Today is just one of those days where sleep deprivation is leaving its mark, I'm afraid. I had something on my mind that was kind of freaking me out, so I woke up after about 2 or 3 hours' sleep. Not an unusual thing for me, I'm afraid, but irritating nonetheless.
When I'm like this, though, I have neither the passion nor the energy to pick fights with people, so my day rounds out as kind of pointless and boring. I have no conflicts to write about, aside from the conflicts within me that are arguing about whether or not I've got enough conflict to write a blog that day. I did leave a rather nasty remark directed at some man who thinks he should be the moral voice for women's wombs, but it amounted to nothing. One woman had already told him he didn't have a womb, so he didn't get a vote. Yeah, you go g... Ah, screw it.
People will have their ridiculous opinions about things they know nothing about, no matter what they're told. The creationists believe the world was formed 6,000 years ago, and that radiocarbon dating can't possibly prove otherwise, but they're more than happy to use the science to try to prove something about the Dead Sea Scrolls. There's no arguing with weird-ass logic like that, and I have to be in a good mood if I'm going to go against better judgment and start one anyway.
I saw a bunch of people ranting today about how people should do their research, while they were trying to say there was no such thing as Lichtenberg figures (marks left behind by lightning - sometimes on people's skin). Um, research shows they exist, thank you. They kept saying it was a henna tattoo. Oy! I couldn't even count how many of them were ranting that people would believe anything they read on the internet. Person after person posted the link to Wikipedia's page on the subject, which explains the phenomenon quite nicely. People are idi... Ah, screw it.
Yup, cranky pants. That's my name for the day. No PMS for me. I'm pretty stable there, but watch me freak out because I don't have the energy to get well and truly pissed about something that I would ordinarily spit flames over. I get right ornery, just not in a way that enables me to shoot righteous flames at the uninformed. If I don't get some sleep and have something to be well and truly pissed about soon, I'm going to go off my nut.
It's damn depressing to not have the energy to give a crap about something, I have to say. I have no idea how the uninspired and apathetic manage to get through their days without having a cause to fight for. I mean, really, what's the point of life then? Is ignorance really that blissful? Maybe it's got something to do with having a brain or something? If you're dumb enough maybe you can be happy sitting around smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo? Gives new meaning to the phrase, "Not playing with a full deck," if you're at all familiar with the song.
Sadly I seem to have shut up a couple of women-haters lately, too, as they generally provide such useful fodder for my ranting. Awww - suck it up pumpkin. You were confronted by a woman who wasn't afraid of you and you choked. Made you limp did it? Yeah, fear will do th... Ah, screw it.
I'm actually running into a lot of fairly normal people these days, and men who are nice and actually like women and animals. It's really throwing me off my stride. What am I supposed to do with that? I know there are still morons out there, but they're avoiding me like the plague it seems. Where's a good village idiot when you need one? Even my pervert radar is sending me mixed signals, and I'm just too damn tired to translate them.
I know, it must be really nice to sit around bitching that you have nothing to bitch about, eh? Or insane. I'll leave that up to you to decide, because I'm just too freakin'... Ah, screw it.
Wednesday, 6 March 2013
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Living Globally and Not Locally - Purposeful Detachment
Many would say I have no life, and in a local sense and where I live, they would be right. I have no life in Hamilton, or even in Canada. I don't know anyone that I actually see in real life, with the exception of my daughter. Any actual humans that I see are incidental. They are people who occupy a certain position in life, where I have to deal with them for one reason or another, but they aren't central to my existence on a personal level. One person could just as easily be replaced by another. For example, my landlord, banker, or the clerk at Wal-Mart. They're there to do a job, and I don't interact in any truly human ways.
It's been that way for me for some time now, despite the fact that I'm not a truly anti-social person. When I go out, I usually end up talking to people a bit, and if I've got one of my ferrets with me there's always going to be a bunch of conversations with random strangers. I can get my fill of in-person socialization for a few months, just with one trip on the bus to go to the vet.
