re-reading the first two Time Change books shortly, because I plan to buy the third one.<br />
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That's the magic of being a reader (or a writer, which I'll get into in the second part of this blog when I write it), in this 'day and age' as they say. There's a connection between reader and author unlike anything that's come before. Indie authors are approachable usually. Often they're looking for feedback on their work. I read a book recently that was a really great story, but badly needed editing, so I e-mailed the author. I explained that I'd given him four stars on Amazon, and my reasons for not giving him five. Seriously, though, if you do that please be kind. Authors can be very sensitive. A story or book can be like one of our offspring, and we want everyone else to love it, too. Make any criticism constructive. I try to be very careful about what I say, and how I say it, because if I like someone's work enough to want to go to the effort of critiquing it like that, I really want them to continue writing.<br />
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Thankfully the author I wrote to seemed to agree with what I'd said, and told me that I had given him new encouragement to finish the sequel. As I said, magic. He knows that there's a fan out there who likes his brainchild enough to help it grow up a little bit. And he'll be letting me know as soon as it's available so I can read it right away.<br />
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Of course, it's not just unknown or indie authors that are giving deals. I get quite a few that are New York Times Bestselling authors. Alice Hoffman, who wrote Practical Magic (yes, the one that became the movie with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman), recently released a book that ended up on my e-mail list of deals. It's a great marketing tool. A few people get the book and start raving about it, and soon others are buying it at full price, or at least buying other books by the same author.<br />
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I've been reading a lot of dystopian, apocalyptic fiction lately. A fair bit of zombie stuff, along with a few aliens, and a disease or two wiping out most of the population. It's a pretty specific interest area, but as I said there's an absolute plethora of free books on Amazon. Barnes & Noble does the same thing, but at a smaller volume, so I haven't bothered with a membership with them. I don't need it.<br />
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One series I read recently (that started with a free book), was just wonderful. I don't know the author personally, though I might e-mail her just to beg her to write another book. Her name is Sarah Lyons Fleming, and the first book in the series is, "Until the End of the World." There are three novels in the series, and one novella. At first glance the title made me think it was going to be a romance. Sure, there are relationships in it, but the main theme in the books revolves around a zombie apocalypse caused by a virus developed by the army. The main character's parents were what are called 'preppers' who were of the homesteading type. They had backpacks ready to go at all times, a cabin with solar capabilities, canned food to last for years, you name it. Since I'm already personally interested in the topic, the stories were great from that perspective alone. On top of that, I fell in love with the characters. Important people die, and you actually care that they're gone.<br />
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As you can imagine, I posted a great review for all of the books, other than the novella which I just haven't gotten around to posting yet, except for giving it the five stars through my phone app.<br />
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The abundance of book is like a utopia for me, as I (ironically perhaps) read about dystopias. Those e-mails from BookBub and Sweet Free Books are ones that I eagerly anticipate each day, wondering what new literary treasure awaits me. Don't get me wrong. I have hundreds of actual books on my shelves. I prefer hardcover when it comes to reference material I keep for my research, or even oversize softcover. I need to be able to glance over at the page continuously sometimes, and my phone shutting off automatically would get annoying for that. However, it's just easier to relax with my phone for recreational reading, and outright reading of non-fiction.<br />
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If you're a reader (and I assume you are if you're even bothering to read this particular post), you'll be ecstatic if you delve into these waters. They're filled with wonderful stories, and every story that you read makes you a better person. Fiction teaches understanding and empathy in people, so if your kids have smartphones encourage them to read on them instead of spending hours on social media. There's nothing more important to the development of human beings than reading, and the freedom to read as we like. From the time I got so angry reading Fahrenheit 451 that I threw the book across the room when they started burning books in the story, I've fervently believed that reading was vital. I was a young kid doing a book report - fifth grade I believe, because I remember who my teacher was - yet, books were so important to me even then.<br />
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I never finished reading Bradbury's book, though I will someday, but my teacher didn't punish me or give me a bad grade. In fact, I wrote the report based on what I'd read so far, if I remember correctly, and then explained what happened to my teacher. She was actually rather impressed by my ferocious love of books, and I got a really good mark.<br />
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Escapism is necessary to a healthy psyche. It helps us cope when things are difficult, allowing us a release valve. Some forms of escapism are harmful, though, whereas reading is not. The more we read, the more we open our minds and hearts. The more people in this world who do that, the more likely humanity is to move forward, rather than petering out.<br />
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Now, turn on that device and get downloading! Happy reading everyone!!Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-75054725053507969492015-08-11T14:22:00.000-04:002015-08-11T14:40:50.053-04:00My Latest Snuggle Buddy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm madly in love, I tell you. After months of aridity - more months than I care to count - I'm finally getting it again. Coffee that is. I finally got a new coffee maker, and the coffee to go in it, and I'm thrilled to death to be able to report that I had my first cup today. Wow, yum. That's all I can say. It's the perfect little doodad for me, too. Just look at the picture and you'll see what I mean. It does a cup at a time, which is all I can drink usually anyway. It came with a mug, scoop, and permanent filter. It's absolutely sublime. I'm sure the infatuation will fade eventually, but for now I will revel in newfound love.<br />
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Additionally I've had some other wonderful things happen lately, and maybe a not-so-wonderful wake-up call, or two. For starters, I'm working on this great project. It's a video about rape prevention, protection and recovery. As usual I'm working with my friend and business partner, <a class="g-profile" href="https://plus.google.com/115504755264796217698" target="_blank">+Steve Kovacs</a>, who is really pushing this project. It says wonderful things about him that he feels this is so important. It's a multi-prong approach to dealing with rape. Not just for women, either. It's for parents who want to teach their boys not to rape, and their girls not to engage in victim-blaming. It's for anyone who wants to physically prevent being raped using techniques from a real expert (that would be Steve, since he's a 9th Dan Black Belt in Minna Jiu-Jitsu, and the <i>soke</i> of that style), and it's for anyone who wants to recover from rape.<br />
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So, in the spirit of having to be on film for certain segments of this project, I knuckled under and decided it was time to do the wild and crazy things I've been putting off. Such as dyeing my hair a crazy colour, growing my nails, wearing make-up, etc. I actually had to go out and buy make-up, because mine is long past any expiration date. The one thing I should have bought, and didn't, was mascara. That's the one you have to watch for when it comes to bacteria getting into your eyes. I think I've got a fairly recent one, however, so I'll take a chance. After all, the colour I get never really changes.<br />
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I wanted to get a haircut, too, but chose a six-pack of beer after a hard day's shopping, rather than walk several blocks to the hair place. I was already worn out, and hey, The Beer Store was right there (yes, it's actually called The Beer Store here in Ontario, Canada). I hadn't had beer in so long. Sadly, six beers were only enough to get me mildly tipsy, despite the fact that I rarely drink. I have a very high tolerance for alcohol for some reason. Probably the Irish and Scottish in me.<br />
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I chose Manic Panic's Hot Hot Pink for my new crazy colour. I'm not stripping it first, so it will come out sort of a raspberry colour I think, which really isn't extreme, but I'll get there eventually. I'm personally angling for bright purple, blue or green at some point, but I'll surf through all the colours at some point.<br />
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I was a little confounded and depressed by the whole make-up thing. I mean, even the regular, drug-store type stuff like Revlon is getting expensive. $17 for an ounce of a substance that's actually supposed to look invisible - also known as foundation. $70 later, and sans mascara or blush, we left the cosmetics department. Ugh. Still, it'll be fun to play dress-up.<br />
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I've finally managed to set up my shot appointment again, too, for those ultrasound-guided injections into my hips. Took weeks of calling, but I finally got bumped way ahead on the list. I already had an appointment for July 3rd, but they cancelled, so by rights they had to put me in ahead of the pack. Yesterday I saw my doctor for a physical for the first time in about 4 or 5 years, and went through the whole deal. I also got my tetanus shot, and all the bloodwork, plus a liver function test and a check on my B12 levels. I'll probably have to go back in once more to get my vial of B12, along with some needles, but if I have to go in there for the shots I'll never stay with them consistently. Other than that, assuming my results are relatively normal from the tests, I won't have to go back to my family doctor for years again, and I'm fully up-to-date on everything. Yeah, baby!<br />
