Male Chauvinism Without Masculinity

It has occurred to me on numerous occasions that the dating world has changed a great deal.  No big surprise there.  It's just that the things that should change really haven't, and the things that should have been left well enough alone have been altered drastically.  What do I mean by this?  Well, I'm glad you asked.  Now I get to tap my fingers to the bone to explain it all in great detail.

You see, I know some younger women who are in the dating world, and the men are driving them crazy with their neediness these days.  I'm the same way, but I was a bit ahead of my time and my generation, I think.  All of a sudden, now that women realize they don't actually want to live in a guy's back pocket, the men are getting clingy.  There are constant complaints, from the men I mean, that go along the lines of, "You're not spending time with me anymore.  I don't get to see you enough."  Seriously, that's what's coming out of their mouths.  Women are telling men to back off and give them space, while men are grabbing on even tighter.

Psychologically speaking it boils down to wanting what we can't have, and feeling threatened because the person we think we need is showing signs they don't need us.  When that happens we cling.  It isn't just men, but in the dating world it's getting that way.  As far as I can tell it's because women are getting more confident.  They no longer need to find a man to marry them and make babies with them, because they're just as interested in their careers and social lives as the guys are.  Women are fully capable of supporting themselves now, so men are feeling superfluous.  Their identity still seems to be tied up in being the provider and protector, so they need to be needed.  Now that they aren't, they're getting a little weird about it.

Maybe that's where the contradiction lies.  Men who are insecure can behave very chauvinistically in response to a threatening situation.  So, even as they get clingy they start throwing around the vibe that they've got the penis and should be respected accordingly.  Yeah, you swing that thing and see how far it gets you, bud.  That kind of attitude only makes me laugh now, because I see right through it.  Granted, laughter may not be the most sensitive response toward a guy who is already feeling his masculinity is threatened, but here's where I can tell them it's time to grow a pair.  I mean, really, if my laughter is enough to throw off your game, your confidence needs a major overhaul.

Sensitivity gets old fast.  Especially to a woman, I think.  At first it might seem great that someone is in touch with their 'feminine side' or their feelings, but after a few hours of that they stop looking like a man.  They start to resemble kicked puppies, and there's nothing sexy about a kicked puppy.  I noticed myself having the same reaction when I was asked for advice all the time (by a partner/boyfriend/spouse, I mean).  At first it's flattering, and you think, "Wow!  They really respect my opinion."  After a few days, months or years of that you start thinking, "Wow!  This person can't even make the simplest decision on their own.  They have no respect for themselves."  That's when you start feeling like you've become their mother, and again, there's nothing sexy about someone who acts like they're your child.  Yuck!

With all this complaining it's probably a good thing I took myself out of the dating world years ago.  I can't be bothered.  I do not want to spend my time arguing, reassuring, stroking, consoling, and kissing booboos.  If I'd wanted to do more of that I would have had more kids.  Of course, my own kid doesn't require that of me, so I'm not sure why a man should.  I would honestly rather spend my time curled up with my laptop.  I make very good use of it.  Then, of course, there's the battery operated boyfriend, or B.O.B. as it's known.  I even designed a t-shirt on Zazzle that says, "At least my relationship with B.O.B. can be fixed with fresh batteries."  Isn't technology a wonderful thing?