What this all boils down to, though, is the fact that it wouldn't matter where I was. I'd still have my ferrets, I'd still be chatting aimlessly with strangers, and I still wouldn't have what anyone calls roots. There was a time when I did. I had friends I actually saw in real life. Hell, when I was a teenager I was always with friends. I was like that in my early twenties, too. I'm still friends with some of those people, but the face-to-face connection isn't as necessary as it used to be.
It some ways it's great to be unfettered and rootless. Freedom is a beautiful thing. However, I don't think it's necessarily a desire for freedom. I think it's probably more an indication of the fact that I simply haven't decided where I'm going just yet. I know I won't be putting down any permanent roots in Hamilton. I won't live permanently in any city, actually, and there just isn't enough open space around here to make it appealing to me to remain in the area.
I want roots. A piece of property, a home, that sort of thing. I don't necessarily wish to join the local community centre. That just isn't my style. What I do want is to leave something behind. Not just for my daughter, but for the world itself. I want to make a change for the better, and since all that can be done through the use of computers and the internet, where I actually stick my house doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to do with it.
My rootlessness has everything to do with how my personal life played out, of course. At one time I was married and planning to spend the rest of my life with someone. Okay, there were three times I was married and planning to spend the rest of my life with someone, but there's no need to get snarky about it. I either suck at the marriage deal, or I just picked the wrong people for me. At this point I'm a little shaky on which is which.
Now I've spent the last five years in this rootless state. At first it was strictly because I was depressed and miserable. The ending of a marriage will often do that to you. Okay, so I'm not divorced yet, so technically I'm still married, but we tend to think of that a little differently in Canada. Here we have something called legal separation. Once you're separated neither of you has access to anything the other person makes from that point forward. Legal separation has an impact on custody and such, as well, but that's not something I need to worry about these days. Another big difference in Canada is that you don't need permission from the other party to obtain a divorce. It's enough for one person to file. The other one can contest the terms, but they can't actually stop the divorce.
Americans, however, apparently call themselves married until the day the divorce is final, which seems freaky to me. I mean, once it's over for me the other party is an ex. Husband implies someone who has a say in my life. My ex would call me his wife and it would freak me right out. If I wanted to be called his wife, we'd have still been together. To avoid confusion, I suppose I should get on that whole divorce thing, though. He can't touch my money, and I can't touch his, but most people don't understand why we haven't made it final. In my case a lot of that has to do with being broke. I couldn't be bothered to spend the money when I needed it for other things. Now, of course, I haven't heard from him in a couple of months, which means I have to actually track him down in order to go ahead with it. I don't need his permission, but he does need to be served the papers if we aren't filing jointly.
Once I got over the emotional fall-out of separating (for those who are picky about terms), I suddenly had other issues looming over me. First it was my tailbone, and then it was my hip joints. I've managed to get the tailbone removed and can sit in a chair again, but the hip joints still need their surgery. Being stuck in limbo because of the situation meant I couldn't keep my business running, and my plans for buying property and building my house were put on hold. Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe it wasn't the best time for me to launch that particular project. Just maybe there were some things I needed to know about myself and my life before I was ready to make that decision about where I wanted to be.
I do know that I've since come up with at least one new requirement for my property. I've realized that I want to be on water. It was only a couple of years ago that I figured that out when I found a property with a river running through it and realized how much that meant to me. I started to consider the possibility of lakefront or oceanfront property, and when I started doing some checking I realized how obtainable that dream really was. Because I don't need to be close to city centres, and can live where I like, I'm not forced to look at the waterfront properties near those big cities - the properties that cost a fortune. I can be in the areas less-traveled and less-desired by masses of the population. I don't even care how cold it gets. With radiant in-floor heating, run by solar power, heat is not going to be a problem.
A friend of mine has a funny attachment to Borneo, but (loincloths or no) I'm not sure I could handle the heat & humidity there. It's pretty temperate, but still on the high side. The high amounts of rainfall would be cool, though. I'd love that! I'd rather be in the cold than the heat, though. I have no intention of being anywhere that requires 45 SPF sunblock just to walk from my house to my garage, so Mexico is out.
