Slacking Off, Good Pain, Sweet Talk, Tidbits

I haven't been writing anywhere near as much as I should be. I call it slacking off, but in reality I'm usually pretty busy doing other things. I can't really stand to be otherwise. So, I've been slacking off on my writing...just not anything else. Sure I posted the erotica, and did in fact update it so that it actually fell under the heading of erotica (be sure to check that out here if you're into that sort of thing) rather than just the beginning of some lame story. (There will be more to that story in the near future, though. I'm getting into it rather nicely regarding plotline, and of course the sex.) My book is gathering dust these days, however.

I don't mind, really, since I occasionally need to pause in the middle of writing a big piece. It helps with editing when you no longer remember exactly what you wrote. It's less boring, you pick up on mistakes better, and you gain enough distance to know when something sounds stupid. It's hard to judge when you've just finished writing something and you think you're some sort of literary genius having given birth to the greatest thoughts of all time. A few weeks later you're wondering what the hell you were thinking, and what drugs might possibly have been involved.

I write this daily blog, and do at least one article every week, so I'm staying in practice. I don't think I'll get rusty in that sense, or get out of the habit of writing every day. The erotica keeps me tuned up on fictional stuff. It's just that I have to watch for an overload of sexiness when it comes to writing a book about a serial killer. The two really aren't supposed to go hand-in-hand exactly, unless of course you're a serial killer who's into that kind of thing. Also, the heroine is grieving the loss of her best friend (that's not a spoiler since it's part of the known plot), so I have to keep her from being too happy from all the sex she probably shouldn't be in the mood to be having in the first place.

I still have to finish chapter eight of the final draft, though, and it haunts me. I've got major research to do on a technical aspect, and I just might have to find an expert on that one if I can't figure out the logistics of it for myself. The problem is, the expert I would need probably wouldn't want me to have the answer, unless they were pissed off at their law enforcement employers for some reason. I suppose that's one way to gain useful information, isn't it? You let someone think their employers don't like them or have done something to them, and then you let them vent. Not a very honourable way of doing things, if you ask me. 'News' journalists do that, and it's one reason I never had the inclination to be an actual reporter. You have to be a jerk for reasons that aren't really your own.

Now for the good pain. Yes, there is such a thing. No, it's not a sex thing. Believe me, I understand. My mind would have jumped to the same gutter-brain thought processes. A friend tells me it's because I'm a horny Canadian. Interesting conclusion from someone whose country was founded by prudes, but we'll let that slide. There are plenty of horny Americans, as evidenced by the popularity of porn.

Oh, right. Good pain. Here I refer to muscle pain from working out. I've gone back to weight training, but I'm not getting the soreness I would have expected, and it's disappointing. I need bigger weights. Five pound dumbbells just aren't enough. I thought I'd be seriously out of shape, muscle-wise, but I guess I'm not. It looks like I'll be going to the nearest fitness supply place, which might actually be Wal-Mart. They carry the larger weights, thankfully. I prefer formed dumbbells, rather than adjustable ones (with the exception of the ones made by Bowflex - those are cool and very expensive, but I want them - one day). Dumbbells take up more space, perhaps, but I don't need to turn my workouts into a pain in the ass of changing weight plates.

I also have an aesthetic preference for steel/non-coated weights. The coated ones seem too girly to me, and make me feel like I'm playing with toys. God, I sound so much like a guy sometimes. Thankfully I'm not. I'm female in all the ways that count, even going so far as a serious interest in footwear - albeit mostly boots, but they're usually the really sexy ones. I'll even wear skirts and slinky dresses when the occasion warrants. Now I just need to find some.

Sweet talk is a whole 'nother issue. I won't tell you why that's on my mind, but suffice it to say that it is and I have some general things to say about it. Sweet talk, used for the purposes of talking someone into something, falls along the lines of hypnosis. You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. However, sweet talk is far more insidious in the way that it uses attraction, a fairly effective way of getting what you want. At least for a little while...

In my case it has something to do with a joke, so I take it as such. After all, there isn't a man alive who has actually encountered me in real life who would think sweet talk would be that effective on me - except for when it comes to the obvious reasons, perhaps. Ask any of my exes about my malleability, and they'll laugh and laugh and laugh... Seriously. You'd be lucky to get a coherent sentence out of them for the next fifteen minutes. I'm a tough nut in all senses of the phrase.

Hey, it doesn't matter how big a person is - everyone can be intimidating. I'm only 5'5", and despite being slightly big-boned I'm not a big gal, but as amusing as you or I might find the notion, I tend to scare the crap out of people. I don't have to yell or swear, either. Knowledge, an extensive vocabulary, firmness of opinion and attitude, self-confidence, persistence and the occasional willingness to talk down to someone who is pissing me off, all combine to make me a bit of a force of nature on occasion. Many people I know have asked me to resolve situations for them, including employers, because I'm damn good at it, and I don't put up with bullshit.