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I've been put on Tylenol 3s, since I was taking far too many Tylenol 1s. This will save my liver a lot of aggravation, and hopefully I'll notice fewer issues with my blood sugar. She's also sending me for an x-ray and ultrasound on that knee I hurt in March. This was the first time a doctor has looked at it. I know, I'm terrible, but not being able to get down the stairs at the old place meant not getting to the ER when it would have made a difference. And then I procrastinated even though I knew something was still wrong with it.<br />
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There were two things from Friday and yesterday that I wasn't exactly thrilled with, but I maintain my positive attitude anyway. The first is that it looks like our 15-year-old cat has cancer, but she's still healthy and probably has a lot of life left. She goes back in a couple of weeks for a check-up and possible testing. I don't think surgery will be viable, since they would have to remove her mammary area pretty much completely, along with spaying her to get rid of the hormones. The vet said the tumours tend to come back pretty aggressively if they miss anything, though, and it's very hard to get it all. Plus she's not exactly a kitten anymore, so I'm not sure if we'll put her through surgery. We'll decide when the time comes. As I said, she's still acting completely normal, and the vet said she seems healthy and active, so we're not borrowing trouble.<br />
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The other item that wasn't great was my weight. I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life, and I can't fool myself into thinking it's muscle these days, so I need to get a lot more serious about that exercise plan I mentioned in my last post. If I average out what I've done since my birthday, I'd say I've been getting some pretty loose exercise a couple of times a week. It's not enough. I can still do sit-ups, touch my toes, and boogie to the music - I just don't look as good doing it. So, it's time to do more than a little yoga and a few sit-ups. I have to build up some muscle to start burning up my stored energy (also known as fat).<br />
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Still, things feel really good for me today. Knowing most of my issues are being taken care of, and that I've gone ahead with the plans I made for my life this year, makes me feel positive about pretty much everything. And now to celebrate, I think I'm going to snuggle up with that adorable little coffee maker again, and possibly wheedle another cup for myself. The first one went down just a little too smoothly.<br />
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Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-41380900301403094472015-06-28T07:20:00.000-04:002015-06-28T07:20:07.910-04:00Giving Myself a New Gift (or Three) Every YearChange and movement are a part of life. Every year around my birthday I start to look at how things are at that moment, what I managed to accomplish in the last year, and what I'd like to accomplish by my next birthday. There's been a lot of changes this last year, moving being one of the best ones. We're in a place we really like now, and that makes a huge difference in how much I want people in my personal space. I'm no longer ashamed of where I live. I'm thrilled to be able to make plans about what furniture and other decor to buy, and where to put everything. I have an interest in having nice things again, where before I just looked around and shrugged, saying, "What the hell difference would it make? It'll still look like a $#!thole."<br />
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It was a psychological 'giving up' caused by depressing surroundings, and it really is amazing how much better I feel as a human being these days. I realize I haven't been writing, but I don't have a comfortable writing space set up with a chair and desk. At the moment I'm sitting on the edge of a mattress that's sitting on the floor. My laptop is propped up with a large stack of reference books. I'm hunched over in an amazingly uncomfortable position just so I can bang out a few words to my regular readers. Well, that and I'm sort of organizing my thoughts for the year to come.<br />
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That being said, I need to get back on topic. Last year I became even more politically involved, particularly in my own country. I actually became an official member of a political party. I donated $25 I think, and I have a 3-year membership with the Green Party. I could have gone with the NDP, actually, but there are things that are annoying me about them. Still, either party is better than the Progressive Conservatives (or PC party) or the Liberal party. Both of those are in the pockets of big oil and all that jazz, and they both voted for Keystone XL. The only ones to vote against it were NDP and an Independent. I'm really hoping we can get rid of Harper in the next federal election, because he's destroyed a lot of Canada - physically destroyed it, I mean.<br />
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The third gift I gave myself last year, though it wasn't really under my control so much, was finally getting in to see the right orthopedic surgeon. Nothing has been done as yet, except to book me for a group of doctors that will be giving me a whole bunch of ultrasound-guided injections of long-acting local anesthesia. That won't happen until after my birthday, so I can't count pain relief for last year, but I can count the progress toward healing.<br />
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This coming year I'm looking at my last year before I hit 45. That's kind of a milestone birthday, I think. So this next year I'm going to give myself some really important gifts for that birthday. The first is related to the last one I mentioned for last year. I'm going ahead with the treatment that will discover the extent of my injuries, and exactly where the worst of the pain is coming from. I want to be able to jump out of bed in the morning, rather than rolling cautiously, straightening each part of my body slowly so that I can finally stand up. The first couple of steps I take are pretty painful. I want that way of life gone this year. Maybe the doctors won't be able to schedule my repairs fast enough for my next birthday, because it sounds like there's a lot to be done. However, there's something else I can do to help that along.<br />
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This leads me to my next gift to myself, and that simply physical fitness. Knowing that the vast majority of my pain will be treated, despite it being only a mask of the real problems, I'm confident I can start to move around a lot more. I'll have to start out cautiously, because I've basically been in a chair or a bed for the last few years. It's hard to exercise when it's excruciating, but even more so when you're told you're not supposed to because it will cause more damage. In fact, I've been told a lot of crap from doctors that never told me there were ways around my various issues. I have a problem with my knees that could have been fixed with simple exercises, and I only found that out a couple of weeks ago. It turns out that my disc problems in my back can be healed, but I was told by another orthopedic surgeon that my back was permanently screwed.<br />
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In other words, I'm taking what the doctors tell me with a grain of salt, I'm doing my own research, and I'm going to start moving my body more and more throughout the year. Yoga, resistance/weight-training, and aerobic activity. I'm going to start recording my results, and maybe I'll share them here, too. It depends on how I feel about it once I get going. I'm not sharing half-naked before & after pictures, don't worry. I'll spare everyone that much. I might do some fully-dressed, though. We'll see. Whatever the case may be, I'll be in a lot better shape by my next birthday, and I'm doing it the right way - as a lifestyle change, not a binge program. The last thing I need is more injuries, or to stop doing it because it's just too drastic. I need to have fun with it. Thankfully I like the activities I've chosen, and they're well-rounded with regard to a fitness program. Flexibility, strength and endurance, which are all things we need to live a full life.<br />
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I'm also setting up my home so that I have a nice working and living environment, so I can get back to serious and consistent writing again, in addition to my other work. I want to be able to put in the time on everything and feel productive again. In my head I'm almost always working, because I do love the things I do. However, translating that to actually getting the work done is a different story. Not being in so much pain will help a great deal there, too. Not only because pain is distracting and exhausting and makes me want to curl up in the fetal position, but because I take so many pills to counteract the pain that my brain just can't stick with things long enough to accomplish anything. You wouldn't believe how many blog posts and articles I've started and stalled out on halfway through. Once I stop working on a piece it ends up being deleted. I never go back to finish it off. I either rewrite the whole thing or just dump it entirely.<br />
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Cautiously I say, too, that this year I want to finish and publish at least one book. Even if it's an anthology I edit where I've only written one or two short stories, and there are stories from other writers in it. It's past time for me to get my fiction work out there. I'm also considering writing a small book on rape recovery. Never mind the fact that I've got the makings of more than one series of books. There's my demon series and the serial killer one. I've got lots of notes, and the basic outlines for story arcs throughout, so I think they'll be great if I ever have a comfortable place to sit and get some real writing done. I know...excuses, excuses...<br />
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I look forward to every single year of my life. I don't celebrate birthdays with any brouhaha, because it's just not the way I roll. I'd rather sit at home doing exactly the same things I'd be doing on any other day. The exception is that we usually have a special meal, with cake or pie after, and then my daughter and I watch a bunch of movies. That won't be possible this year. My daughter is working 12-hours shifts on weird rotations, so she has to sleep the entire time she's home. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't getting any shifts at all for a while there. We barely have the rent money now, so we won't be buying steaks & cakes. That's okay, too. I don't mind being broke so long as we have the essentials and we're not short on the rent. We won't starve and the landlord is getting paid.<br />
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Maybe I'll watch some movies on my own, but more likely I'll play games on my computer or work toward this year's goals.I still have to finish my starting routine for working out, and determine my level of progression, but I have fun planning that kind of thing. I can get bogged down in the details and find myself distracted, but as long as I cover the first few weeks I can always plan the next steps when I get to them.<br />