Yes, I definitely intend to have a garage - with a few nice cars in it, I might add. I'd like an old Jaguar XJS convertible, with the purring 12-cylinder engine. Maybe a DeLorean, with or without the drugs. If I ever have lots of money to spend on a car, there will also be a 1963 'Vette with a split rear windshield. Then there will be my 1998 BWM 3-series for everyday use - I'm debating on the convertible for that one, so maybe I'll have both just for the hell of it. They're cheap enough.
So, one day there will be roots, whenever I can figure out where the hell they'll be shoved into the ground, but those roots will spread to the global community and not merely the local one. As I've gotten older I've started thinking more and more about what's best for the world, rather than what's best for my country. Things like outsourcing that aren't particularly great for Canada or the US, but have had an amazing impact on developing countries like India. Maybe we've suffered for the loss of jobs, but then our suffering is nothing compared to the suffering in India. The suffering of the women in India has been reduced because North American companies don't care if they're women and hire them anyway. A friend of mine in India works for one of these companies, and they pay equal pay to women. This is what it means to think globally, for the benefit of all human kind, rather than just the few in our corner of the world.
This is also how I think of my friendships. You can be face-to-face with people all you want, but if you're not open about yourself and your life the friendships are no more meaningful than anything you might experience online. I often find people open up far more online than they do in real life or even on the phone. You can learn about people all over the world - the struggles they face that you might otherwise never learn of, and the cultural differences that are fascinating if we can get past the prejudices.
I know there are differences between online conversations, and phone conversations, or even between phone conversations and face-to-face conversations. In some ways the differences can be even more important when talking to someone you don't know well. I mean, I've had some bizarre misunderstandings in the past couple of months because someone mistakenly believed I was serious about something, or vice versa. Being a Canadian I think almost everything is funny, but there are things I do take very seriously, so how is anyone to know the difference?
Vocal inflections are a cue, of course, but body language can make all the difference. That sudden silence on the other end of the phone could be anything from a portent of disaster to someone trying not to laugh their ass off at you. This, of course, is only important if the people you're talking to are people you actually care about. There are only a couple of people I talk to either every day, or almost every day. Actually, I think there's only one person I talk to every single day. With the others I occasionally miss a day, as I don't count the odd Facebook comment. Still, if I'm talking to someone that much, it's because they have meaning to me, and I care about them.
I'm not big on phone conversations, usually, and I can think of only one person I'd talk on the phone with every day if I could. With everyone else I'm content to leave it to the electronic conversations. Of course, that same person is someone I'd see in person, too, which is a whole other level of personal interaction. In most cases I don't consider it necessary to see people in physical reality. After all, if I can view a person online and see their expressions, what else do I need?
It's only when physical contact with someone becomes desired, that it's required to meet in person. No, I don't necessarily refer to sex, although, hey, we all have our 'druthers' and healthy appetites there. Sex is great, but some people also have a physical need to touch others. Even in romantic relationships where you are having sex on a regular basis, there are other forms of physical contact that become a part of the relationship.
Platonic relationships also seem to have physical requirements, although I'm personally not sure why. I'm not the touchy-feely type there. My daughter will get the occasional hug from me, and friends I haven't seen in a really long time that I consider to be family, but I do not sit cuddled up with female friends (or male ones for that matter, unless there's something else going on there). I have a wide territorial bubble, and it's usually only sexual partners that get to sit inside that bubble with me. Otherwise I just get weirded out.
Of course, I have no bubble-mate at the moment, so I'm floating around a bit these days. That's okay, though. One day I'll float where I need to be, landing on the grass where my feet will begin to sprout roots.
It's been that way for me for some time now, despite the fact that I'm not a truly anti-social person. When I go out, I usually end up talking to people a bit, and if I've got one of my ferrets with me there's always going to be a bunch of conversations with random strangers. I can get my fill of in-person socialization for a few months, just with one trip on the bus to go to the vet.
