Brushing Up Against Rental Fraud

The phrase, "Too good to be true," was invented for a reason. Seriously. With my daughter and I looking for a new apartment, and not having a lot of time left to do it in unless we talk our current landlord into letting us stay another month, we're looking at every advertisement online and culling out anything that seems decent. I'm even going into strange rental sections on Kijiji, like "Others," just for the hell of it.

It was there we found the apartment of our dreams. Or so one might think. However, it could easily have turned into a nightmare if I were of a less suspicious bent. Believe me when I tell you there are con-artists everywhere, and it's our disbelief that anything so unusual could happen to us that aids them in their victimization.

Imagine this, if you will:

2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, all appliances, all furniture, all utilities included. [Insert stunning description here along with 5 equally stunning photographs.] $819.00 per month.

Contact is made via e-mail, and more photos are sent. They're not looking to make a profit, or turn it into a business, etc. They just want the apartment rented out to someone responsible so it's not sitting there empty. They will buy a plane ticket to come show you the place, but they need you to do them a favour and place an ad for their spouse's old apartment - apparently they are unable to do so because they are currently overseas and the classified ad website will not allow people overseas to place ads on the Canadian site. They dangle the carrot of removing the ad so that you'll be the only prospective tenant.

Being of a suspicious and cynical nature, I took a good look at the ad before I even contacted them the first time. I decided I might as well check it out. If it was a scam, no harm done. Being of that suspicious and cynical nature, I did not send them anything other than our names and phone number, and I wasn't about to send anyone any money, so I wasn't concerned.

The first response was a long e-mail, and asked us to let them know if we're interested. I said I was, and we wanted to view the place. I asked them to send the application, because I figured we could fill it out and give it to them when we saw the apartment. (I wasn't sending them anything with personal details by e-mail.) The 'application' was a few questions in their reply e-mail, along with a request for a picture (that was not mandatory). I replied vaguely, saying my daughter has a full-time job in a factory and I'm on disability. When I came to the question about references I said I would provide references when we viewed the place. With my name and references they would be able to obtain my current address, and it's more information than I want a stranger to have through these means.

No, I didn't send a picture. I couldn't see any valid reason why a prospective landlord would need a picture, and believe me when I say that sent up big red flags with sirens blaring and strobes flashing. My first thought was that the place might be real, but have hidden cameras for underground porn videos of the peeping Tom variety. So I figured if we viewed the place I'd be looking very carefully at mirror placement, and behind anything mounted on the walls.

The next e-mail was when they said they're more than happy to book a flight back here to show us the apartment, but they needed our help in placing an ad for his wife's old place so they can take care of that at the same time. Yeah...right. Just like the people who have fifteen million dollars waiting to be taken out of a bank account, but they need you to do it for them, and it doesn't look like they're asking much - and certainly nothing that will cost you anything - but it generally results in a person being stripped of their life savings.

My response was polite, because it's just barely possible the apartment is real. However, I made it clear that it was their responsibility to be available for viewings, and if they found it inconvenient to do so, they could hire a property management firm. They have the added benefit of being licensed, and can run credit checks for prospective tenants as well. Or they could book a whole bunch of viewings all at once. This person said in the last e-mail that 'he' had come up here once before and the person hadn't shown up - gee, people who break promises? Who'da thunkit? This is an old trick used by scammers who are trying to reassure someone by showing they know how that feels, and implies that they, themselves, would never do such a thing.

I also made it clear that, whatever they wrote in an e-mail, we did not know them. We were not going to place an ad for them which might result either in us being victimized or being accused of collaboration in a scheme meant to defraud others. I apologized, just in case they were on the level, but I very much doubt that they were.

After sending that last e-mail I started to do some research. I found an article in the Winnipeg Free Press newspaper from 2009. It details how a woman lost $1200 in almost identical circumstances. In her case the gentleman had relocated from Winnipeg to New Jersey, but was currently in London. She sent $800 for a month's rent, and $400 for a damage deposit. When she requested keys he demanded another $1200 before he was apparently willing to send them. Once the situation was investigated it was discovered that there was no one in the building by that name, and it was managed by a property management firm with no ties to this person. The police could do nothing. After all, she had sent her money out of the country.

