I Never Thought I'd Hear That One!

"Why are all the hot guys your age?" This is a question my daughter asked me today when we were talking about movies to watch, and the actors in them. I have to say my jaw dropped a bit. She's 23 and I'm 41. (Yes, yes, I was young when she was born - I'd been 18 for just under two months.) Because we're so close in age, we share a lot of interests, which is awesome, but I never thought I'd hear her say something along those lines.

The discussion began with Looper, which we will most likely be watching tonight, which of course opened up the topic of Bruce Willis. Then she mentioned Sam Worthington, who is quite a bit older than I thought he was. Bruce Willis is actually older than I thought, too, but then I'm older than I like to think I am so that's okay.

We started listing some of the male celebrities we find attractive, which also included Hugh Jackman in the group around my age. The only name we could come up with that was more in her age group was Chris Hemsworth, since he's only 6 years older than my daughter.

I'm the type of person who is unwilling to date men who are a great deal younger than me. I can't even imagine dating someone who is ten years young, although I did date a man once who was eleven years older, and that was when I was about twenty years old. That's a pretty big discrepancy for a twenty-year-old. At my age now it's really not. Back then it was, and I thought less of him even then because he was willing to date such a young woman.

Part of my squeamishness with drastically younger men, aside from the fact that they haven't got enough life experience to be interesting to me for anything beyond the physical, is the very idea of dating someone young enough to go out with my daughter. It seems really gross to me. If I didn't have a daughter it might not be an issue for me in that respect, but there's still the mental and emotional immaturity to deal with. To be honest, there are even a lot of men my own age that just aren't interesting to me because of their lack of maturity.

I certainly didn't understand the attraction Demi Moore had for Ashton Kutcher, especially after being with Bruce Willis, but that's her issue to contend with. I was actually on a dating site years ago, where a guy sent me a message of interest and he was only about four years older than my daughter. I tried to be nice about it, but I told him I didn't date anyone my daughter's age. He was really offended, and thought I was lying to him. He did the whole posturing thing, talking about it being my loss and all that, which only illustrates my point about maturity. A mature man would have said, "I can understand that," and let it go, but instead he tried to argue with me and made accusations. Really? I mean, he didn't even know me, but was acting like I'd wounded him irreparably.

I also find men in denial to be ridiculous, especially when it comes to hair loss. Please! If you're bald, who the hell cares these days? Again, Bruce Willis comes to mind. My ex was smart about that sort of thing, at least. When he started going bald he shaved his head and kept it that way. It's the trend these days anyway, probably made popular by guys like Bruce Willis and Jason Statham. They certainly don't look like geezers because they have no hair.

Donald Trump, on the other hand, really needs someone to take him in hand and say, "Enough already! It's not a trademark, it's stupid and ugly." There's a Terri Clark song, called Girls Lie Too, that mentions comb-overs in a derogatory fashion. Every time I hear the song it makes me think of Donald Trump.

What I found strange about my daughter's remark was that she would even find guys my age attractive at all. Most younger women really don't. If you see a young woman with an older guy, there's usually money or father-issues involved. They're women who want someone to take care of them. I mean, Bruce Willis will be turning 58 this year. To a young woman that's pretty much a geezer. (The older you get the older a guy has to be before he falls into that category, and for me he doesn't come anywhere near geezer status.) Young women have a tendency to go for pretty boys, too, rather than the character on a man's face.

A healthy body is attractive, of course, seeing as we're hardwired to look for health in prospective partners, and a person's physical fitness level is a symbol of how they feel about themselves. Symmetrical features and chiseled cheekbones, however, have little to do with anything other than the possibility of handing them down to your children. A woman like me, who is beyond a comfortable child-bearing age, doesn't consider them a necessity.

As for what I go for, well, it's definitely the personality and intelligence that are important to me. I don't look for perfection, and would be bored by it if I found it. (Never mind the difficulty in living up to it myself.) Chemistry originates in the brain, not the body. Maybe some of that rubbed off on my daughter, something for which I can only be grateful. Men who don't think they're God's gift are much less likely to take a woman for granted.