What this all boils down to, though, is the fact that it wouldn't matter where I was. I'd still have my ferrets, I'd still be chatting aimlessly with strangers, and I still wouldn't have what anyone calls roots. There was a time when I did. I had friends I actually saw in real life. Hell, when I was a teenager I was always with friends. I was like that in my early twenties, too. I'm still friends with some of those people, but the face-to-face connection isn't as necessary as it used to be.
It some ways it's great to be unfettered and rootless. Freedom is a beautiful thing. However, I don't think it's necessarily a desire for freedom. I think it's probably more an indication of the fact that I simply haven't decided where I'm going just yet. I know I won't be putting down any permanent roots in Hamilton. I won't live permanently in any city, actually, and there just isn't enough open space around here to make it appealing to me to remain in the area.
I want roots. A piece of property, a home, that sort of thing. I don't necessarily wish to join the local community centre. That just isn't my style. What I do want is to leave something behind. Not just for my daughter, but for the world itself. I want to make a change for the better, and since all that can be done through the use of computers and the internet, where I actually stick my house doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to do with it.
My rootlessness has everything to do with how my personal life played out, of course. At one time I was married and planning to spend the rest of my life with someone. Okay, there were three times I was married and planning to spend the rest of my life with someone, but there's no need to get snarky about it. I either suck at the marriage deal, or I just picked the wrong people for me. At this point I'm a little shaky on which is which.
Now I've spent the last five years in this rootless state. At first it was strictly because I was depressed and miserable. The ending of a marriage will often do that to you. Okay, so I'm not divorced yet, so technically I'm still married, but we tend to think of that a little differently in Canada. Here we have something called legal separation. Once you're separated neither of you has access to anything the other person makes from that point forward. Legal separation has an impact on custody and such, as well, but that's not something I need to worry about these days. Another big difference in Canada is that you don't need permission from the other party to obtain a divorce. It's enough for one person to file. The other one can contest the terms, but they can't actually stop the divorce.
Americans, however, apparently call themselves married until the day the divorce is final, which seems freaky to me. I mean, once it's over for me the other party is an ex. Husband implies someone who has a say in my life. My ex would call me his wife and it would freak me right out. If I wanted to be called his wife, we'd have still been together. To avoid confusion, I suppose I should get on that whole divorce thing, though. He can't touch my money, and I can't touch his, but most people don't understand why we haven't made it final. In my case a lot of that has to do with being broke. I couldn't be bothered to spend the money when I needed it for other things. Now, of course, I haven't heard from him in a couple of months, which means I have to actually track him down in order to go ahead with it. I don't need his permission, but he does need to be served the papers if we aren't filing jointly.
Once I got over the emotional fall-out of separating (for those who are picky about terms), I suddenly had other issues looming over me. First it was my tailbone, and then it was my hip joints. I've managed to get the tailbone removed and can sit in a chair again, but the hip joints still need their surgery. Being stuck in limbo because of the situation meant I couldn't keep my business running, and my plans for buying property and building my house were put on hold. Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe it wasn't the best time for me to launch that particular project. Just maybe there were some things I needed to know about myself and my life before I was ready to make that decision about where I wanted to be.
I do know that I've since come up with at least one new requirement for my property. I've realized that I want to be on water. It was only a couple of years ago that I figured that out when I found a property with a river running through it and realized how much that meant to me. I started to consider the possibility of lakefront or oceanfront property, and when I started doing some checking I realized how obtainable that dream really was. Because I don't need to be close to city centres, and can live where I like, I'm not forced to look at the waterfront properties near those big cities - the properties that cost a fortune. I can be in the areas less-traveled and less-desired by masses of the population. I don't even care how cold it gets. With radiant in-floor heating, run by solar power, heat is not going to be a problem.