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Of course, I also continued my education last year, and that's ongoing. I went through the MIT course on programming with Python, and I'm enrolled in Linux and calculus courses at the moment. I think there's a chemistry course in there somewhere, too, but it hasn't started yet. I plan to delve into CSS and Java, among other things. For me, I think the best part of living life is learning whatever I can latch my brain onto. We become so much more by educating ourselves, opening our horizons. Every course I take brings in new perspectives on life, no matter what the topic. I see just a slightly different slant, and that's such a huge benefit - not only to me, but to my readers as well. I can offer so much more to everyone around me if I keep becoming more than what I am now.<br />
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I remember many years ago reading in a book about a married couple whose philosophy was that we are not human beings, but rather we're human <i>becomings</i>, and for me that was a crystallizing moment. I understood right then that that was the person I need to be (or become, if you will). So, every year I get just a little bit closer to the person I'm supposed to grow into. Maybe I'll make it there, and maybe I won't, but it would be a real shame if I didn't even try. Alas, no matter how many years are between this one and the one on my birth certificate, I don't think I'll ever really grow up, which makes me smile just thinking about it.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-5833518838983731712015-06-12T03:52:00.000-04:002015-06-12T03:52:21.439-04:00Powerful While Powerless, and a Refreshing StartLet me get right down to the nitty-gritty. We finally got ourselves moved out of our old apartment. We also had some interesting times without electricity for the last 10 days we were there. It's not the first time I've done without power, and I'm stubborn when it comes to paying a bill where I think I'm getting ripped off. Living in an apartment it's very easy for people to patch into other people's power lines. All you need is a little detector for electrical lines and a drill. For some reason, despite the fact that we weren't using space heaters for those months, our usage was twice as high as it had been the previous year when we <i>were</i> using space heaters. I told the woman at the utility company this, and she simply didn't care. Told us we had to pay well over $300 if we wanted to retain our service for the last ten days we'd be there. I told them to stuff it. Stealing utilities of any kind in this country is actually a very big offense, so you would think they'd be a little more interested, but they weren't. Too much bother for them when they could simply demand their money from us.<br />
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We actually had the money to pay the bill. That wasn't the point. The point was that someone was stealing from us and I wasn't going to pay for it. Instead we bought some batteries for our LED lantern, and got a couple more LED lights. It being close to summer, we had a fair bit of daylight anyway, and at night we played board games or UNO. We had a lot of fun, and bought a bunch of ravioli to eat cold. We could have had other stuff, but we happen to like cold ravioli.<br />
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Right before our power was shut off our microwave blew, so this weekend we're getting a new one. My daughter was cleaning it and may have sprayed the vinegar-water through the vent holes. Normally we put a cup of vinegar-water in it and turn it on to clean it, and it works miracles, but this time it started smoking and sparking and I told her to stick it in the pile going into the garbage.<br />
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We got rid of a lot of our stuff. There were various pests in that building and we had no interest in bringing any of them with us. Besides, my dresser and bed were already destroyed by water damage when the roof of the building leaked. Mildew had destroyed half my clothes in my closet, too. And this is the landlord that had the nerve to try to get $2,600 from us for damage to the floor. That didn't work out so well for them. Thankfully they were nice enough to allow us to stay on a couple extra months when I injured my knee so badly I couldn't get down the stairs.<br />
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As luck would have it, though, that delay from my injury was a blessing. Not that I enjoyed the pain or anything, but the delay is how we ended up finding a really great apartment. We went to look at two that day, and we figured from the address that the first one would be a dump and the second would be decent enough. It turned out that the first one was amazing. We were really surprised by it. We still went to see the other place, but I called the guy from the first place right after our second viewing and told him we wanted the place. The rent was higher, but all utilities are included and we also have central air. We no longer have to throw in a window unit. Yippee. In fact, we gave that window unit away by sticking a sign on it and putting it in the hallway of the old building. It was gone in less than 24 hours.<br />
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We're still really thrilled with the new place. Every floor is tile. My bedroom has a ten-foot ceiling, which echoes like mad right now, but once I get a painting or two on the wall, and buy the area rug I want, it should be awesome. I'm going back to having a queen-size bed again in a couple of weeks. The room is huge, in addition to the high ceiling, so I now need furniture to fill it up. Thankfully the landlords left a wardrobe, a couple of bookshelves, a nice table and chairs, curtains on all the windows except one, and a couple of area rugs. The urgent stuff is no longer an issue.<br />
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We haven't unpacked fully, yet, but we've unpacked more here than we did at the old place in nearly 3 years. Hopefully we'll get everything done this weekend, as we'll have been here two weeks by Sunday. We're actually going to hire a friend of my daughter to come in and clean at least once a month. My daughter's back at work with hours that are a crazy mix of continental days and nights, so she needs her time off to adjust between shifts, and I'm just not capable of cleaning a whole house anymore. We've been keeping up with the animals rather religiously, however. The ferrets are doing well with their puppy pads, and the cat was never a problem with her litter box. Apparently the people who lived here before wouldn't change their cat's litter, and so the landlord warned us ahead of time that we needed to keep everything really clean, especially since they'd never seen a ferret before. They haven't had any complaints thus far, so hopefully we're doing okay with that.<br />
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For the first time in about four years, we have a decent place to live. Actually, it's closer to seven years. The place was clean when we moved in. It smells and feels clean, and it's done up pretty nicely. I'll be pleased to have people come over and visit, instead of being ashamed of it. It's a huge change in mindset for me, and a great step toward regaining happiness in my life.<br />
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Another positive is that I finally got in to the orthopedic surgeon. He's sending me to a group of doctors that will administer long-acting anesthetic injections, guided by ultrasound. I've got about four different problems with my hip joints, apparently, and so they want to deal with the pain first. Once the pain is eased, I can fix one of the problems myself - lack of exercise. It won't matter anymore that I may be causing further damage by walking around, because it won't hurt and they're going to fix it at some point. My muscles have been atrophying for some time now, including the stabilizer muscles, so I'm looking forward to being able to exercise again. I miss it.<br />
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I still won't be able to do my belly dancing until they fix the issue with my joints locking up, because my legs simply won't do what the need to do right now, but maybe I can do a limited amount. Dancing is something I miss more than anything. I've been dancing in one form or another since I was a small child, and to have that taken from me is painful. I can wiggle my hips on the dance floor at a club or something, but I can't do anything that requires real skill.<br />
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I go for the shots on July 3rd, so we'll see how that goes. In the meantime I'm catching up on my reading and getting comfortable in our new home. We have office space now, which is awesome. I just can't really use it yet. I need a proper desk and office chair. I bought an office chair from Staples a while back, but it doesn't tilt back far enough so it's uncomfortable for me. I do have a table I can use, but no chairs that will really work with it. Then I have to set up something for sound-proofing, or at least noise-reduction. I'm doing the intros for all the shows now, and I do other voiceover stuff, so I want to be able to record quality audio. I've done the last two in my bedroom, and the echo was pretty bad. I can get rid of some of it, but it's better to not have it in the first place.<br />
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So I finally have peace in my life again. The stress of hearing people yelling in the hallway, swearing, coming in drunk in the middle of the night and carrying on loud conversations with other neighbours, people smoking in the hall so it surges into our apartment, and who-has-the-loudest-stereo competitions late at night - those are all things I do not need in my life. I despised living there, and the tension built up so much that I'm still letting go of it now. Situational depression, even when the situation is gone, doesn't just magically disappear. Your behaviour becomes habitual in response, so those habits have to be broken. I cringe when I hear noises, still. Our only neighbours in the building are our landlords, and they live upstairs so we hear their dog barking and their voices when they talk loudly, so it trips the switch a little, but once I realized that was their natural speech pattern I was fine with it. I just hate people fighting. Drama is not something I seek out in life.<br />
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Now that a large number of problems have either been solved, or are about to be, I'm looking forward to seeing what I can make of my life once again. Giddyup!Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-65324344120420732312015-05-14T15:22:00.000-04:002015-05-15T22:15:37.650-04:00A Current Outsider's Perspective on America's Political SituationI'm not American, as my regular readers know, but I dabble in politics and you can't really avoid American politics no matter what country you're from. What they do affects the rest of the world in big and small ways. For the last couple of years I've been watching the US pretty closely, and what I've seen has been very disturbing. I was already well aware of certain tendencies within American culture that would most likely lead to the degradation of the country, but there's been a very sharp downturn recently.<br />
