A Smelly Cat and Resolutions for the New Year

I just looked up from my laptop to see my cat barrelling down the hall toward the living room.  Knowing where he was running from, namely the litter box I just heard him scratching at, this prepared me for a lovely wave of aromas. (Yes, that was sarcasm, for those of you who need a sign.) You know a smell is bad when the creature that is responsible for it is running away from it. This is the problem with a feline diet high in protein. It's supposed to be, since cats are obligate carnivores, but that doesn't make the litter smell any better. Supposedly, if you give a cat a food they absorb better, such as a protein-based diet, they have less waste, but I don't think anyone has told my cats yet.

Still, with blood sugar dropping rapidly, I must eat, so it's with much trepidation that I chance peanut butter on crackers. This is one of the pitfalls of being on meds. There are sometimes weird side effects. Every once in a while my blood sugar drop so fast I don't even have a chance to get to the fridge before my whole body is shaking. I mentioned this to my former doctor, who immediately ordered blood work and an ECG. Huh? Blood work, yes, but I don't get the ECG. I'd had one only a few months before, too. There isn't anything wrong with my heart, assuming it's still in there somewhere. They only did the test because I tend to have a bad reaction to anaesthesia, and I was there for a pre-op assessment.

Of course, the other side effect is the ever-present nausea. Between that and my stinky cats, it's a wonder I manage to eat anything at all. I'm a lot thinner than I was a couple of years ago. There just might be a connection. So, for anyone out there who's wondering how to put their New Year's Resolution to lose a few pounds into effect, there's a free tip for you. Not everyone has the same reaction to pain meds, but the cat's a good choice.

I'm looking forward to next year. I haven't made any specific resolutions, but I just wrote an article about that subject (available here). Like a lot of my articles, it was done 'on the fly', and it was a writing assignment, so I was writing about something I normally wouldn't have. Still, it made me think about resolutions, and the fact that people are so hard on themselves. They don't give themselves enough credit for the things they've already accomplished, and focus only on the stuff that they feel they haven't done. As I wrote the article, I talked about that, and about the things I managed to do last year. It made me feel really good about next year's possibilities, knowing what I've achieved against some pretty tough odds. I didn't share everything in the article, nor have I here, because some things are too personal or involve people other than myself, and I don't feel comfortable with what amounts to gossip.

Still, the resolutions are irresistible, so I must make them to feel as if I might actually get further ahead in my life next year. There are a couple of things that are a given. One is to continue my progress regarding the surgeries I need done. The second big one is to help my ferret be healthy again. Health is always the most important issue, and Stimpy and I have some healing and recovering to do.

I would love to be able to say I'm going to start exercising again, but I can't. I mean that literally. I'm not supposed to exercise. I'm not supposed to walk more than absolutely necessary. Until the damage has been repaired in my hip joints, exercise will only make them worse, meaning I'll have even more pain to deal with, and more pain killers to take (or stronger ones). My body can only take so many drugs.

I would also love to be able to say I'm going off my medications. In my youth I'd have used any excuse to be on drugs. I was a bad girl. Later on I lost interest in drugs. Now I want the stupid things gone, but have no choice. Unless, of course, I relish the thought of curling up in a ball on my bed all day, whimpering and crying. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a wimp. I have a very high pain tolerance. I just have a high level of pain. I didn't think childbirth was all that bad, so maybe that gives you an idea what this is like for me. I didn't have any pain relievers at all when I had my daughter, either, but now I'm on Percocets or codeine.

No, exercise and being off the medications will have to wait for the following year most likely. I'll have to wait for full joint recovery for any exercise anyway. The drugs I might be able to toss pretty quick. I just have no timeline I can refer to for that yet.

So, what can I do? Well, I can finish the final draft of my book. That's a big one. I'll need longer periods of lucidity, but hopefully that will come once the first surgery is done and the worst pain is gone. I can edit a book I wrote years ago, or maybe re-write it, getting it ready for submission as well. Doing serious submissions to publishers and agents would be good. Of course, I could just publish them myself. I keep going back and forth on that.

Publishers already have distribution channels and ways to promote the work of their authors, so maybe more copies would sell that way, but pay out less in royalties. Exposure is good, but promotion is still the responsibility of the writer and his or her agent, usually involving a publicist. If a publisher isn't going to do anything to publicize and promote a book, I'm not sure what good they are anymore. Not when you can publish your own stuff for free, and on such a huge forum.

That's probably my biggest goal this year. Publishing a novel is sort of the brass ring for me as a writer. Being able to live off the proceeds would be nice, too. Not that I intend to stop with just one or two books, however. No, this current book is actually the beginning of a series. I just have to be able to think long enough to really focus on it for long periods. When it comes to crime fiction, you have to be so precise with evidence and time-lines. It's not like a romance where they love, then hate, then love, then hate, and then live happily ever after. Crimes have important details that need to be remembered by the author, even if it is fiction.

So, is there anything else I have to do this year? Yup. I have to get everything ready to re-launch my company. There are timing questions regarding the actual launch and whether or not I'll be physically able to do so before the end of 2013, but I can certainly use my fits and starts of productivity to get everything ready to go. I can work on product designs, as well as inventing new items. Yes, I'm an inventor. I get ideas in my head all the time. I can't help it. They're usually the result of something that I find I need, but that doesn't exist yet. I invented a cage cooler, specifically for ferrets, but then realized there weren't any available for other animals either. I'll be going back to the drawing board for that one, and sourcing suppliers for casings.

I also intend to do other online sales, selling products from other manufacturers, which requires less work on my part. I don't really consider that a part of my main business. It's just a way to make some money whenever I'm able to do it.

When it comes to relationships for the new year, it's not something you can really turn into a resolution. Sure, if something great comes along I won't run away from it. I'm not an emotional coward. A bit of excitement would be fine, as long as it comes without drama, but it's not like you can make plans for it. Okay, technically you can sign up for dating sites, or head out to the bar (if you want to meet someone who drinks in their spare time), or go to a matchmaker. The part you can't plan for is the emotional side. You can structure your life so that you're open to a new person being in it, and increase your chances of meeting someone, but you can't say you're going to be madly in love with someone by a specific date. It might make things easier if you could, but that's not how it works.

With the way I'm living right now, I'm not going to go out looking for anything. At the moment it would have to fall into my lap for me to consider it. I'm not going to join any dating sites, and if I happen to get up the energy to go to a bar, that would be a miraculous event in itself. Not that I might find the energy, but that I might bother to expend it for something so silly. The last time I was in a bar was a few years ago, before my injuries crashed in on me. I went out and got more than a little tanked, and laughed like a loon. I had a great time, actually. I have a preternatural awareness of exactly how much I can drink before I cross the I'm-going-to-throw-up line, so when I do drink I don't normally embarrass myself that way. Oddly, I drink very rarely but still have a very high tolerance for the stuff. I'm tipsy after a single drink, but can still drink a lot after that - I may be a cheap drunk, but I maintain well.

Of course, a night of drinking for me would mean taking the night off from my pain killers, too. The liver can only handle so much, along with the rest of the body. I'd rather not have the pain. So, I guess I won't be going out to any New Year's Eve parties, but that's okay. I'm perfectly content spending the evening with my daughter. I can make all the resolutions in the world, but it's our kids that bring us real immortality.