A friend of mine has a funny attachment to Borneo, but (loincloths or no) I'm not sure I could handle the heat & humidity there. It's pretty temperate, but still on the high side. The high amounts of rainfall would be cool, though. I'd love that! I'd rather be in the cold than the heat, though. I have no intention of being anywhere that requires 45 SPF sunblock just to walk from my house to my garage, so Mexico is out.
Yes, I definitely intend to have a garage - with a few nice cars in it, I might add. I'd like an old Jaguar XJS convertible, with the purring 12-cylinder engine. Maybe a DeLorean, with or without the drugs. If I ever have lots of money to spend on a car, there will also be a 1963 'Vette with a split rear windshield. Then there will be my 1998 BWM 3-series for everyday use - I'm debating on the convertible for that one, so maybe I'll have both just for the hell of it. They're cheap enough.
So, one day there will be roots, whenever I can figure out where the hell they'll be shoved into the ground, but those roots will spread to the global community and not merely the local one. As I've gotten older I've started thinking more and more about what's best for the world, rather than what's best for my country. Things like outsourcing that aren't particularly great for Canada or the US, but have had an amazing impact on developing countries like India. Maybe we've suffered for the loss of jobs, but then our suffering is nothing compared to the suffering in India. The suffering of the women in India has been reduced because North American companies don't care if they're women and hire them anyway. A friend of mine in India works for one of these companies, and they pay equal pay to women. This is what it means to think globally, for the benefit of all human kind, rather than just the few in our corner of the world.
This is also how I think of my friendships. You can be face-to-face with people all you want, but if you're not open about yourself and your life the friendships are no more meaningful than anything you might experience online. I often find people open up far more online than they do in real life or even on the phone. You can learn about people all over the world - the struggles they face that you might otherwise never learn of, and the cultural differences that are fascinating if we can get past the prejudices.
I know there are differences between online conversations, and phone conversations, or even between phone conversations and face-to-face conversations. In some ways the differences can be even more important when talking to someone you don't know well. I mean, I've had some bizarre misunderstandings in the past couple of months because someone mistakenly believed I was serious about something, or vice versa. Being a Canadian I think almost everything is funny, but there are things I do take very seriously, so how is anyone to know the difference?
Vocal inflections are a cue, of course, but body language can make all the difference. That sudden silence on the other end of the phone could be anything from a portent of disaster to someone trying not to laugh their ass off at you. This, of course, is only important if the people you're talking to are people you actually care about. There are only a couple of people I talk to either every day, or almost every day. Actually, I think there's only one person I talk to every single day. With the others I occasionally miss a day, as I don't count the odd Facebook comment. Still, if I'm talking to someone that much, it's because they have meaning to me, and I care about them.
I'm not big on phone conversations, usually, and I can think of only one person I'd talk on the phone with every day if I could. With everyone else I'm content to leave it to the electronic conversations. Of course, that same person is someone I'd see in person, too, which is a whole other level of personal interaction. In most cases I don't consider it necessary to see people in physical reality. After all, if I can view a person online and see their expressions, what else do I need?
It's only when physical contact with someone becomes desired, that it's required to meet in person. No, I don't necessarily refer to sex, although, hey, we all have our 'druthers' and healthy appetites there. Sex is great, but some people also have a physical need to touch others. Even in romantic relationships where you are having sex on a regular basis, there are other forms of physical contact that become a part of the relationship.
Platonic relationships also seem to have physical requirements, although I'm personally not sure why. I'm not the touchy-feely type there. My daughter will get the occasional hug from me, and friends I haven't seen in a really long time that I consider to be family, but I do not sit cuddled up with female friends (or male ones for that matter, unless there's something else going on there). I have a wide territorial bubble, and it's usually only sexual partners that get to sit inside that bubble with me. Otherwise I just get weirded out.
Of course, I have no bubble-mate at the moment, so I'm floating around a bit these days. That's okay, though. One day I'll float where I need to be, landing on the grass where my feet will begin to sprout roots.
