Introducing the Obsession

It occurs to me that I've never written about my ferrets on here.  I try to avoid writing about them too much, because I'm absolutely insane about them.  There's no reason or logic, and the limits disappear so that I ramble incessantly.  Still, they have to be known.  There is a reason I'm so crazy about them.

Stimpy weighs two pounds.  He's tiny for a boy, as they're usually between 3 and 5 pounds.  He's soft as can be, and the sweetest, most adorable creature on the planet.  Every time someone asks me if he bites, I have to laugh.  Even at his most playful he will touch me with his teeth, but never even close his mouth.  He's what they call a sable mitt in North America, which is to say he has the typical ferret markings, with dark guard hairs, white under-hairs, and white mitts.  He has the bandit mask, and occasionally lives up to the reputation of his species by stealing things.

Stimpy in a Basket

Pepper is a sable, and a dark one, who probably weighs 3 or 4 pounds.  He's also not fixed, so he has a pungent aroma when he's in season (generally spring and fall), and he has not been de-scented, so occasionally he 'poofs'.  That's where he got his name, actually.  He poofed while we were still trying to think of one, and it reminded me of Pepe le Pew, so he became Pepper le Pew.  He has a V-shaped mask now, with a mostly white face.  He's not typically a gentle boy, to say the least, and when we first got him he bit us a lot.  Painfully.  Drawing blood occasionally.  He's calmed a lot since then, despite not being fixed yet, and he's gotten rather affectionate, so the biting is few and far between, but when he's really playful he can get in a good nip.  Mind you, he's playing, and that's how ferrets play with each other.  Their skin is thicker than ours, and protected by fur, so they think nothing of chomping on one another, or being chomped, unless it gets out of hand.  They'll drag one another around the house, too, which you wouldn't think is all that much fun, but apparently they enjoy it.

Pepper as a Kit

I got Stimpy a few years ago when a friend of my ex bought him for his daughter, who proceeded to ignore him.  I'd already told him I'd take him if they ever wanted to get rid of him, because there was an instant connection there.  They were keeping him in a fish tank at the time (very bad for them, by the way - no air circulation), and he would instantly climb up my arm if I put my hand in.  He was still a kit when I brought him home, although he was almost fully grown.  They called him Stewart, but I doubted he knew his name if they were ignoring him, so I changed it to something that seemed to fit better.  My ex came up with the idea of Stimpy, and it just seemed perfect for him.

Pepper came to me through my ex again, but long after we'd split up and become friends.  Someone owed him money, and they were talking about getting rid of their ferret.  Either because he was attacking their cats, or their cats were attacking him.  Either is possible.  He's a feisty little boy.  Of course, they thought he was a girl.  About five minutes after my ex dropped him off, I was holding him and looked down to see the tell-tale nubbin in the middle of his belly, often mistaken as a belly button.  It's not.  I laughed and laughed, and then called my ex so he could let his friend know he was a boy.  He joked that they'd probably been playing with his 'belly button'.  It happens, more often than anyone would admit to.  He'd originally been named a very girlish name, which just wouldn't do, and wouldn't have been a name I'd have kept for a girl either.

Ferrets are very intelligent.  Apparently more intelligent than cats or dogs.  It wasn't long before they recognized their new names, and were answering to them.  They can be taught tricks and commands, but I thought that was kind of undignified.  I don't do that with my cats, so I'm not doing it to my ferrets.  They have their own little tricks and habits, which are extremely endearing, and they make me laugh all the time.  For anyone who knows me, in person, they know it's not easy to make me laugh, and the furry little buggers manage it all the time.

Cat-tipping is a favourite hobby of ferrets - well mine at least.  Especially with my one cat, of which I have two.  Rabbit (he's a cat - yes, it's a weird name), who is the wimpiest of the two, despite being the biggest, is constantly getting knocked over by the ferrets.  He's gotten to the point where he just lets it happen and then moves on with his life - once the ferrets are at a safe distance, of course.  My cat probably weighs close to 15 pounds, but somehow the ferrets find the speed and leverage to land him on his side every time.  He'd like to think he's letting them win, I'm sure.

War dancing is another entertaining activity they engage in.  Similar to a Native American war dance, you would almost think they were angry, but it's their tried and true happy dance.  They bounce around on one spot, or move around a bit if they feel extra happy.  Often they'll make a noise that's called dooking, and sounds like a cross between barking and chirping at a low volume.  Ferrets all have different voices when they get going, however, so it's hard to describe a typical dooking sound.

Aside from snakes, I don't think there's a creature alive that's as agile and flexible as a ferret (and their relatives in nature, of course, like minks and mongooses).  They roll and twist, nearly tying themselves into knots because that is, apparently, the most comfortable position in the world to sleep in.  I have dozens of pictures of Stimpy sleeping in really weird positions.  Pepper just curls himself into a ball with his face tucked between his legs.  Once his testicles descended it didn't make for great/appropriate pictures.

One of Stimpy's most endearing quirks is when he gets to have a tiny amount of a drink he goes crazy for.  Pepsi and iced tea are like a drug to him, and he can smell them from the next room, but the sugar is really bad for them, so I can only let him have a little.  When I take the cup away after a couple of licks, he kisses my hand almost every single time.  It's like the sweetest little thank you I've ever gotten.  He'll do the same for 'the stuff', too, which is what we call ferret laxative in our house.  Ferrets get blockages easily, so ferret laxative is a staple.  They absolutely love 'the stuff', though, so to them it's a huge treat.  Stimpy will stand on my lap every day, if we have it, pointing his nose at the top of my dresser repeatedly (where he knows I keep it), until he gets his daily dose.  You can't tell me these guys aren't smart.  I have to limit the laxative, too, as it has sugar in it, but I don't feel as guilty giving it to them as I do with a sugared drink.

Pepper's most endearing habit is kissing, too, but he kisses my nose when I'm holding him.  Not always, and not even every day, but if he's in the mood I'll get kisses from the little man.  These are melt-the-heart gestures that make me thankful in the deepest part of me that I decided I could handle having a second ferret.

The love I get from these guys has gotten me through some of the most difficult times in my life.  The break-up of my marriage, having to put down one of my cats a few years ago, ending up disabled from improper sports training as a kid (the disabilities only hit a few years ago), and finding myself flat broke after no longer being able to run my business - these were all things that could have destroyed me completely.  I can't say my life is great, as these problems still exist, but two or three pounds of furry love and entertainment have made things better than bearable.