Kijiji warns on every page that a person should never give money to someone they haven't met in person. Their classified ads are meant for person-to-person sales, whether it's an apartment or a bicycle. Near-identical ads for 'dream' apartments have appeared in major cities all over Canada, and I don't doubt that they appear in most other countries as well.

People want to believe they've found a place to live. It hits in a vulnerable area, especially during a time when it's difficult to find an apartment. In the last two and a half years since we moved into this apartment, rent prices have gone up considerably, and apartments are taken almost as soon as the ads appear. Then if you find yourself in a situation where you might not have a place to live in a couple of weeks, you really want to believe that this wonderful place is sitting there just for you. An answer to a prayer, basically. The thought of being homeless scares the crap out of pretty much anyone, and who can blame them?

Still, there are a few hard and fast rules out there if you don't want to be a victim. The biggest one is that you should never trust anyone without reason. I mean, geez people! Why would you send money to someone outside the country for a place you've never even been in? An apartment has to be viewed in person. I'm sorry, but that's the reality. Even real ads will often show an apartment that isn't the one that's available. Management companies have show suites. Even when you go to view an apartment, they often show one that has the same floor plan, but isn't the one you'll be renting. That's pretty standard for big buildings, so then you have to do a walk-through of your actual apartment to list any damage that's already there.

Trust is earned. It takes time to develop. Not everyone is trustworthy. In fact, a very large portion of the population cannot be trusted. I personally believe no one can be trusted for everything. Every human has flaws, and there are certain things each person can't be trusted with. It all depends on their personality type. Some can't be trusted to pay their bills exactly on time, even if they do eventually pay them. Some people don't do things they're supposed to do by the time they say they'll do them. Some people show up late. Everyone has flaws, and those are the things that can't be trusted in that person, but they may be completely trustworthy in every other way. Some people you could loan a million dollars to, and they would pay back every penny with interest, but you know they're always going to blab secrets.

It takes time to know the flaws of a person, and thereby know which things can be trusted about them, and which things can't. Trusting anyone without knowing them is ridiculous. The woman in the above-mentioned article said she trusted the person she sent money to because he claimed to be a Christian. Really? Wow. I can claim to be Jesus Christ, but that doesn't make it true. In fact, I would be less likely to trust someone because they're religious, than I would if they said they were atheists. I do not like organized religions, so I have a huge bias there.

Though I might vaguely feel sorry for anyone who has been ripped off, there's a larger part of me that thinks, "What the hell were you thinking?" Then my sympathy tends to dry up. When it's someone of diminished capacity who is scammed, I feel terrible for them, but with the general population I feel mostly disgusted that they're not using their critical thinking skills. Of course, lack of critical thinking is something that drives me crazy to begin with. It's the reason the vast majority of people believe what's reported on the news. In the US they're not obligated to tell the truth, yet people still believe what they're saying. In Canada that's against the CRTC regulations, and results in fines and other penalties, but that does not mean they don't unknowingly report a falsehood - because it's quite possible those who wrote the stories in the first place weren't using their critical thinking skills and didn't thoroughly investigate their sources. They might report the truth as they know it, but it's quite likely not the whole story.

My basic point is exactly what I said in my very first sentence. Too good to be true is always too good to be true. Follow your instincts, use your brain, question everything, and don't give people money for anything they're not handing to you right then and there. Even when you're doing business with people you know (perhaps especially when you know them), you don't pay them until they've given you what you're paying for - whether it's a service or an item. I offer website design and maintenance as a service, but I certainly don't expect anyone to pay me for something I haven't done yet. Some companies may require a deposit, but it's not necessary. Not when you can build the site and not post it, but still show your client what it will look like once it's published, and there are other ways web designers can protect themselves if their clients don't pay.

In all business dealings (and renting an apartment is a contract just like any other) both parties should be able to provide proof that they're on the level. An apartment is visible proof. If you don't see the place with your own eyes, there's a good possibility it doesn't exist. On the landlord's end of things, they're well within their rights to take a look at your identification and do a credit and reference check. Don't be afraid to offend someone. Honest people will understand and respect skepticism if you're polite about it. It's only the dishonest ones who will react defensively and get angry - most likely because they see their scam falling apart and realize the money they foresaw is slipping through their fingers.