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There's been a lot of talk about the disappearance of the middle class in America, and it's not a fallacy. It's getting to the point where people are either poor or they're extremely rich, and the vast majority are <i>very </i>poor. When you work full-time and can't afford to pay your rent and utility bills, and still buy groceries, there's a serious problem. Sadly those in higher income brackets fail to see (or care, perhaps) that this is a self-defeating system. After all, if you squeeze every drop of money out of people for basic necessities, they have nothing left over for luxuries of any kind and they don't spend the money that fuels the economy. Eventually the machine is going to break down.<br />
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There are a lot of other problems, but the inability to secure a living wage is the biggest one, because it means there are kids going hungry, people without healthcare and losing their teeth. School programs are being gutted, and the curriculum is geared toward indoctrination rather than education. In some places it's even worse, because the indoctrination comes in the form of religion that contradicts known scientific fact. It's bad enough that people are uneducated. Now they're being mis-educated. At the moment there's a very large number of people who truly believe science has no place in the public school system, and religion is the true story.<br />
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Never mind my own personal bias against organized religion - and I freely admit I have one. Let's just look at the big picture. Mis-education is creating states that will have generations of people believing scientific facts to be lies. The United States competes in a global market. How does it expect to continue being competitive when other countries are not only teaching the science these kids need to learn, but other countries are offering free university and college education? The answer is that they won't. While politicians are debating religious dogma, the rest of the world is zipping on by. While politicians debate the reality of global warming and climate change, the rest of the world is looking for (and finding) the answers. Countries all over the world are reducing their dependency on fossil fuel products, and Americans are becoming more dependent.<br />
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Mainstream media in the US is too afraid to upset the corporations that sink millions of dollars into advertising on their networks, to subvert the propaganda they're spreading about sustainable energy. So there's still a large portion of the population that believes we're not in an ecological crisis at this very moment. They've become blind to the massively lower water levels in California, and the 4-year drought that's going to make food so expensive only the rich will be able to eat. Now they're predicting that California only has a year of water left, but Nestle is sucking it up to bottle it.<br />
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Corporations are controlling every aspect of American lives. Some people are starting to understand that, but so many people still believe what's being broadcast on so-called news programs. I've lost count of the number of studies I've seen that talk about how low the percentage is for truth actually being broadcast. Most news is opinion-based in the US now, much of it is outright deception, and every once in a while they throw in a small grain of truth to confuse everyone. Then that small grain gets lost in the avalanche of dishonesty.<br />
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Admittedly it's not easy to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help you. It's not so hard to be honest in some ways, by making the choice never to lie. However, even if we think we're telling the truth, it's only the truth as we know it and perceive it. We can't possibly know the whole story. Even people who are right there when something happens only see their version of it. Witness testimony is always suspect and inherently flawed by our own biases. All we can do is try to be as thorough and as honest as possible, but frankly mainstream media has no interest in adhering to a policy like that.<br />
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What's needed in the US now is not just a strong middle class, but also to have the poorest among its population still being able to survive. Working a 40-hour week should be enough to do that. I believe in a fair minimum wage. If a company can't pay someone that much, then they either need to raise their prices or bow out of the business altogether. If people don't want to pay an extra 50 cents for a burger or a coffee so that the person behind the counter can afford to buy formula for their baby, then they shouldn't be going out to eat or drink. I've always had that attitude when it comes to service employees. When I go out to eat I tip at least 15% unless the server was purposely terrible. I do the same with cab drivers because I know very well how little they make. My second husband drove a cab, and was stuck paying for fuel out of those tips. I figure if I can afford to buy pizza or whatever, the tip is a part of that expense.<br />
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The second thing they need to do is get corporate money out of politics altogether. This isn't a new idea. What I don't understand is how it ever happened in the first place. Did they not realize the danger? Didn't they know there would be favouritism for big donors? Do the citizens not understand why their politicians are voting against what the people actually want for their country?<br />
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Then there are the big banks that are ripping everyone off. Having people who deal with money that are as unregulated as the financial industry in the US, is sheer idiocy. Bill Clinton drove the nail into the coffin that Reagan built with respect to all that, and it needs to be overturned, along with the aforementioned corporate sponsorship of politicians. I'm sure many Canadians, if they understood it, would hate the thought that they pay for the campaigns of their politicians, but the alternative is unacceptable. Sure we cover that with our taxes, but it's an extremely small bite considering the cap they have on spending, and it means corporations aren't buying/bribing our government officials - in that way anyway. We the people own the rights to our government, and that's as it should be.<br />
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So along comes Bernie Sanders. I've been seeing him around the internet for a while now, and the more I learn about him the more I perceive him as the ideal candidate for POTUS. He just announced his run a little while ago, and the media sort of laughed him off at first, until the figures for his campaign donations were announced from the first 24 hours. He received more money than every one of the Republican candidates, his average donation was $43, and it was regular people who were sending him the money. Obviously he had a lot of donors. This is a man who understands that he works for the taxpayers. He's not royalty looking down his nose at his constituents.<br />
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A look at Hillary Clinton's campaign funding makes me shudder in sympathy for my American friends. All but one of her top ten contributors are big banks. I don't like her, and I never have. She flip-flops with the wind. She sold out on healthcare many years ago, and she's sold out on other things since. She can't even settle on what name she's using, because she bases it on what she thinks will garner her the highest approval rating rather than on what she really believes. I may be a feminist who looks forward to the day when females are elected as leaders as often as males, but that doesn't mean I want the wrong woman voted in just because of her gender. I want the right <i>person</i> in office, regardless of their anatomy.<br />
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As for the Republican candidates, I don't get it. I do not understand why any of them would have enough people backing them that they could even throw their hat in. Religious zeal is only one of the issues they're having. Not everyone is a Christian, and the recent news that Christianity in America is losing ground should be a red flag for them. Campaigning with religion as your hook isn't going to get you far. One big reason for that, which is also a reason the Republicans are in so much trouble with voters, is feminism. Women are subjugated in almost every religion ever invented. There are a few that do not, though they're not widely accepted as religions, and have few practitioners. If you go around beating the drum for Christianity or any faith that doesn't respect women, there are going to be a lot of women who want nothing to do with you. And that's not even getting into the hundreds of anti-woman bills that were introduced in 2014 by Republican politicians.<br />
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If the Republicans are to have any hope of securing the top political seat, they need to find someone who isn't going to offend women, LGBT, rape victims, people of colour, people who practice religions other than Christianity, and poor people. Their entire support system seems to be comprised of white, heterosexual, Christian, non-disabled, entitled males (and they don't make up a huge portion of the American population). A couple of them thought they were being funny or something when they started talking about how old and ugly Hillary Clinton is, yet there isn't one among the males that doesn't appear as though he's been beaten with the ugly stick and nobody thinks that impacts their abilities in any way. Insulting Clinton's appearance and age are going to backfire severely if they don't put a stop to it. It amounts to name-calling at a high-school level. If they can't debate the issues any more intelligently than that, I don't see how anyone could believe they're smart enough to run a country.<br />
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And back to Bernie Sanders. Do some research if you don't believe me, but this is a man who has been saying the same things his entire political life. And finally people are listening and starting to realize that he's most likely right. I truly believe he is the one person who might be able to get America back on track. On the international stage I'm sorry to say that the US has lost almost all respect. Maybe it's not fair, but a lot of it is a kind of pettiness because America tooted its own horn for so long, telling everyone it was the greatest country in the world, and now that inspires people to cheer when they see it faltering. Pride goeth before a fall, to paraphrase Proverbs, and there are a lot of countries out there that would all too happily give them a surreptitious shove. Kind of like going to your high school reunion and finding out that the prom king is now 300 pounds and sells shoes for a living. You start hearing, "Nah nah nah nah nah nah," in your head.<br />