Admittedly, a strong sexual attraction certainly weakens the most die-hard ball-buster, and I'm no exception there, but it definitely takes a man who knows what they're doing. They have to be fully cognizant of the triggers, shall we say. Otherwise the effort falls flat and they get 'the look' from me. The look tells them in no uncertain terms that they have failed utterly to get what they wanted, and that now they look ridiculous for having tried such an obvious tactic. It's kind of like a 'puh-lease' with an attached eye-roll. Even if the tactic works, chances are pretty good that I know when it has been employed, but there's something seriously attractive about a guy that can challenge me and win. It's worth losing the battle sometimes.

Since I haven't updated anyone on 'the boys' (my ferrets) in a while, I will do so now. Not a lot has changed for Stimpy. His kidneys are still a bit enlarged, and he's still experiencing periodic bouts of illness in the form of nausea. Now that my daughter is working, though, and is expecting her first paycheque next week, we're planning to get the diagnostic tests done anyway, despite the vet's recommendation. The vet could be wrong, and if she is he may be suffering needlessly. He wants to live, so we need to give him a chance to do so if it's at all possible. The vet was trying to save me money, but Stimpy is more important to me than all the money in the world.

Pepper was supposed to go for his post-op check-up yesterday, after his neutering surgery from a couple of weeks ago. I had to rebook it, though. The time came to get on the bus and I didn't have tickets or change. I couldn't very well take him into the store to get some, and didn't have time to run to the store by myself, so the upshot is that he's going this afternoon instead.

Poor little bug also had ear mites that were discovered while he was knocked out - the standard check-up didn't reveal any as they were too far in. So, he was treated for that, and a treatment was sent home for Stimpy as well. I'll be getting the second dose of that today. Stimpy was in for a couple of check-ups, and the vet didn't see any then either - I saw her looking for them. I check their ears every once in a while myself. They just aren't that obvious sometimes, and neither of them exhibited any of the usual symptoms.

I've spent far more on vet bills lately than I have on food and utility bills combined. Probably about double or triple, actually. It'll be nice when everything is taken care of and we actually have a bit of money left over to replace some of the things we've lost recently. Not just the stuff that was in storage at my ex's place (and the house has since been put under power of sale - I couldn't reach him in order to go get it), but also because of catastrophic equipment failure. I swear, everything electronic we have (except for the brand new TV we bought to replace the one that died) is broken down, and it happened all at the same time. So much to replace.

I did manage to update my website quite a bit, both yesterday and this morning, so it's looking a bit better, and has better functionality, including the option to subscribe. Not everything I write for that site will be classified as erotica, mind you, so be warned you might encounter anything from quick crime stories to science fiction. I constantly have weird ideas, which I'm sure won't surprise anyone, but they don't always revolve around sex, which might actually be a huge shock to some. Hence the warning to expect other things from my website. I wouldn't want to be responsible for any heart failure episodes.

Valentine's Day...Blaaahhhhg

Now, how about that Valentine's Day, huh? So many people feeling the pressure to have a happy and romantic day with someone. Give me a break. Sure, it's nice to have someone acknowledge what you mean to them, but it's forced and obligatory. It's kind of like forcing someone into a relationship with you,  or worse, marriage. Relationships are tough enough without enforcing such a stereotypical version of romance, and marriage in particular is a field of landmines that needs no additional stress factors.

Still, we play the game. I was just doing some research on social media, and half of me was surprised regarding the statistics about online relationships, while the other half nodded its head in complete agreement. Did you know that one in every eight marriages in 2010 came about as a result of meeting someone through social media? One in eight! Part of me is shocked, while the other, more progressive part understands the phenomenon completely.

You see, I met my ex through a dating site, and we talked for some time online before we met. To me it's the best way to meet someone. I hate the bar scene for a million reasons. You can't get to know anyone when the music is at a decibel level conducive to massive hearing loss, to start, and all you really know about the person is that they like to drink in their spare time. Great. So much to recommend them, don't you think?

If you meet someone online you get a chance to know their personality without the desperate need to jump in the sack getting in the way. Sure, you can have chemistry with someone - believe me I know - but there isn't anything you can do about it so the distance puts that side of things on pause for a bit.

I have no problem with sex on a first date, or anything like that, because every person and every relationship is different, but that doesn't make it the right step in all circumstances. I'm not worried about someone thinking less of me if I choose to go that route. In fact, it's a good way to weed out the assholes that think like that about women. Still, it boils down to whether or not you're going to feel gross about sleeping with someone like that afterwards.

It's particularly an issue for women because sex for us is an intrusion into our bodies. We've allowed someone inside us, and if that person turns out to be slime, we feel like the slime got into us and contaminated us. Particularly if we're too careless to use a condom. Then it's gross and humiliating on every level. Plus there's the undeniable intimacy factor. In order for a woman to have an orgasm she has to be able to let go with someone and relax. Difficult for some, easy for some, impossible for others.

Another irritating difference between male and female orgasms apparently has to do with oxytocin and the pair bonding the chemical instills in women at the point of orgasm. Great. So women are hardwired to fall in love with someone they experience an orgasm with. It doesn't necessarily happen to that extent, but women have always been much more likely to develop an emotional connection to a man they've slept with, and particularly with a man they've had an orgasm with. I have no idea what the statistics are regarding masturbation, however. If there's a pair-bonding taking place there, I'm probably in serious trouble.