In our case I would expect that this supposed landlord would respect the fact that I'm mature and responsible enough to be careful with regard to my personal information and my money. If I just gave out money to everyone, it would show an obvious lack or responsibility and maturity. Sadly, there will be people desperate enough and gullible enough, who so badly want to believe their dreams have come true, that they will fork over most of their savings to secure a non-existent apartment. I'm not immune to those feelings myself, and I hoped we weren't being scammed. I was polite in my last e-mail because a tiny part of me still hoped it was real. This was before I started researching rental scams and saw the various articles about the different ways people got fleeced. Then I started to see the similarities.

What's funny is that I'm a huge believer in doing things online. I buy groceries that way sometimes, and have them delivered. I shop online for other things, paying for my items electronically. I honestly do not have to leave the house if I don't want to, though you pay a little more sometimes for that privilege. Maybe it's being experienced in the ways of online retail that helps me weed out the scams. The worst thing that ever happened to me was that a ring I ordered from eBay was never delivered, and since I only paid about $10 for it I wasn't all that concerned, particularly since I'd ordered a bunch of other stuff at the same time and sort of forgot I was expecting it.

In fact we just ordered dinner online, but I'm pretty sure they're going to deliver it since we haven't given them any money yet.

Money Doesn't Buy Happiness, Just Less Misery

Until my daughter found a job again, we were living very close to the edge. Thankfully neither of us has any bad habits that take up what little money we were bringing in. We don't smoke, drink, or do any illicit drugs. However, not having money meant we couldn't do anything beyond pay bills and buy food. We were okay, but it's not the best existence in the world. The thing is, if you're lucky you can shut off all impulses to spend, and in my case anyway, I became even more introverted than usual.

It wasn't until we started having  decent money coming into the household again, that I slowly broke out of that shell I was in. It's funny, but the smallest things can make such a huge impact in a person's life. In my case, it was when we went out and spent money on stuff for organizing the bathroom. We had nowhere to store anything except a small medicine chest, and that bathroom is very tiny. So we bought an overjohn (one of those cabinets that go over your toilet, hence the word 'john' being included), a toilet paper holder, a proper garbage can with a pedal-operated lid, hooks for the door, a shower organizer, and a new shower head. It turns out that it was money very well spent, because it was inspiring to me.

You see, suddenly one room in our house was no longer hopeless. It felt nice to go in there and see those things. Everything we bought had a nice bronze finish, which really spruces things up, and now we had places to actually store the things we needed to have in the bathroom. Well, wouldn't you know it, I just had to keep going on other things. Like magic, poof, I reorganized my bedroom so that I was finally able to get some writing done again. Now I'm starting to take on other areas of the apartment. My daughter already has her own bedroom set up properly, so that's another room that isn't a disaster area.

Admittedly, my lack of domestic inclinations has a great deal to do with the fact that the rest of the apartment looks like a bomb went off. We do not do any living in our living room, so it's become something of a dump site for everything we don't put into our bedrooms. I'm at the point, however, where having a couple of rooms looking nice has been pushing me to get everything else looking that much better. No room in my home will ever be perfect, simply because I just don't care about perfection. I want to live in my home, not photograph it for the cover of a magazine.

Still, I actually went to the extreme step of washing some dishes this evening. My daughter is at work, and when she comes home and notices what I've done, I'll have to be ready to perform CPR. Too bad I don't have a defibrillator, because the shock will be great, and there's a very real risk of heart attack. I abhor doing dishes as a rule. Sticking my hands in dirty dishwater actually makes me want to gag. The idea of soggy bits of food floating around and touching me is almost more than I can bear. I think the issue stems from my stint as a dishwasher in a restaurant, back in the day when people could smoke in them. Just imagine the nasty mess in the bus-pans. Unfinished drinks with their ice cubes floating around, mixing with ashes and cigarette butts, pieces of steak, particles of eggs and pancakes. Quite literally a miasma of gross. I was sixteen years old then, and it probably scarred me for life. Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be dishwashers!

I'm very content being in my bedroom these days. I no longer look around with the faint urge to clean where I end up saying, "F*ck it," because it's just too much bloody work, and then going back to whatever game I was playing. I look around with a sense of satisfaction and comfort. My ferret still digs in his food dish and spills it on the floor, so I'm bound to have a mess of some sort, but that's how it is with any kind of pet. Thankfully he doesn't shed a lot of fur. He has his newspapers to make his other messes, and that makes them a cinch to clean up.