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The problem with that is, America still hold the key to a great deal of security in the world. When they're stable the rest of the world can latch on and be okay. When they're not stable it's like being in an earthquake and having the ground fall from beneath you. So many things in America impact every country on earth. Unless we're willing to see our own countries suffer, we should be cheering on the States and helping them pull themselves together, rather than sticking out our foot to trip them up. We've got a giant rogue army taking over the middle east, sawing off people's heads. What do we think is going to happen if America is no longer a threat to them?<br />
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In all sincerity and seriousness, America needs to get back on its collective feet. The infighting weakens it on the public stage, especially in the age of the internet where everyone gets to see what's going on. Rumours start flying about every little scandal, and everyone has an opinion before the facts are even released. It's one reason I never weighed in on the whole issue of the so-called wave of killings by police officers. When you start to look closely at those situations, and then go over the statistics, there really hasn't been any sudden changes or increases. The difference lies in the focus. Thank mainstream media for turning every molehill into a mountain. Yes, every life is important, whatever race, colour or creed. I agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly, but we have to look beyond what the media wants to show us.<br />
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Corporations that control the media are not doing their country any favours, and truthfully they don't really care. They're interested in nothing but pure profit. They don't care if America is reduced to ashes. They build their business on the backs of fellow Americans, they squeeze out their profits, and then they take their money and stick it in offshore accounts. They move their headquarters to Canada because they prefer our less-complicated tax system, or they go to another country where the taxes are laughable. Their gratitude to the people that gave them their billions is non-existent.<br />
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Frankly I don't want those companies in Canada. When I sell products to American customers, I'm required to pay taxes on that. Royalties through Amazon book sales are taxed through the IRS - I haven't published a book yet, but they've already got my tax information for when that day comes. I don't mind one bit. If I make a profit in a country, then I'm using or doing something that has been created through taxation and socialism, like postal services, or the roads that are used for shipping my items to customers. I have to pay for that, and I should, so corporations that don't pay for it really burn my ass because they can well afford to. Instead of giving back to the community that made them what they are, they take the money and run. It's contemptible, and tells you their true morality. If corporations are people and there is a God, then they're going straight to Hell.<br />
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America has the foundation to make a comeback, despite the cracks in it. And whether or not they like socialism, I believe we all have to help one another. Socialism builds the roads we drive on, and the services we use, but it can also be a way to accomplish the big things, like protecting the rest of the world from the Islamic State and keeping the world economy stable. In my electronic travels I've made some very good friends, and many of those friends are American. I care what happens to them, and it doesn't matter to me that we don't share a country. We do share a planet and personal experiences. We share resources. We share technology and the responsibility of cleaning up our ecosystem. Without international cooperation and aid, we would all have faltered long ago, but I think we keep forgetting that. Our trade agreements allow us to have so many of the luxuries and necessities that we currently enjoy.<br />
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I'm very proud to be a Canadian, but (even if it perhaps sounds silly) I'm also proud to be a Terran. I want my whole planet to experience all the happiness and security we're capable of. Linux users have heard of Ubuntu, which is a computer operating system used in lieu of Windows or Mac OS on Linux-based systems. However, many people don't know the meaning behind the word Ubuntu. In short it means, "Humanity to others." The longer version is, "I am what I am because of who we all are." There's a story that goes along with that about the sharing of apples between three friends and their refusal to race and have one of them win all the apples because the one couldn't be happy if the other two were not. I think this is a truism of our world. We will never experience happiness the way we were meant to until everyone who shares our world has that same freedom. How can we sit, greedily eating all the apples while our friends have nothing?Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-27991932659087156922015-04-20T20:09:00.000-04:002015-04-20T20:09:24.341-04:00Brushing Up Against Rental FraudThe phrase, "Too good to be true," was invented for a reason. Seriously. With my daughter and I looking for a new apartment, and not having a lot of time left to do it in unless we talk our current landlord into letting us stay another month, we're looking at every advertisement online and culling out anything that seems decent. I'm even going into strange rental sections on Kijiji, like "Others," just for the hell of it.<br />
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It was there we found the apartment of our dreams. Or so one might think. However, it could easily have turned into a nightmare if I were of a less suspicious bent. Believe me when I tell you there are con-artists everywhere, and it's our disbelief that anything so unusual could happen to us that aids them in their victimization.<br />
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Imagine this, if you will:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, all appliances, all furniture, all utilities included. [Insert stunning description here along with 5 equally stunning photographs.] $819.00 per month.</blockquote>
Contact is made via e-mail, and more photos are sent. They're not looking to make a profit, or turn it into a business, etc. They just want the apartment rented out to someone responsible so it's not sitting there empty. They will buy a plane ticket to come show you the place, but they need you to do them a favour and place an ad for their spouse's old apartment - apparently they are unable to do so because they are currently overseas and the classified ad website will not allow people overseas to place ads on the Canadian site. They dangle the carrot of removing the ad so that you'll be the only prospective tenant.<br />
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Being of a suspicious and cynical nature, I took a good look at the ad before I even contacted them the first time. I decided I might as well check it out. If it was a scam, no harm done. Being of that suspicious and cynical nature, I did not send them anything other than our names and phone number, and I wasn't about to send anyone any money, so I wasn't concerned.<br />
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The first response was a long e-mail, and asked us to let them know if we're interested. I said I was, and we wanted to view the place. I asked them to send the application, because I figured we could fill it out and give it to them when we saw the apartment. (I wasn't sending them anything with personal details by e-mail.) The 'application' was a few questions in their reply e-mail, along with a request for a picture (that was not mandatory). I replied vaguely, saying my daughter has a full-time job in a factory and I'm on disability. When I came to the question about references I said I would provide references when we viewed the place. With my name and references they would be able to obtain my current address, and it's more information than I want a stranger to have through these means.<br />
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No, I didn't send a picture. I couldn't see any valid reason why a prospective landlord would need a picture, and believe me when I say that sent up big red flags with sirens blaring and strobes flashing. My first thought was that the place might be real, but have hidden cameras for underground porn videos of the peeping Tom variety. So I figured if we viewed the place I'd be looking very carefully at mirror placement, and behind anything mounted on the walls.<br />
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The next e-mail was when they said they're more than happy to book a flight back here to show us the apartment, but they needed our help in placing an ad for his wife's old place so they can take care of that at the same time. Yeah...right. Just like the people who have fifteen million dollars waiting to be taken out of a bank account, but they need you to do it for them, and it doesn't look like they're asking much - and certainly nothing that will cost you anything - but it generally results in a person being stripped of their life savings.<br />
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My response was polite, because it's just barely possible the apartment is real. However, I made it clear that it was their responsibility to be available for viewings, and if they found it inconvenient to do so, they could hire a property management firm. They have the added benefit of being licensed, and can run credit checks for prospective tenants as well. Or they could book a whole bunch of viewings all at once. This person said in the last e-mail that 'he' had come up here once before and the person hadn't shown up - gee, people who break promises? Who'da thunkit? This is an old trick used by scammers who are trying to reassure someone by showing they know how that feels, and implies that they, themselves, would never do such a thing.<br />
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I also made it clear that, whatever they wrote in an e-mail, we did not know them. We were not going to place an ad for them which might result either in us being victimized or being accused of collaboration in a scheme meant to defraud others. I apologized, just in case they were on the level, but I very much doubt that they were.<br />