Monday, 4 March 2013
Rape and Pregnancy - Feminism is NOT a Dirty Word
Well, it is past time for us ladies to strap on our boots and go to war. Again. Still. Possibly forever. You don't think so? Really? Have you seen what the 'rethuglicans' are trying to do in the US? Have you seen the misinformation and ignorance that they're trying to spread? Celeste Greig feels that she can inform the general public that women are incapable of becoming pregnant through rape, despite massive statistical and scientific evidence to the contrary. I guess she thinks women can change how their bodies work if they're 'traumatized' enough by the rape. So does that mean she thinks women who DO get pregnant as a result of rape actually enjoyed the occurrence? The truly horrifying thing is, she specifically states that she doesn't know what the statistics are, and so her statement is admittedly an assumption based on pre-conceived notions that have no basis in fact.
Sure, stress can influence a woman's reproductive capability...if the stress is long-term. The stress on the reproductive cycle changes hormonal levels and creates an environment that's not conducive to release, implantation or survival of the ovum. This takes time to occur, and does not happen in a single moment of stress. Anyone struggling with infertility can tell you all about it.
Let's look at the rape-pregnancy statistics then, shall we? In 1996 eighty-eight women were getting pregnant as a result of rape every single day in the US. This is based on a 3-year study at the time. You can check out the results for yourself here. Sure, the study is fairly old, but has rape stopped occurring? Nope. It has fallen by about 60%, but there is still an average of 207,754 sexual assaults per year, according to RAINN.org. This means there is an assault approximately every two minutes. Approximately 5% of rapes result in pregnancy, so if you do the math we're looking at about 28.5 pregnancies occurring daily as a direct result of rape.
So, do you not think the trauma that these women have suffered is bad enough? Should they be forced to carry the evidence of another person's crimes against them? Is it a sin to want to rid yourself of a pregnancy that is abhorrent to you, being the seed of a man who is obviously sick and unbalanced? Would you really want that genetic material to be carried forth into the world?
This brings up the whole nature versus nurture argument, but there really isn't any argument there. The fact is, we are a product of both. If we were merely a product of our environment, I would be a psychopathic killer. For the sake of brevity, we'll just say I didn't have it easy when I was growing up. There is, however, something in my genetic make-up that made all the difference in who I became. Something that made me feel responsible for my own actions, and something that gave me a sense of empathy toward fellow living creatures. It certainly wasn't something that came from my environment, I can tell you that much!
So, the unborn 'child' of a rapist should be allowed to flourish, despite the harm that it does to the person already living? By all means, let's sacrifice a person who is already sentient for a collection of cells that is completely unthinking and unfeeling at this point (that was sarcastic, in case you didn't pick up on that). There is no brain and there is no central nervous system, so I would like someone to explain to me - scientifically please - how it is that this lump of cells is actually in a position to feel anything or think anything at all.
Don't get me wrong. I do not believe in abortion as a form of birth control. I think we all make mistakes, particularly when we are young, but as adult females and males it is our responsibility to be sure we use birth control if we're going to have sex and don't want the consequences of pregnancy. Of course, if a person is too irresponsible to use birth control, I'm not sure I want them rearing children either, but that's another debate entirely with other possible solutions.
Pregnancy as a result of rape falls into a completely different category, however. Rape is never about choices (except on the part of the perpetrator), and a woman suffers so many consequences from that sort of attack that an unwanted pregnancy should never be one of them. The first line of defense should always be the morning-after pill. I don't even care what her own religious beliefs are at this point, because quite frankly she's most likely already in too much shock and trauma to make an informed decision. People don't always do what's best for themselves even under the best of circumstances. Rape is certainly far from the best circumstance. Still, choice is choice, so I would give the woman the choice if she doesn't want to take the pill, even if it goes against everything I think would be for the best. She doesn't need to be raped again by the medical establishment.