It blows my mind what effect a little bit of money can have on a person's life. It doesn't have to be a lot. Just enough to get a ball rolling. Inertia takes care of the rest. Curiously, I'm still in the midst of doing even more dishes. I should really get back to those, and then start tracking down that defibrillator. eBay probably has some for sale.

When Life Hinges on Chairs and Toner Cartridges

I didn't fall into a black hole, though it might seem that I must have done. I wasn't despairing about my current circumstances, or feeling depressed. The closest to that was exhaustion. You see, my life apparently hinges on a properly situated chair, and obtaining toner cartridges. Most of the delays I face at the moment are because I'm unable to print. Sound ridiculous? Let me explain. You see, Revenue Canada owes me a lot of money from back taxes. In order to file my returns I need to print the forms that need to be filled out. I can't do them and submit electronically because I'm too far behind on them and can't create a log-in, so they all have to be done in hard copy.

So, I ordered toner cartridges for a really good price from eBay, and idiotically forgot to change my address on there, so they got shipped to my old address in another city. It's a huge rigamarole for me to get there, but my ex went to pick up his mail and got the cartridges after they'd been sitting there for weeks. I finally was able to arranged for my daughter to pick them up from him, since she works very close to where my ex is living now. Well, he was late getting home and they missed one another, which means waiting even longer to get them.

You may wonder why the money is so necessary. Well, I need to get a car. I need one very badly. I have to be able to get to doctor's appointments all over the place, and I need to be able to run errands. My injuries are such that I'm not even supposed to be walking, yet it's a 30-minute walk for me to get to my family doctor - never mind the specialist I see in another city. Buses are a huge hassle, especially when you need to walk several blocks to make connections, or they don't travel where you need to go.

Another reason I need money, especially after yesterday where we had three blackouts, is because my computer is dying a slow and painful death. Well, painful for me anyway. It becomes agony for an impatient person to have to wait for a laptop to chug along and do something that should have been accomplished in a microsecond. My poor laptop has been subjected to a fair bit of stress. A lightning strike dinged my LAN cable input, so I have to use wireless now. The blackouts have messed up my sound through my speakers, and they killed one of the connections that involve my battery charging - so if my laptop is accidentally unplugged, or the power goes out, it just shuts off. I have no battery backup. Never mind the fact that it's about 6 years old now, and you might as well brand it an antique. Computers this old are laughable.

A new computer means being able to do my own online show, too. I've got big plans for it. Check out the Aberrant Rain page on my personal website if you're curious as to what it's all about. For that matter check out my website in general, and don't forget to bookmark it! You can find the home page at www.rainstickland.com. Welcome to my strange little corner of the world.

So, you see, I haven't been entirely unproductive. I just haven't been doing any writing really. I did write one piece for a new website I'm contributing to, called The Simple Keys. It's a piece I'm rather proud of actually, and something I've been meaning to write about for some time. It's called, "Don't Just Survive...Thrive! Rape and Abuse Don't Have to Destroy Your Life." It's subject matter that's pretty important to me on a very personal level, and I'm very open about what I've gone through simply because I want to give hope to someone else who may not have healed from their own experiences.

The biggest reason I haven't been writing is because I haven't had a proper chair set up with my desk to be able to sit up and write. My laptop has been on my night stand so that I could lie in bed to use it. It's not laziness that has me in bed, in case you're not familiar with my previous blog postings. It's injuries. I've got major damage to my hip joints that will require four separate surgeries within the next eight years. Good times.

I spend a fair bit of my time heavily medicated, which is another reason for my writing hiatus. I have to switch things around all the time because some drugs lose their effectiveness, while others cause damage to my liver. Thankfully the liver is an organ that heals itself if it stops getting pounded by something. I'm on a good drug now that's non-narcotic. It's a neuropathic pain reliever. It helps with the pain in my nervous system, dulling the pain signals that go to my brain. It doesn't get rid of it entirely, but it makes my life a hell of a lot more comfortable.

I can't guarantee that I'll be able to contribute to my blog all the time anymore, though I will certainly try to add to it far more regularly than I have been - which has been not at all for about three months now. Some people wondered if it was the presence of a new man in my life, but it wasn't that. He's very encouraging when it comes to my work. He's not possessive of my time, or threatened if I'm focusing on other things. Besides, he's well aware that I'm crazy about him, so insecurity will not have a foothold there.