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After sending that last e-mail I started to do some research. I found an <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/online-rental-scam-a-nasty-1200-lesson-51470332.html" target="_blank">article in the Winnipeg Free Press</a> newspaper from 2009. It details how a woman lost $1200 in almost identical circumstances. In her case the gentleman had relocated from Winnipeg to New Jersey, but was currently in London. She sent $800 for a month's rent, and $400 for a damage deposit. When she requested keys he demanded another $1200 before he was apparently willing to send them. Once the situation was investigated it was discovered that there was no one in the building by that name, and it was managed by a property management firm with no ties to this person. The police could do nothing. After all, she had sent her money out of the country.<br />
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Kijiji warns on every page that a person should never give money to someone they haven't met in person. Their classified ads are meant for person-to-person sales, whether it's an apartment or a bicycle. Near-identical ads for 'dream' apartments have appeared in major cities all over Canada, and I don't doubt that they appear in most other countries as well.<br />
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People want to believe they've found a place to live. It hits in a vulnerable area, especially during a time when it's difficult to find an apartment. In the last two and a half years since we moved into this apartment, rent prices have gone up considerably, and apartments are taken almost as soon as the ads appear. Then if you find yourself in a situation where you might not have a place to live in a couple of weeks, you really want to believe that this wonderful place is sitting there just for you. An answer to a prayer, basically. The thought of being homeless scares the crap out of pretty much anyone, and who can blame them?<br />
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Still, there are a few hard and fast rules out there if you don't want to be a victim. The biggest one is that you should never trust anyone without reason. I mean, geez people! Why would you send money to someone outside the country for a place you've never even been in? An apartment has to be viewed in person. I'm sorry, but that's the reality. Even real ads will often show an apartment that isn't the one that's available. Management companies have show suites. Even when you go to view an apartment, they often show one that has the same floor plan, but isn't the one you'll be renting. That's pretty standard for big buildings, so then you have to do a walk-through of your actual apartment to list any damage that's already there.<br />
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Trust is earned. It takes time to develop. Not everyone is trustworthy. In fact, a very large portion of the population cannot be trusted. I personally believe no one can be trusted for everything. Every human has flaws, and there are certain things each person can't be trusted with. It all depends on their personality type. Some can't be trusted to pay their bills exactly on time, even if they do eventually pay them. Some people don't do things they're supposed to do by the time they say they'll do them. Some people show up late. Everyone has flaws, and those are the things that can't be trusted in that person, but they may be completely trustworthy in every other way. Some people you could loan a million dollars to, and they would pay back every penny with interest, but you know they're always going to blab secrets.<br />
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It takes time to know the flaws of a person, and thereby know which things can be trusted about them, and which things can't. Trusting anyone without knowing them is ridiculous. The woman in the above-mentioned article said she trusted the person she sent money to because he claimed to be a Christian. Really? Wow. I can claim to be Jesus Christ, but that doesn't make it true. In fact, I would be less likely to trust someone because they're religious, than I would if they said they were atheists. I do not like organized religions, so I have a huge bias there.<br />
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Though I might vaguely feel sorry for anyone who has been ripped off, there's a larger part of me that thinks, "What the hell were you thinking?" Then my sympathy tends to dry up. When it's someone of diminished capacity who is scammed, I feel terrible for them, but with the general population I feel mostly disgusted that they're not using their critical thinking skills. Of course, lack of critical thinking is something that drives me crazy to begin with. It's the reason the vast majority of people believe what's reported on the news. In the US they're not obligated to tell the truth, yet people still believe what they're saying. In Canada that's against the CRTC regulations, and results in fines and other penalties, but that does not mean they don't unknowingly report a falsehood - because it's quite possible those who wrote the stories in the first place weren't using their critical thinking skills and didn't thoroughly investigate their sources. They might report the truth as they know it, but it's quite likely not the whole story.<br />
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My basic point is exactly what I said in my very first sentence. Too good to be true is always too good to be true. Follow your instincts, use your brain, question everything, and don't give people money for anything they're not handing to you right then and there. Even when you're doing business with people you know (perhaps especially when you know them), you don't pay them until they've given you what you're paying for - whether it's a service or an item. I offer website design and maintenance as a service, but I certainly don't expect anyone to pay me for something I haven't done yet. Some companies may require a deposit, but it's not necessary. Not when you can build the site and not post it, but still show your client what it will look like once it's published, and there are other ways web designers can protect themselves if their clients don't pay.<br />
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In all business dealings (and renting an apartment is a contract just like any other) both parties should be able to provide proof that they're on the level. An apartment is visible proof. If you don't see the place with your own eyes, there's a good possibility it doesn't exist. On the landlord's end of things, they're well within their rights to take a look at your identification and do a credit and reference check. Don't be afraid to offend someone. Honest people will understand and respect skepticism if you're polite about it. It's only the dishonest ones who will react defensively and get angry - most likely because they see their scam falling apart and realize the money they foresaw is slipping through their fingers.<br />
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In our case I would expect that this supposed landlord would respect the fact that I'm mature and responsible enough to be careful with regard to my personal information and my money. If I just gave out money to everyone, it would show an obvious lack or responsibility and maturity. Sadly, there will be people desperate enough and gullible enough, who so badly want to believe their dreams have come true, that they will fork over most of their savings to secure a non-existent apartment. I'm not immune to those feelings myself, and I hoped we weren't being scammed. I was polite in my last e-mail because a tiny part of me still hoped it was real. This was before I started researching rental scams and saw the various articles about the different ways people got fleeced. Then I started to see the similarities.<br />
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What's funny is that I'm a huge believer in doing things online. I buy groceries that way sometimes, and have them delivered. I shop online for other things, paying for my items electronically. I honestly do not have to leave the house if I don't want to, though you pay a little more sometimes for that privilege. Maybe it's being experienced in the ways of online retail that helps me weed out the scams. The worst thing that ever happened to me was that a ring I ordered from eBay was never delivered, and since I only paid about $10 for it I wasn't all that concerned, particularly since I'd ordered a bunch of other stuff at the same time and sort of forgot I was expecting it.<br />
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In fact we just ordered dinner online, but I'm pretty sure they're going to deliver it since we haven't given them any money yet.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-21151934379095792752015-04-19T00:07:00.000-04:002015-04-19T00:07:01.260-04:00Lying on My Back Isn't as Fun as it Should Be, but I Still Feel Great!Apparently I need to learn how to walk again. It's become my arch-nemesis. I used to be an athlete, and I never injured myself as badly as I have just walking. A few weeks ago I slipped and did a number on my knee, but it's not the first time I've caused major damage when I should be safe from myself.<br />
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This, of course, is the reason I haven't been around lately. I've barely been on Facebook, and that only because I finally bought a new smartphone. I hate typing on the damn thing, because a touchscreen keyboard really sucks. I prefer actual keys so I know what I'm pressing. Still, it's a temporary phone until I can afford the BlackBerry I really want. I had to cave and get a cheap Sony phone to tide me over, but at least my daughter will like it for the PlayStation aspect when I turn it over to her.<br />
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I'm finally back in a chair, instead of lying on my back for all the wrong reasons. I had to have my knee propped up, and was on crutches until a little over a week ago. Even now I'm really careful about what I do with that leg. Twisting it, or letting it go into the locked position, is something I avoid at all costs. Life doesn't stop because you've got a funky pin, however, so I've got no choice to get moving on things.<br />
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Speaking of moving, the landlord was sympathetic enough to let us stay another month because there was no way I could move like that. Now we're struggling to find an apartment, but a lot of that has to do with me hating that kind of thing. I have to force myself to spend just one day making all the calls I need to make. I've got a great list of places to call, at least. Technology is awesome. You don't even have to go anywhere to see what a place looks like. You can weed out the ones that are completely unsuitable. Some sites have walk-through videos which are even better than pictures.<br />
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So, hopefully in less than two weeks we can get our butts into a better apartment. I don't even want to talk about why this apartment is so terrible. It's embarrassing. Let's just say we've made friends with the mice, but there are other friendships we're not willing to consider.<br />