Second, abortion needs to be available. Many women do not report rapes right away. There is still such a stigma attached to being raped, and now there's the stigma attached to being a victim. Many women in this day and age hate the thought of being victimized, or looking like a victim in any way, so even though none of it is their fault they still feel as though they should have been able to prevent it or fight back. They experience guilt over what they were wearing, and feel like wimps because they couldn't defend themselves. Both are ridiculous, but so heavily ingrained in our societal make-up that they're almost inescapable.
If a rape isn't immediately reported, a woman isn't getting immediate medical attention. This means they're not getting the morning-after pill. So, they are at risk of being pregnant. So, ask yourself this: If a man forcibly and violently inserted his penis into you, would you want to bear his child? Do you think this man should be allowed to father children this way? If so, what about the men who want to dominate women by forcing them to become pregnant over and over? Is that right in your books, too? Those same men that keep 'their women' tied to home and hearth so that they have no other choices in life?
If you're a female and think all this is okay, I have one thing to say to you: You're an idiot! You're a masochist, too, but we'll leave that off the topic list for now. If you're female, and don't think we need feminism, I have the same thing to say to you: You're an idiot! Did you forget what feminism has done for the women of today? Did you forget that men used to OWN women? Did you forget that the only rights we have are those for which we are willing to fight - and are willing to KEEP fighting for? Have you forgotten how to use your own brain? Do you know what it's like to have someone tell you that you're not good enough the way you are, that you're not really a person because you happen to have a vagina rather than a penis? If you don't know, it's because a FEMINIST has done the dirty work for you.
If you're a male and think all this is okay, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. You can't possibly know what you're talking about. If you're a man who has been raped, how would you feel if that rape resulted in pregnancy? You're not a seahorse, so it's not possible for you to carry children, but what if it were? Would you still think it's okay to carry around the child of a rapist? To have a permanent reminder of the most horrific event of your life? If you think that's okay, you're an idiot, too. Shut up and let the intelligent people speak.
I am sick to death of people treating the word 'feminism' like it's a dirty word, or something to be ashamed of. I am a feminist. I believe in true equality. I believe that means paying my own way, and being just as responsible for my life as any man. It doesn't mean I want to be surrounded by ultra-sensitive, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat pussies, either. It means I want to be with a man who's strong enough to handle a real woman. A strong woman. A man who isn't threatened when a woman opens her mouth. A man who isn't, deep down, terrified of women. Being a feminist does not change my sexual orientation. It just means I'll be damned if I let myself get stepped on...by anyone.
Sure, stress can influence a woman's reproductive capability...if the stress is long-term. The stress on the reproductive cycle changes hormonal levels and creates an environment that's not conducive to release, implantation or survival of the ovum. This takes time to occur, and does not happen in a single moment of stress. Anyone struggling with infertility can tell you all about it.
Let's look at the rape-pregnancy statistics then, shall we? In 1996 eighty-eight women were getting pregnant as a result of rape every single day in the US. This is based on a 3-year study at the time. You can check out the results for yourself here. Sure, the study is fairly old, but has rape stopped occurring? Nope. It has fallen by about 60%, but there is still an average of 207,754 sexual assaults per year, according to RAINN.org. This means there is an assault approximately every two minutes. Approximately 5% of rapes result in pregnancy, so if you do the math we're looking at about 28.5 pregnancies occurring daily as a direct result of rape.
So, do you not think the trauma that these women have suffered is bad enough? Should they be forced to carry the evidence of another person's crimes against them? Is it a sin to want to rid yourself of a pregnancy that is abhorrent to you, being the seed of a man who is obviously sick and unbalanced? Would you really want that genetic material to be carried forth into the world?
This brings up the whole nature versus nurture argument, but there really isn't any argument there. The fact is, we are a product of both. If we were merely a product of our environment, I would be a psychopathic killer. For the sake of brevity, we'll just say I didn't have it easy when I was growing up. There is, however, something in my genetic make-up that made all the difference in who I became. Something that made me feel responsible for my own actions, and something that gave me a sense of empathy toward fellow living creatures. It certainly wasn't something that came from my environment, I can tell you that much!