Finally I have managed to get my old chair set up in my bedroom in such a way that I can write properly again. I'm in as comfortable of a position as possible, though it may take some getting used to. The last few weeks have been a bit of a horror show for me when it comes to pain, and we had a cold snap that made it even worse. It was hardly encouraging to my writing. I was getting ideas for a number of pieces, but just wasn't able to bang them out on the keyboard. Well, hopefully I have resolved that issue and will be back in fighting form. At least for a while.

To be honest, I've been feeling somewhat discouraged about my current physical situation. You see, I finally got to see an orthopedic surgeon, but it turned out he no longer does surgery at all, and he never did hips. He didn't even know of any other specialists that do. Most of the orthopedic surgeons he knew worked on shoulder injuries. Well, he is in a wealthier city, and those wealthy people do need to be able to play their golf games. I, on the other hand, live in an economically depressed city, seeing as I'm somewhat economically depressed myself at the moment. Apparently there are some world-class surgeons here who work on hip injuries. Yippee...except that it may take a year for me to get in to see them, and then be put onto a waiting list just for my first surgery. We'll have to see what happens there.

When you're fighting to get proper care, you're in constant pain and living on drugs, and you can't get around to your appointments without a great deal of struggle, after a while you just get tired. I'll bust my butt for months to get somewhere, make a little headway, and just get worn out from it all. Then I just kind of give up for a while. I simply can't keep fighting. I don't think anyone can fight all the time. Especially when you get one piece of discouraging news after another. I got excited when I finally got in to see a specialist about my hips, and it was a huge let-down to find out he couldn't help me at all. Not only that, but after some research and finding out it was going to take many more months just to get in to see someone who could help me, I just had to take a break from it to some extent.

I think I'm back for another round of struggle, though. I'm not entirely certain, but it seems as though I'm starting to get a few things done again. I did manage to make my bedroom conducive to working and writing, which was a huge deal for me. It isn't easy to do housework of any kind when all you want to do is curl into a fetal position and moan, never mind moving furniture around. Still, it had to be done if I was ever going to get moving with my life. Maybe after this I'll be in a lot of pain again for a while. Who knows? At least I've got things set up for myself, though.

I used to write a blog posting every single day. I liked having that outlet, I guess. It wasn't just about personal stuff either. I wrote a lot of opinion pieces on various political and social issues. I don't want to be one of those people that are screaming about things all the time, though. I need to be more positive. Are there things that need changing in the world? Sure there are. Are there things that piss me off? Absolutely. The problem is, yelling about it just makes everyone mad. Yelling at someone for it doesn't change any minds. I decided a long time ago to approach things from a different angle, so when I write pieces now I'm going to try to write about what I think the solution is, or just outline possibilities. I have no problem with detailing the issues I'd like to see resolved, and spreading out the bits and pieces of them so that we can all look at an issue from various angles. I think that would be a much better approach than just getting upset and making everyone else either upset or defensive.

Nobody knows what the future holds, of course, so I can't say for certain where I'll go with my work, or even where I'm going with this blog, but I'll certainly be writing a lot more in the near future. One thing I should note, however, is that I intend to do a lot of fiction writing. That means I need to be in a slightly different frame of mind. My postings on here will likely reflect that. I'll be doing research on subjects that pertain to the new book series I've started, which means my curiosity will compel me to delve far deeper into a topic than I need to, as well as meandering onto other topics that pop into my head. I'll be sure to find out a whole bunch of weird and interesting facts that I just have to share with everyone.

My new fiction series is going to be about demons, but in a new and intriguing way. I don't know about all of you, but I'm starting to get a little bit tired of seeing the scads of books and movies in the vampire genre. Sure, I would love to stop aging and be immortal, but it's not bloody likely (pardon the pun), so I think we probably all want to move on to something else for a while. Anyone who reads fiction probably isn't looking for a lot of realism, but the same subject does get tiresome after a while.

Okay, now that I've updated everyone, and gotten back in touch with my writing identity, I think I need to rest up for a bit. I've got a lot of work ahead of me, and everything I've been doing to get ready for it has tuckered me out! Back to playing games for a while tonight, and then I'm going to sleep. I hope everyone is doing well, and that life has been treating you kindly so far in the new year.