...and there I went, veering off into sex again. Not surprising, I suppose. I'm not particularly romantic, but V-Day and celibacy have combined to make sex a bit of a focal point. I even posted a teaser story on my fiction site that's the beginning of a piece of erotica I've started. I plan to add to it, making it a lot steamier - it would have to be, considering there really isn't even any sexual content just yet. Mostly a woman thinking about how horny she is and can't wait to bang some guy that she met online (if I were promoting the piece I'd be describing it a lot better, but it's not even done yet, so read at your own 'risk'). I'll get to the, um, meat and potatoes, so to speak, soon enough.

As to other things going on today, no there will be no V-Day celebration. I'll be taking Pepper in to the vet for his post-op check-up. I already went out for food, so we're good there. Then tonight is The Big Bang Theory. My guilty pleasure, and the only TV I watch, although I watch it on my laptop. I also get a kick out of the fact that it's a Canadian band that does the theme song. Hey, I'm a patriot, whether I bitch about my country or not. I love being Canadian, and will be Canadian until the day I day, no matter where I happen to be in the world.

The Big Bang Theory tonight is a V-Day special, though, so I suppose that counts as a sort-of celebration of the day. Not romantic for me, but for the characters, sure. Well, except for Raj and Stew, who are apparently having a singles party. Should be an interesting and funny show, as always. Of course, I can watch the show at any time. It doesn't have to be tonight, but I like the symmetry. Symmetry you ask? Well, being busy on V-Day is a good idea when you're not really romantically involved with anyone. I might as well fill up my time on something I enjoy doing, seeing as I have no intention of going out and looking for anyone.

What's kind of scary is that I read an article recently that February 15th is the day with the highest number of people cheating on their significant others. This is coming from a very popular 'dating' site that's mostly meant for people who do want to cheat. They get more sign-ups on the day after V-Day than they do any other day of the year. Huh. Guess the pressure of the day gets to everyone.

Apparently it's because people are smacked in the face with how lousy things really are in their relationship on V-Day because it's such a disappointment to them. Puh-lease! Use whatever excuse you want. Cheating is cheating. If you spent the other 364 days of the year (take a day off during leap-year, you have my permission) working on your relationship and being 'romantic', then V-Day would just be a continuation of that rather than an overly large mirror reflecting your failures.

If you're not happy in your relationship either fix it or get the hell out. Cheating is a stupid waste of time. It will not permanently inflate your flagging ego. It will only stomp you with the knowledge that you really are a lowlife scum and you don't deserve the partner you already have. Capisce? Believe me, unless you have zero conscience, cheating will make you feel really, really bad about yourself. Sociopaths are perfectly capable of cheating - are you a sociopath?

I think I'll get some more work done on that erotica I was mentioning, and I have some work to do on the website as well. It doesn't look as good as it should. It's a freebie site, though, so I'm very limited as to what I can accomplish with it, but it needs to be better organized with respect to my planned stories. Thankfully I have plenty of things to occupy my time these days, including the development of a sub-domain site. It's been a while since I did any website work, so I have to get back into the lingo. Thankfully I have development software on my laptop, so I'm not worried about using site-builders for it. They're such limited pains in the ass.

Well, this could turn out to be a pretty exciting day, despite a distinct lack of romance, but if I had my druthers I think sex is better than romance anyway, despite the fact that there's none of that on the horizon either. You can't get much more intimate than sex. Besides, who are we fooling - 99% of the people who think they're in love are merely infatuated and in lust. It takes months, if not years, to truly know a person well enough to say that you love them. You have to know who the hell they are first. You would think most people would consider that a requirement, but sadly they don't seem to.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Post-Mortem on The Kovacs Perspective

Well, I can't say my first show as producer of The Kovacs Perspective went off without a hitch, because it didn't. The up-side was that it had nothing to do with anything I did or didn't do. Skype decided to be cranky, so the show had a bit of a delay, but aside from a bit of a late start the show was great. Tons of great information from two great guests, for which the host +Steve Kovacs has me to thank! And did. Despite the joking around he did on the show itself about me being to blame, he seemed pretty happy about the quality of our guests.

I will say that my face got pretty red as he talked about me in the first few minutes of the show, as well as at the end, though not by name that time. I tend to shy away from that kind of publicity, so I sat here at my laptop having to resist the idiotic urge to cover my face. I can handle the writing thing, even if I one day became rich and famous. It's not the same for writers as it is for musicians and actors - or TV hosts for that matter. Facial recognition triggers a different level of stalker and paparazzi mentality entirely.

Knowing Steve's general sense of humour, I wasn't particularly surprised by the mention, or by the fact that he cracked a joke about it. He's a funny guy, and occasionally I find myself as the butt of one of his jokes. That's okay. There are worse things when it comes to having a 'boss'. I've had many that had no sense of humour, so my natural snarkiness had to come into play there. Not the best idea with someone who holds your job in their hands, but I stopped being afraid of that sort of thing a long time ago.