So, the unborn 'child' of a rapist should be allowed to flourish, despite the harm that it does to the person already living? By all means, let's sacrifice a person who is already sentient for a collection of cells that is completely unthinking and unfeeling at this point (that was sarcastic, in case you didn't pick up on that). There is no brain and there is no central nervous system, so I would like someone to explain to me - scientifically please - how it is that this lump of cells is actually in a position to feel anything or think anything at all.
Don't get me wrong. I do not believe in abortion as a form of birth control. I think we all make mistakes, particularly when we are young, but as adult females and males it is our responsibility to be sure we use birth control if we're going to have sex and don't want the consequences of pregnancy. Of course, if a person is too irresponsible to use birth control, I'm not sure I want them rearing children either, but that's another debate entirely with other possible solutions.
Pregnancy as a result of rape falls into a completely different category, however. Rape is never about choices (except on the part of the perpetrator), and a woman suffers so many consequences from that sort of attack that an unwanted pregnancy should never be one of them. The first line of defense should always be the morning-after pill. I don't even care what her own religious beliefs are at this point, because quite frankly she's most likely already in too much shock and trauma to make an informed decision. People don't always do what's best for themselves even under the best of circumstances. Rape is certainly far from the best circumstance. Still, choice is choice, so I would give the woman the choice if she doesn't want to take the pill, even if it goes against everything I think would be for the best. She doesn't need to be raped again by the medical establishment.
Second, abortion needs to be available. Many women do not report rapes right away. There is still such a stigma attached to being raped, and now there's the stigma attached to being a victim. Many women in this day and age hate the thought of being victimized, or looking like a victim in any way, so even though none of it is their fault they still feel as though they should have been able to prevent it or fight back. They experience guilt over what they were wearing, and feel like wimps because they couldn't defend themselves. Both are ridiculous, but so heavily ingrained in our societal make-up that they're almost inescapable.
If a rape isn't immediately reported, a woman isn't getting immediate medical attention. This means they're not getting the morning-after pill. So, they are at risk of being pregnant. So, ask yourself this: If a man forcibly and violently inserted his penis into you, would you want to bear his child? Do you think this man should be allowed to father children this way? If so, what about the men who want to dominate women by forcing them to become pregnant over and over? Is that right in your books, too? Those same men that keep 'their women' tied to home and hearth so that they have no other choices in life?
If you're a female and think all this is okay, I have one thing to say to you: You're an idiot! You're a masochist, too, but we'll leave that off the topic list for now. If you're female, and don't think we need feminism, I have the same thing to say to you: You're an idiot! Did you forget what feminism has done for the women of today? Did you forget that men used to OWN women? Did you forget that the only rights we have are those for which we are willing to fight - and are willing to KEEP fighting for? Have you forgotten how to use your own brain? Do you know what it's like to have someone tell you that you're not good enough the way you are, that you're not really a person because you happen to have a vagina rather than a penis? If you don't know, it's because a FEMINIST has done the dirty work for you.
If you're a male and think all this is okay, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. You can't possibly know what you're talking about. If you're a man who has been raped, how would you feel if that rape resulted in pregnancy? You're not a seahorse, so it's not possible for you to carry children, but what if it were? Would you still think it's okay to carry around the child of a rapist? To have a permanent reminder of the most horrific event of your life? If you think that's okay, you're an idiot, too. Shut up and let the intelligent people speak.
I am sick to death of people treating the word 'feminism' like it's a dirty word, or something to be ashamed of. I am a feminist. I believe in true equality. I believe that means paying my own way, and being just as responsible for my life as any man. It doesn't mean I want to be surrounded by ultra-sensitive, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat pussies, either. It means I want to be with a man who's strong enough to handle a real woman. A strong woman. A man who isn't threatened when a woman opens her mouth. A man who isn't, deep down, terrified of women. Being a feminist does not change my sexual orientation. It just means I'll be damned if I let myself get stepped on...by anyone.
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