The Fiscal Cliff - Shut Up or Jump Off

I'm getting very tired of the hopelessness people are displaying regarding the 'fiscal cliff'.  It's ridiculous when you look at it from a broader scope.  Historical comparison shows us that this is really nothing, and I think people need to stop complaining about it and make the best of things.  This is coming from someone who is living on the low end of the financial spectrum, here, so if I can say that anyone can.

Fear, depression and hopelessness are self-fulfilling prophecies, making it much more difficult to recover from the current situation.  I'm not just talking about an economic downturn here, either.  Everything we do in life is affected by our attitudes.  These destructive emotions feed on themselves, eventually growing so big that there's no longer any way to stave off the hungry monsters.

While there's life there's hope - Cicero, Ad Atticum

 Truer words were never spoken.  The thing is, if people feel hopeless they won't even bother trying to change their personal situation, and it will take the efforts of a lot of individuals to improve this situation throughout the world.

I was recently reading an article by another author, upon which a comment was made.  The article was about depression possibly being at a higher level in this generation, and the person who commented said something along the lines of depression being due to the current financial crisis, and that the world was full of people feeling hopeless about their situation.  I have to disagree.

For one thing, true depression is considered to be chemical, having little to do with external stimuli.  For another, there's the historical context.  The Great Depression was a time when people were starving to death in North America, despite growing and raising their own food.  They stood in line for hours for a small loaf of bread, assuming they had the goods to trade for it, or the cash on hand to pay.  Lines of credit were overextended, and they no longer had a tab they could add the bill to, as they weren't able to pay off what they already owed.

The American civil resulted in a similar situation, except that the plantations that had provided the food sources would lie fallow due to the men going off to war.  It takes a full season of growing to get your food source back, and pretty much all livestock in the south had been seized by the Yankees, carpetbaggers, you name it.  I don't know that the south ever fully recovered economically.  They certainly didn't have the slaves to help them anymore.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm very glad slaves were freed, and I consider Lincoln to be somewhat of a hero - he is, in fact, one of the people I admire most in history.  I think the plantation owners had it coming, quite frankly.

With the break-down of the Soviet Union, and shortages in heating oil and supplies, Russia was in a miserable state.  I haven't kept up with how things are there now, so I have no idea if they ever recovered from that, or if they're still living in abject poverty, burning their furniture so as not to freeze to death.

Nothing we're going through now can compare to what people have gone through in the past, or are going through right now in less-developed areas of the world.  Those less-developed areas are going through those things regardless of what the world economy is doing.  They couldn't care less about the US budget.  The G8 has to do with the eight most financially powerful nations in the world, or at least the ones who can agree to sit down and talk about things, and very little to do with the nations that have no clean water.

Sure, Canadians lost jobs.  Sure, things have gotten tight and maybe we can't stuff our bellies with Brie and caviar every night of the week, washing it down with Cristal.  Maybe we can't all drive BMWs or Jaguars, but we can bloody well survive.  If we have a brain in our heads we're not going to die of starvation.  There are ways of getting food in developed countries.  There are shelters available for the homeless should they actually wish to seek them out.  As much as nobody wants to be homeless or hungry, we will survive, particularly as a species.  It isn't the end of the world, for crying out loud.  We're not facing a pandemic that will wipe out most of the population of the planet.  Now that would be a good reason for the depression of a generation.  Or, maybe a cause for celebration, depending on your view of humanity.

The Weirdness of Paid Bills and No Bills

I don't have a lot of bills, which is definitely a good thing, because I don't have a lot of money these days.  I'm only on temporary disability, which doesn't pay out anywhere near permanent disability, and even permanent disability isn't exactly a cash cow.  I know better these days than to overspend my budget, because there's a deep-seated knowledge that there just isn't another source of income that I'll be able to tap if things get bad.

In my younger years I would allow myself to go into debt.  Sometimes it was with credit cards, sometimes with car loans, and sometimes with *gasp* payday loans.  I would put off paying a bill until the next month, not really caring if something got cut off on me, because I knew I could make it up next month.  Or, at least, I thought I could.  I wasn't always right, and I paid for it through the nose.  Payday loans kept going up like a house on fire.  Every payday the amounts got higher.  We eventually got rid of them for good.  To this day I don't think there was much choice at the time, but now when faced with a bad financial situation I figure out something else so maybe the other options were there for me before and I just wasn't savvy enough to realize it.