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The great thing is, I've suddenly started feeling really good again. I had to rebook a specialist appointment because I couldn't get down the stairs of my building, but on May 14th I finally see one of the best surgeons in Canada. I have hope in sight. My life is just over the horizon. I've tried to live as much as I can in my current situation, and keep my spirits up, but it's not easy when you feel like everything wonderful has been taken from you. Now I feel like everything wonderful will be mine again, and the appreciation and anticipation are enough to get me off my butt to move my life forward again.<br />
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I haven't been myself for a very long time. Now I'm gulping down the air and my mind is bursting with everything I'm going to do. There are things I've been doing already. I didn't just lie down and die or anything. I mean, I was writing, I've been producing The Kovacs Perspective for more than two years now and taking it in a new direction with my partner, and I've been planning my future and looking forward to a time when I would be pain- and drug-free. When I say drugs, I'm talking about prescription and over-the-counter, not illicit. Not that I'm pure there, but it's been many years since I delved into that goodie bag. A lot of people smoke pot to help with pain, but it has never helped my pain and I hated the way I felt on it so I don't bother with it.<br />
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It's kind of like the air is fresh, even when it's not. I'm gulping down a mouthful of freedom I guess. I've been feeling trapped in my life, even knowing it was temporary. Knowing the cage door is about to open is a heady experience.<br />
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Whatever you do in life, appreciate every advantage you might have. If you can walk, be thankful for where your legs can take you. If you can hear, be thankful for the music that can fill up your life and the voices of loved ones. If you can see, relish the beauty of the world, whether it's by reading an amazing book or watching a sunset over the water. No matter what has happened to you, what you may have lost, remember the things you still have. That's the only thing that's kept me going the last few years, having to wait to regain the full use of my body and mental faculties (which have been dimmed by the medication needed to handle the pain). Well, my ferrets have been a huge help, too, so I can't forget them. They make me laugh when nothing else is funny.<br />
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One of the hardest things to deal with when encumbered by something that restricts your life, and especially something that causes chronic pain, is the emotional toll it takes. Most people suffer situational depression, and I'm no exception there. The problem is, if you tell your healthcare provider what you're feeling the first thing they want to do is stick you on anti-depressants. I'd like to know how the hell they think that's going to help. I mean, situational depression is not a chemical imbalance, so treating it with chemicals will do what, exactly? It's just going to screw with your own brain chemistry and add a chemical imbalance you didn't have before.<br />
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That was a lesson I learned when my ex started going through all that with his physical condition. It was severe, painful, caused irreversible damage to his body, and he was understandably miserable. Suddenly the doctor assumed he was going to attempt suicide, and then they took away the pain meds he needs so badly, which of course only made him more miserable. I mean, really! Talk about a stupid way to handle it. Getting rid of the pain is the only solution that works, not allowing a patient to suffer unnecessary pain.<br />
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So I never mentioned the frustration, despair, etc. I've got a lot of emotion locked up inside me now, waiting to be let out. I intend to use it to propel me forward. Back into the life that was delayed for so long. I've still got a bit of waiting to do, but I'm already cutting back on the pain killers. I can stand pain for a while, just not long-term when it starts driving me crazy, and as soon as my injuries are repaired I want to be able to get back to my life. I don't want to have to wean myself off the drugs then, because that would only delay me further. The drugs I take affect my ability to think clearly, and to me that's almost as intolerable as the pain. I have an affection for my strange little brain, so I'd like to get back in touch with it as soon as possible. My concentration has been shot, and there have been some projects I've put on the back burner because I just can't deal with the steep learning curve right now. I've got new software to learn, and courses to take.<br />
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Still, I can only be grateful and appreciative that there's an end to the misery in sight for me. There are too many people out there who know they're stuck in their situations for the rest of their lives. They're forced to make the best of it and fight off the inevitable depression. I think I could cope with almost anything except permanent pain, though I've dealt with pain most of my life so maybe I could cope with that, too. I just don't want to have to, and it looks like I'm going to be one of the lucky ones. Plenty of reason to smile and feel good about the future opening up before me.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-48308891416390010092015-02-21T16:33:00.001-05:002015-02-21T16:33:47.300-05:00Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid - There is No Such Thing as AnonymityWhen I started publishing my writing, I took a step away from my personal information to make it more difficult for anyone to physically find me. I've been stalked before, and I knew the dangers. To this day, however, it scares me when I see how frighteningly easy it is to find people who are online - and even those that aren't. In fact, that's part of my job as a producer for The Kovacs Perspective. Sometimes there is a particular guest we want to have on the show, or even just an expert on a particular topic, that doesn't come through our usual route for guests. Then I have to go online and find their contact information. It usually takes me less than five minutes, even if I don't know their name when I start out.<br />
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That should scare you. Yes, you. Every one of my readers needs to understand how easy it is to find someone online. I can track down almost anyone, and I do not have access to police searches. Nor do I subscribe to any credit reporting service. I Google it. If a person is online in any fashion, their contact information is usually there for the taking. If someone even mentions their name online, I can find them. It happened today, in fact, when I was looking for a guest for the show.<br />
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Admittedly I have very good research skills, but you don't even have to know how to use any of Google's advanced search options. I used them years ago, but now I don't even bother. I don't have to. I don't think there is anyone that I have looked for that I haven't been able to find. Even people who do not have Facebook or Twitter accounts.<br />
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Some people just shrug their shoulders at this - either because they don't understand the danger, or because they're already cynical about it. I can only be grateful that my stalker did not have access to the tools back then, that I have access to now. It was more than twenty years ago, and the internet wasn't in everyone's home yet. My parents had it, but I didn't know anyone else that did. I didn't even know how to use it, because I didn't live with them anyone. It certainly wasn't the indispensable tool then that it is now.<br />
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Imagine, though, that you've got a neighbour who doesn't like you. Maybe they don't even know your name, because you've never introduced yourself. A quick look online to match your address to a name listed in the White Pages, and suddenly they're harassing you on social media because you waited an hour longer than usual to bring your garbage can inside. Yes, I've had neighbours that were like that. Not that incident specifically, but similar in magnitude. They didn't like how fast I drove up to my house in my own driveway. Confused? Yeah, so was I. They almost killed a couple of friends of mine by messing with the tires on my car, which later caused it to flip over multiple times. It was a very good thing they were wearing their seat belts. They also thought it was a lark to siphon gas from my car, leaving me stranded many miles from a gas station.<br />
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Those kinds of people are everywhere in the world. They think you looked at them funny one day, and suddenly they're justified in taking a crazy revenge on you, when what you were really thinking about at the time was that you forgot to buy sugar and you were really ticked at yourself. Now you have a mortal enemy you were completely unaware of making.<br />
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The fact that I'm very opinionated about certain things and express those views online, makes me a target as well, but at least I went into that knowingly. Every once in a while I have to take a break from it, because I don't enjoy being called names. However, my beliefs don't just disappear because someone calls me a political psycho or an idiot. It's kind of like what Jon Stewart said about values.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipoeQtiO29WXKv8kBJ46XMul1dWxv1DFWHYyB2k79rZqx_CL06ARcgjEASY5eiafcpsyWkJcE5sN6-Z3qXB2MErw4XIVrg4O1ZlYpzEp8BjTDSL8uzoDhxznBHSRE1sCihzKD4cVDHRYxq/s1600/JonStewartValuesQuote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipoeQtiO29WXKv8kBJ46XMul1dWxv1DFWHYyB2k79rZqx_CL06ARcgjEASY5eiafcpsyWkJcE5sN6-Z3qXB2MErw4XIVrg4O1ZlYpzEp8BjTDSL8uzoDhxznBHSRE1sCihzKD4cVDHRYxq/s1600/JonStewartValuesQuote.jpg" height="236" width="320" /></a></div>
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I do not consider my values to be hobbies, and though I might not like how people speak to me, and the disrespect I'm occasionally subjected to, I don't generally take it lying down. When I do take a break it's always with the intent of coming back full-strength again.<br />
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I recently did that with Facebook. I was getting some strange characters commenting on some of my threads - people who were not friends of mine, but rather friends of friends. It was getting to me to the point where I stopped being polite and was on the verge of spewing my own vitriol. That's not acceptable behaviour to me, so I walked away, figuratively speaking. This illustrates the complete lack of anonymity perfectly, though. People who don't even know you will spew hatred toward you because they disagree with your views. You can't stop them. You can only resist engaging with them.<br />