Unpaid monthly bills were punished with interest at first, and then disconnection and reconnection fees later, unless I chose to just forget about the service.  You can't really do that with utilities, but things like internet and television subscriptions can be lived without, no matter what anyone tells you.  Try living without heat for a month in winter, and see where your priorities shift to.

Becoming satisfied with very little in life was the key for me, to being able to finally get a handle on my finances, despite being more broke than I have ever been in my life.  If I can't afford to pay cash for something, then I simply can't afford it, because monthly loan payments of any kind are out of the question.  For the first time ever, I have exactly four things to pay for:  Rent, hydro, food and internet.  In my case the internet is necessary.  My daughter needs to find a job, and in order to do that you have to be online and have a phone.

We get our phone service free online, so it's a double-feature for us.  It's available to all Canadians, but I'm not sure about the US.  There's probably an equivalent down there.  If you find it necessary to have internet, it's always better if you don't have to pay the second bill of a phone line.  It has its limitations, but there's voice mail that is sent to your e-mail, as well as 911 service and everything.  There's a small download to use the software, but to use the phone program itself is kind of a memory pig, so I never have it on while I'm running other things.  I'm not big on phone calls anyway.  If you're curious, it's www.freephoneline.ca.  They have other services, as well, but it really is free to have their phone line.  I'm not here to advertise for them, though, so I'm not going to promote their paid services.

My point is, we've cut down our bills to almost nothing.  We've learned to live without everything, almost.  If there's something I want to see on TV, it's almost always available for free online, and quite often it's the networks themselves that will stream their shows.  Other sites stream shows, and they pay for the rights through advertising.  It's not illegal, by the way.  I'm not referring to pirating anything.  I'm referring to free services.  The quality isn't always the best, and you have to watch that you're not going over your bandwidth limits with you internet service provider, because streaming uses a lot.  Anything graphic-intensive will do that.  It's kind of like video or computer games when there's water graphics.  If your computer or console has limited memory for graphics, that's the part where it will lag.

Now, when I have money, it seems the first thing I do is take care of the bills, and then figure out where the rest of it will be going.  Maybe I shouldn't be putting food last on the list, and maybe other people wouldn't do that, but I've never really cared about food.  I'll eat generic chicken wieners on regular bread, flavoured with generic ketchup, and it doesn't bother me in the least.  I've gone hungry, and don't care to again, but it taught me another lesson about priorities.  When you've only got a few dollars, you don't spend it on gourmet anything.  You buy the cheapest thing there is, so you get quantity versus quality.  Be a food snob if you want to, but everyone changes their tune when there's nothing left in the cupboard to eat.  A package of 8 name-brand wieners costs the same as 4 packages of 12 of the chicken wieners (48 in total, for those who don't want to do any math, which is 6 times the amount).  Would you rather eat for 2 days, or for 12 days?

I'm sure people look down on people in my situation.  However, there just isn't anything I can do about what I'm going through financially.  I'm disabled, and since I worked for myself at the time it hit me I did not have any medical insurance beyond what is provided by the province to everyone who lives here.  Disability is not covered by OHIP.  I'm more than a little proud of the fact that I manage to make it through, and I know very well that those same people who are silly enough to look down on me would never survive what I've been through.  There's a great deal of strength in that.

I've been a worker for a long time, and when I was laid off quite a few years ago I decide it was time to work for myself.  I figured I had more control over my job that way.  Well, I did have more control over the job, just not my physical well-being.  The job I had when I was laid off had terrible benefits anyway, so there's no reason to bemoan losing it as I wouldn't be any better off now even if I hadn't.  My company wasn't in a position to consider a benefits package, since I was the only full-time person, and my daughter was the only part-time person.  The costs for benefits were prohibitive.  I know, because I looked into it.

Still, despite that fact that I'm living at a much lower level of income, I'm actually better off financially.  The bills are getting paid, and I'm not paying for anything that isn't necessary.  There are no interest payments to anyone so I'm not getting double-dipped anymore where I pay for the item, plus I pay interest on it.  It feels really strange, actually, to sit at my computer and know that I have nothing more to worry about for at least another month.  In the case of the hydro bill it's more like two and a half months, since we only get one every two months, and I actually paid it a little early.

Christmas will be lean this year, but we expected that, and it's not going to be anywhere as lean as it was last year.  This year my daughter and I have our own place again, our bills are paid, and we can have a decent dinner with maybe a small gift or two.  Last year we had none of that.  Not having to make a choice between having electricity and having food means a great deal in this world, and I've learned gratitude for that in a big way.  I'm also grateful that I've learned these lessons so that I stop being as idiotic about money as I used to be.  You really never know what can happen from one week to the next.

Many years ago I read that most people are a paycheque away from poverty.  Financial advisors tell us that we need to have three months' expenses saved to protect us in case something happens, like the loss of a job, but there are two problems with that.  One, how many people really believe it's going to happen to them?  Two, if you lose your job it's quite likely it's going to take a lot more than three months these days to find another one.  In my case I was without income for a lot longer than three months.

The best advice I can give to anyone, and the advice I intend to follow myself, is to become financially independent.  I'm not talking about being rich.  I'm referring to not relying on a single source of income that's provided to you by someone other than yourself.  I'm also referring to being as self-sustaining in your lifestyle as possible.  400,000 jobs were lost in Canada in 2008.  Most people don't know how to grow their own vegetables and rely on the utility companies to provide them with power and heat.  If you can learn to exist without utility companies, and learn to grow your own food, you'll be about a hundred steps ahead of the game.

Solar power is completely feasible, even in Canada, for running your entire home.  Radiant in-floor heating that's electrically powered is the most efficient way of heating your home, and it's free when you have solar power.  Tankless water heaters are the most efficient that I know of, they provide instantly heated water, use very little energy, and are available in electrically powered models.  So, that's your heat, your hot water, and your electricity to power every other thing in your home, including all your appliances.  A well provides water, and a septic tank provides water-based waste disposal.  If you live in the city you may have zoning difficulties with some of this stuff, but check into it to see what you can and can't do with your home.  Maybe you'll decide your city is too restrictive, and you'll move out to the country.

A small vegetable garden provides a very large quantity of vegetables.  Most people who have gardens are always giving away the food because they end up getting too much.  Meat is a different issue, that has moral questions involved regarding the humane treatment of animals.  I plan to have chickens in order to have a steady supply of eggs, but I know very well I'll never be able to kill the chickens.  I don't even like chickens, actually.  We had them when I was growing up, and they were more than a little vicious.  Still, I have empathy for every living creature on this planet, including insects, so I'm not going to kill the chickens.  I plan to treat them very well, and provide them with better-than-humane living conditions, as animal cruelty is something I'm dead set against.  I won't even buy from companies if I know they test on animals.

Imagine your life without monthly bills, though.  Imagine the freedom that comes from knowing almost everything you bring in that month will be yours alone.  Sure, property taxes are a necessary evil.  I don't want to live in the dark ages, so paying taxes provides services I will still need.  Roads, for example.  Garbage pickup for anything I can't compost or recycle.  Armed forces to protect the country.  Health care and emergency services.  Those sorts of things are necessary and I'm agreeable when it comes to paying for them.  Property taxes are usually the smallest bill that people pay, though.  If their property taxes are $3,600 a year, that's $300 a month, and people paying taxes that high are likely paying a mortgage that's more like $2,000 a month.  They also likely live in the city.

So, how is it that I seem to think a mortgage isn't a necessity?  Well, in my case I plan to buy property and put up my own steel structure.  I'm not looking for pretty.  I'm looking for something that will withstand nasty weather, is well-insulated, has an arch structure so I can do what I want with the interior and not have to worry about support walls, and that I can pay for with cash.  With all the money I won't be paying to a bank every month, I can add a lot of 'pretty' as I go.  Living in a home you know you could lose with a downturn in the market is terrifying.  Ask anyone who has lived through it.  The recent financial crises throughout the world probably clued a lot of people in to that.  It's time to head back to a world of self-reliance.

In my case I had these truths sneak up and whack me in the back of the head with a two-by-four.  You can't, and shouldn't, count on anyone but yourself.  Not your government, not your family (who may be in a worse situation than yourself, or simply not care what you're going through), not your friends.  If you are caught unawares, the price is very high indeed.  I was lucky in my darkest financial hour, because I had people that did care about me.  My daughter and my ex were there for me in a way I still find amazing, but it doesn't mean I intend to count on that sort of thing again.  It wouldn't be fair to them, and being a grown-up means taking full responsibility for everything that happens to you, even when you have no control over it.

Now all I have to do is live up to my own hype, and keep these promises to myself.