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There is a lot of hatred in the world, and a lot of anger. When I say I'm a feminist it raises a lot of hackles. All I mean is that I believe men and women are of equal value and deserve equal treatment. It does not mean I think women are superior, or that men are jerks. It does not mean I'm a lesbian, or that I refuse to shave, though I stand up for the rights of those who are gay or don't want to shave. My ball-busting is limited to those who treat me as less worthy than a male, and I don't care whether it's a male or female engaging in that behaviour. Of course, it helps that I've broken a vast majority of the stereotypes myself, and that provides credibility when I speak.<br />
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I still keep in mind, however, that I should never assume a determined person won't find me. They will. If they really hate me enough, I can be found and my safety can be threatened. I haven't been threatened thus far, and I intend to keep it that way if possible. That means I try to see more than one side of an issue, and acknowledge that others may have good reason for disagreeing with me. I'm not always successful, certainly, but making an effort helps. I've written articles for feminist publications and actually had people thank me for acknowledging the abuse and rape that occurs against men. I've had friends subjected to both that were were male so I'm well aware it happens, and it's no laughing matter when anyone is hurt that way.<br />
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On the flip-side of anonymity, there are also those who perform criminal actions online, and those people can almost always be found as well. Very few people even bother with a proxy server when they commit certain criminal acts. There have been a number of 12-year-old-boy types who have been found that were threatening to rape and kill women. That sort of thing is usually seen in gaming culture. For some reason they think it's okay to issue those threats, and think they're safe from anyone knowing who they are. It's one thing parents need to spend more time actively teaching their kids these days. It wasn't so much of a problem ten years ago when it might have applied to my daughter, because online gaming hadn't hit the levels it has now. I severely restricted her internet time back then, too, to make sure her homework was being done. If it wasn't, she was grounded from her computer for long stretches of time. 'Forever' to a teenager.<br />
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There's a good reason children under the age of thirteen aren't supposed to have a Facebook account. It's bloody dangerous. I honestly think it's a terrible idea for them to have an account before they're legal adults. Pedophiles search for victims online, and find them all too easily. Teenagers think they're invincible, which doesn't help, and they also have no knowledge usually about how to protect their personal information online. I'd be monitoring my daughter's account constantly, if she were still a teenager. She didn't have an account until she was an adult, though it had nothing to do with me. She just didn't want one. Even now she limits it to friends she actually knows, rather than just letting anyone friend her, and she's inherited some of my paranoia about personal information thankfully.<br />
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Even if it's not a stalker looking for you, there are always those that chase down credit card information, or want to steal identities. The latter is very very easy to do, by the way. I know exactly how to do it, though I have not. If you've ever misplaced your wallet, even if it was returned to you, you really need to monitor all activity under your own name, and you may have to do it for the rest of your life. Keep an eye on your credit, and make sure there are no alternative addresses associated with your name. Do yourself a favour and don't keep your birth certificate or SIN or SSN card in your wallet. Only have it with you when you're going to need it for something specific. If someone manages to make a copy of them, they can use that to get other ID, and the ID will be the real deal, unlike having forged documents. This is especially a problem when you can change your information online through official government websites. Their website security will mean little if someone else has all the right information to get past their security checks.<br />
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Here's the bottom line. I'm not some hot blonde that shows her cleavage in every ID photo. I don't do 'duck face'. Ever. I'm not young. I'm not a famous celebrity. I'm not rich. I still take precautions, and so should you. I've chosen to have an online presence in order for my voice to be heard every once in a while, but just because you haven't chosen that doesn't mean you're any less vulnerable than I am. A lot of information will already be available about you online, no
matter what you do. Just don't add to it and make it even easier for
someone to find you Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2934100582264216211.post-46071630274392609472015-02-16T16:07:00.000-05:002015-10-04T00:32:18.840-04:00Stopping the Insidious Craving for Obsessive Love, Stalking and Domestic ViolenceThe massive popularity of <i>50 Shades of Grey</i> is more than a little bit alarming. I have nothing against a little role playing, or even BDSM if that's what you're into in the bedroom. Two consenting adults should be allowed to do whatever they want. The problem I have is when it gets romanticized as a way of life. When a man tells a woman, "I will find you," that's the sign of someone who is seriously mentally disturbed. It's not sexy - it's very, very scary.<br />
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I come from a place of personal experience here. I've been raped, I've been stalked, and I've been held against my will. It was far from being a turn-on, and there's a good reason for that. It's called self-preservation and survival. When you're in a seriously dangerous situation with someone who is unstable, it's pretty damn stupid to want to jump their bones.<br />
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So why do people get off on this kind of thing? Because it's a fantasy. Fantasy is fine, and frankly it's a whole lot of fun. Fantasy with another person can be even more fun and sexy. What it requires, however, is a very deep level of trust. So many people are paying to read <i>50 Shades</i>, and then they're traipsing off to the theatre to see it. Far too many people are thinking it's just opening up people's minds to BDSM. It's not. BDSM needs to remain in the bedroom. When one person in a relationship is being subjugated constantly and it becomes a way of life, eventually that person is going to want to do something their 'master' doesn't want them to do. When that happens the reaction can be terrifying.<br />
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What we need to figure out is why this is still such a prevalent fantasy for women. If you're one of those women, it's extremely important. In fact, it can be life-and-death important. There are women in domestic violence situations who cannot break away because they've been conditioned to believe a man should have control over them. They believe that physical strength in men is to be desired, rather than mental strength. When it comes time to press charges they don't want to, no matter how badly they may have been hurt. Men are constantly forgiven for abuses against the person they're supposed to love and cherish above all others, society passing it off as a private issue.<br />
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I'm not one of those people, and I've personally boycotted any celebrities I'm aware of that have engaged in that sort of behaviour (once it's been proven, of course). I'll never pay for a Mel Gibson movie again in my life, or a Mötley Crüe CD or song as long as Tommy Lee is involved with the project. I don't care if they've gone to jail and 'paid' for their crimes. I don't think the criminal justice system takes it seriously enough, and that's especially true of celebrities with lots of money to spend on high-priced lawyers. Real men do not lay hands on women in anger. They have no need to 'prove' their control over another person. Any man who does this is inherently weak, and is looking for ways to compensate.<br />
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This is what needs to be stressed to both women and men in order to avoid tragedies in the future, such as domestic violence and murder. The perception that a man is strong because he is physically capable of pushing someone around, and that it makes him sexy when he shows how 'manly' he is, is a very big part of the problem. Truly strong people have no need to do this. If more women understood this, they would be much less impressed by physically violent men. Controlling a woman doesn't make a man strong - having no need to control anyone is the true indicator of strength. That's called self-esteem. It's only the men who feel insecure that attempt to control others, in part because they have no control over themselves or their own lives. The more insecure a person is, the more of a control-freak they usually are.<br />
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When you really stop and think about that - I mean sit down and actually concentrate on it - it's not hard to start feeling contempt toward people who behave that way, and it doesn't matter whether it's a man or woman exhibiting the behaviour. When you truly realize that only someone who feels weak will pick on others and bully them, we start to lose respect for them. We can see that they must have serious problems of their own that are triggering the behaviour, and it's less and less likely that we will allow them that control over us. It doesn't apply only to domestic violence, either.<br />
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When it comes to role-playing, there's nothing whatsoever wrong with it. As long as there's a clear delineation between reality and fantasy. Some people enjoy subjugation, but when you take a mental trip and imagine your entire life spent in bending to the will of another, how many people truly want that as a part of their lives? What happens when you come home from a job you love, and your partner tells you that you have to quit so you can serve them? What happens when you're not allowed to see friends and family members that you love? What happens when you start having to explain the bruises to other people? Are you going to start lying and covering up? If your response to a query is simply a smirk and a fond memory of the night before, that's fine. If your response is along the lines of fearing what will happen if others find out, maybe you need to do some serious thinking about where you want your relationship to go, or if you want it going anywhere.Torrential Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04106845715784027176noreply@blogger.com0